Things that bear no resemblence to anything remotely cool.In my freshmen year of college, in the little "get to know your fellow classmates" book that was distributed about, I listed my hobbies (and I thought this was funny) as "Collection of mollusks. Sweating". This caption appeared under a very flattering photo of myself sporting the Johnny Ramone haircut I'd had in high school. I was not popular.Nothing has changed. Except my hair.
I'd like to meet:
The American Dream, Dusty Rhodes. If you aren't Dusty, don't bother.
Music:
Lots of stuff. Um. Mr. T Experience, The Ergs, MOTO, Lemonheads, Toys That Kill, Marked Men, The Steinways, Green Day, Neil Diamond, Schooly D, Hank Willams, Johnny Cash, Elvis Costello, The Wipers, Screeching Weasel, Jawbreaker, Old 97s, Pernice Brothers, Nancy, Exploding Hearts, Lemuria, Benjamin Cartel, Bent Outta Shape... on and on.Speaking of music, PAY MY RENT! Go here and search for THE PEABODYS, then BUY EVERYTHING YOU SEE!!! Pretty please? I'll be your best friend if you do! Promise.
Movies:
Abominable, Roadside Prophets, Buffalo 66, Big Trouble In Little China, Sleepy Hollow, The Lord Of The Rings trilogy, Star Wars & Empire Strikes Back (pre-fucked-with versions), Ghost World, Annie Hall, Jeepers Creepers, This Is Spinal Tap, Waiting For Guffman, Art School Confidential, Evil Dead(s), Dawn Of The Dead (original & the remake), The Hills Have Eyes, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Shock Waves, Reanimator, Abominable, Grindhouse, pretty much any B horror movie...
Television:
Simpsons of course, The Daily Show, Dog The Bounty Hunter, The Colbert Report, Family Guy, pro wrestling, What Not To Wear, Iron Chef, most of the Adult Swim stuff, Firefly, South Park, Conan O'Brian, Arrested Development, X-Files, Kolchak: The Nightstalker, King Of The Hill, How Clean Is Your House?, A-Team, Battlestar Galactica, Manimal...
Books:
How about authors? Raymond Carver, Ray Bradbury, Chuck Klosterman, Frank Portman, Sam Harris, Daniel Clowes, Charles Burns, Kurt Vonnegutt, Robert Crumb, Graham Greene, Fyodor Dostevsky, Harvey Pekar, J.R.R. Tolkien, some Stephen King, David Sedaris... Heavy on the chagrin, extra light on the heartwarming and/or life-affirming.
Heroes:
In pretty much equal measure: "Nature Boy" Ric Flair, Lou Dobbs (by far the most sober & reasonable commentor on American politics), Ben Weasel, Bruce Campbell, Thom Hartmann, Dr. Frank , Daniel Clowes, Raymond Carver, Blake Schwarzenbach, Dusty Rhodes, Freddie Mercury, The Hulkster, Franklin D. Roosevelt & Mr. William Gordon Hosier... oh yeah, and Chaka.
