Podcasting, clam digging, compound
sentences, crying after making love, collecting
antique bongs, gas station lube, lifespacing, heckling
fundamentalists who heckle gay pride parades, Congressional Clevage, Al Sharpton's bidet, mime interpretations of Western Nigerian Poetry, Canadian curling (American curling's for pussies), jazzing up my unmentionables with The Bedazzler, the Green Party , making my own Kosher Wine, onanism, girls who like cupcakes, whiskey dick, keeping my Ghetto Pass, organic wine, flapjacking, internet wampum (aka used panties), skidmark reading, eating and sending Spam (extra goop, please), That's Not Funny, That's Sick!" , Gay Sex!, little bastards
I'd like to meet:
A designated driver, bisexual women who enjoy amateur porn and aren't afraid of crowds, The REAL Jackie Warner , Rae Dawn Chong , Violet Blue (not the porn skank), that cheese-stealing bastard Gary Bower, Jim Swarthy, Jack Puentes Lou Stules, Benjamin Dover and Steve Blitzen.
Music:
Micah Wolf , Vic Sadot , Uncle Dirty , Nellie McKay , Group X , A different Erick Schwartz , Deborah Harry , Erin Smith , John Teleska , Casino , The Atomic Swindlers , The Krinkles , Autumn Lost ,
Kanekoa , David Martinez , The Atomic Swindlers , The Red Button , Nervous But Excited , Luan Parle , The Moons , Laura Cheadle , The Cain and Beesh Band , Cherri Capri , Sisters Grimm , Black Square , Trevor R. Todd , Jim Stephens and Team Flash , Mexican Cession , Doug and the Slugs , Robyn Hitchcock , Anuhea , ReBirth Brass Band , Thrill Racer , Dream Kitchen , Blind Boys of Alabama, Cornfed Productions Bands , Swamp Candy , The Naturals, The Dollyrots , Joan Jett , Precious Bryant , PlasmaGora , The Vacancies , Kill Henry Sugar , Shannon McNally , Thought , Domenicer , The Morning Stars , Sheedyfrost , Ethan Lipton & His Orchestra , Extra Action Marching Band , Jenn Wertz , Eric Schwartz , Sloan, The Moaners , Jodelle , Colin Hay , Michelle Hotaling , Wonderlick ,
Gaucho Gil , Camera Obscura , Too Much Joy , Eleni Mandell , Southpaw Jones , Will Hoge , , Kalu James , A.J. Croce , Robert Cray , Bakra Bata , Golem , Milton , Josh Weinstein , Fishbone , Dred Zepplin , Walt Atkison, The Aquanettas, Deborah Magone , The Capitals , The Lobster Quadrille , Pietzsche Nietzches , The Wild Geese , Giant Panda Guerilla Dub Squad , Jill Sobule , Abi Tapia , Bus Boys , Reitmo Seis , Wally Pleasant , Bitch & Animal, Public Enemy , Pirate Music, Whitee , anything recorded at Black Dog Recording Studio
Movies:
Anything by Traci Lords before she sold out,
Tapeheads, Strange Brew, Sophie's Choice, Squirm, Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, Roots - the Musical, An Unreasonable Man
Television:
UFO, Police Squad, That's So Raven (when
I'm on Payote), Bassmasters, Prison Break, Fat chicks
on the Food Channel, Speed Buggy, Masterpiece Theatre,
Church services on Cable Access, Dean Martin Roasts, Pants Off Dance Off, VH1 Porn...I mean videos, Fonzie's Sex Ed Video,
Books:
Mr. Parsons Presents All The Three Letter Words , The Time/Life Home Improvement Series, Kama
Sutra for Short-Order Cooks, Anything Pop Up or
Scratch 'n Sniff, Heat, anything from Cleis Press , Hooray for Diffendoofer Day, Hungry Planet , Plumbing Tips by L. Ron Hubbard, TV Guide sure reads like a book, doesn't it?
Heroes:
Mitch Hedberg, Eddie Izzard, Johnny Vagina, Marc Maron, Bob Crane, Phil Bond, Dr. Cornell West, Cheese, The Labatts Family, Philipina, Ted Lange, Lara Logan, Private Michael Secrosser of the Gainsboro Secrossers, the person who will be donating their liver to me in a few years
