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Coldcock Jones & The Shithawks

VAGINAL SEX X 10!

About Me


Johnny "Coldcock" Jones was born in Peoria, IL on May 17th, 1933. In 1957, he collaborated for the first time with "Lightnin" Deuce Rooster (born Deuce Cooper) when they formed The Buttermilk 5 . Their first album, Stop, Drop & Boogie, was a local smash, and though they released nothing again until 1968's, O' Lord, the Things I Done, they were hugely revered... in Peoria. The followed with various live albums (Live In St. Louis '72), and porn soundtracks (Chocolate On Chocolate).
Coldcock and Lightnin's feuds were monumental and legendary. The band broke up hundreds of times, though they always got back together because no one else would play with them, except a small group of local oddballs that hung around Peoria's famed recording studio, Chocolate Ladyland , in the hopes of scoring drugs.
The band's on-again-mostly-off-again ways continued up through 1970s. Coldcock and Lightnin' were busted for breaking into several liquor stores around Peoria's Southtown district in 1979, both received 20-year sentences and were sent to Stateville Prison in Joliet. Released in the fall of '99, both returned to Peoria and found that their hard living had left them too decrepit to take the stage in the manner that they once had. Unwilling to accept his demise, Coldcock enlisted the services of one of the many witchdoctors on Peoria's riverfront. In exchange for two handguns and bag of assorted pills, the wangateur was able to transport Coldcock Jones' spirit into the body of another, younger, more agile man.
Coldcock joined the body of carp fisherman, part-time composer/performer, sex scientist and son of Satan, ArsoNick Scum . Scum, a fan and friend of Coldcock's, was more than willing to share his physical domain. To accomplish the merger, both needed to die and mix their blood with the healing waters of the Illinois River. On March 4th, 1999, Coldcock Jones jumped off the McCluggage Bridge onto ArsoNick Scum, who sat in his carp-fishing boat. The impact, as you can imagine, bloodied them both and put them both into the river.
ArsoNick Scum was pulled from the river by Peoria policemen, who beat and subsequently released him. To this day, Scum has to deal with the fact that if he smokes a menthol cigarette while drinking whiskey, he will become the monster that is Coldcock Jones, Peoria Blues Legend®. As opposed to the monster that he usually is, The Heartbroken Heartbreaker®.
Having seen what was possible, Lightnin' Deuce Rooster followed suit, only to have the misfortune of transferring his spirit into the body of a narcoleptic.
Finding that neither of them were finding the opportunities that were needed at hom in the 309 area code, Scum moved to Chicago, where he associated with rock & roll, metal and indie rock types that afforeded him to obtain gigs for both himself and Coldcock. Of course no one believes the truth of their shared existence, but neither care, as their only concerns are damaging souls and getting fucked up on drugs and alcohol.
Coldcock found it difficult to assemble a blues band in Chicago, as many black bluesmen refused to accept him as a black man, as ArsoNick Scum holds the curse of being a white man. He was forced to form a band out of younger white blues players. Then due to the light shade of the band, many blues clubs in Chicago were not interested in hiring a young white blues band, so they soon began booking gigs with rock n roll, punk, and metal bands at rock clubs with the help of his "manager," ArsoNick Scum.
Lightnin' remains in Peoria, unaware of where either he or Coldcock is. His aunt CeCe, with whom he lives, has yet to notice that he is now white, nor that he falls asleep at random time during the day.
That's about the gist of it, except for this...

My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 4/24/2007
Band Website: churchofsatan.com/baddestfuckers/ccj
Band Members:

Johnny " Coldcock " Jones - vocals

EZ " Stabby " Bakewell - guitar

"Wild" Willy Williams - guitar

Elston " 10-Finger " Johnson - bass

Clarence " Steady Rock " Jameson - drums

Other musicians on the album:

Simi - backing vocals
Dorian Taj - organ/backing vocals
Chris Cowgill - backing vocals

Backup Bass Players:

John " Trigger " Adams
Tommy " Titty-Grab " Jefferson

I can' tell you the true identity of the Shithawks' A-Lineup, but I'll tell you this, it's comprised of 2 barbacks , a bartender , a production manager and an instructor at the School of Rock. All who work in rock clubs.

Primary thanks to Lightnin' Deuce Rooster , of the Buttermilk 5 , who wrote some of these songs with Coldcock way back when.

69 Greatest Hits EP was recorded with Vince Casamatta at Southside Recording Company . Produced by ArsoNick Scum and Vince Casamatta .
Influences: Drugs, alcohol, women, lack of women, anger, too many women, women that are too young, women that are too ugly, white people, wreckless living.
Videos by Thinker Thought Records: Sept. 21st @ The Note.
"O' Lord, The Things I Done"

"I Kill People For Money"

My next door neighbor (above)
Sounds Like: The ass of Christ... or maybe a black Hasil Adkins.
Record Label: unsigned
Type of Label: None

My Blog

SUNDAY, 4/27/08 - Coldcock AND Red Hot Annie take it off!!!

It's the goddamned truth!As if our goddamned flammable profanity laden blues show wasn't enough, this Sunday at REGGIE'S MUSIC JOINT for FREE, come see the beautiful RED HOT ANNIE take off her clothes...
Posted by Coldcock Jones & The Shithawks on Thu, 24 Apr 2008 12:43:00 PST

Looking for Women to Tolerate/Make Us Look Cool.

All you have to do is come to our shows and/or talk about us and make heavy drinkin' dudes show up. Less sausage, more saucy.This will do, but all applicants will be accepted. Thank you f...
Posted by Coldcock Jones & The Shithawks on Fri, 04 Jan 2008 03:00:00 PST

Buttermilk 5 Live in St. Louis ’72 video.

This boy, Dylan, from Fly TV made this. Dave Moe drew the shit, Dylan animated it and me and Deuce made the sound a long fucking time ago. ...
Posted by Coldcock Jones & The Shithawks on Wed, 02 Jan 2008 09:42:00 PST

Halloween’s a comin’.

Now all you ladies, don't forget to dress up like some kind of whore. Me an' all the other creeps of the world will be judging you.- Johnny "Coldcock" Jones
Posted by Coldcock Jones & The Shithawks on Fri, 12 Oct 2007 11:43:00 PST

Sept. 21 @ The Note w/ Andre Williams.

September 21st, 2007.Don't know who Andre Williams is? Click Here.. Want to add him on Myspace? Add him Here.Are you Dougie Ramone or Matt Tanner? Go see him the day before at Triple Rock.Here, ju...
Posted by Coldcock Jones & The Shithawks on Wed, 15 Aug 2007 11:44:00 PST

Crowd Response.

In response to the events of Aug. 13th at Liar's Club....1. "Mr.Jones killed the soundboard a few times in the dj booth..or maybe that was ArsonNick.there was also about 10 minutes where you thought ...
Posted by Coldcock Jones & The Shithawks on Wed, 15 Aug 2007 11:11:00 PST

Shithawks @ Liar’s Club: Monday, Aug. 13th

Introducing the PB&J Girls.
Posted by Coldcock Jones & The Shithawks on Tue, 07 Aug 2007 03:59:00 PST

PS. Sharks Fuck.

This shark is a slut! Dolphins fucking... Tigers gettin' it on... Kangaroos have lil' doodads... Gorilla on Girillia bonin'... ...
Posted by Coldcock Jones & The Shithawks on Wed, 25 Jul 2007 01:18:00 PST

The most fucked up thing I've seen... and I've seen Sharks Fuck.

I have the Cobra Lounge to thank for this.If you watched the whole part one... you must have barfed, either from laughter or the obvious... "Pretend you're having your period....
Posted by Coldcock Jones & The Shithawks on Wed, 25 Jul 2007 01:04:00 PST

Video Clip of Coldcock @ The Mutiny

Ol' Jared Grabb of Thinker Thought Records and Scouts Honor done shot this video with his camera. I was tryin' to play "Real Tight Pussy," but shit kept goin' wrong. This is what happens when the Sh...
Posted by Coldcock Jones & The Shithawks on Thu, 05 Jul 2007 12:59:00 PST