Jessie - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I am a 37 year old southern firecracker with a low tolerance for cheap skanks! Most men refer to me as a "Heart Breaker", and my uncle thinks I'm a great kisser. If you mess with me and my man (if I have one), then me and my best friend, Muerta, will "F" you up!!!
I consider myself a successful and independent woman. Even though I was fired from the Waffle House and don't have a J-O-B, I can proudly say that my trailer and 1985 Monte Carlo are paid for.

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My Interests

I LOVE Men with Mullets, Schlitz with a chaser of Milwaukee's Best, Wild Irish Rose, Marlboro Reds when I can afford them, riding my bicycle after a night of heavy drinking, eating chili cheeseburgers at 2:30 am, handling a switchblade, karaoke, the smell of new shoes, sweating to the oldies, dancing in front of the mirror in my leotard when no one is around, farting in bed--then fluffing the covers

I'd like to meet:

My daddy, the hot guy at Food Lion, and I'd also like to meet Jennifer Lopez because my friends say I look a lot like her! Check out my game below---how fast can you spank your monkey?

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Which would you rather smell like?
Dirty socks?
Sour milk?
Boiled cabbage?
Chronic halitosis?
Chittlins?

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Music:

Judas Priest, Def Leppard, Poison, Cinderella, Iron Maiden, Megadeth, The Grease soundtrack, Dokken, Molly Hatchet, and a little Lynard Skynard

Movies:

Xanadu, Fatal Attraction (love the ending), Porky's I, II, and III, Deliverance

Television:

Jerry Springer, Maury, My Name is Earl

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I adopted a cute lil' poison fetus from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!
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Heroes:

Lorraina Bobbitt, Lizzie Borden

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STD's herpes and genital warts

My Blog

Had a great time in hotlanta!

Just a few thoughts about the weekend...Wow! Muerta really knows how to entertain. She introduced me to her neighbors, Juan and Paco. They took us to a cock fight at their cousi...
Posted by Jessie on Tue, 22 May 2007 07:35:00 PST

Can't wait for the weekend!

It's gonna be a great weekend! Muerta just called from the pay phone, and she says her bus is in Raleigh. She should be here by early evening, and she's bringing her new boyfriend, Dewey.&...
Posted by Jessie on Fri, 13 Apr 2007 11:11:00 PST

My Toes Itch!

WTF! I went to the nail salon at Wal-Mart today, and the usual oriental gal wasn't in to do my nails, so I went with this new woman who looked like she may have been from Puerto Rico. ...
Posted by Jessie on Tue, 13 Mar 2007 02:05:00 PST

I HATE IT WHEN...

1. I get a little poo on my sleeve when I go to wipe my butt 2. I have to shave off my eyebrows because I've tweezed out too many hairs 3. the washing machine doesn't get all the cru...
Posted by Jessie on Mon, 19 Feb 2007 08:09:00 PST

OUCHEEEE

OMG, have you ever gotten drunk and done something you really regretted the next day? Well, I'm having that feeling right now. My uncle Frank got out on parole a few days ago. He was...
Posted by Jessie on Fri, 02 Feb 2007 01:30:00 PST

Ready for the weekend------>>

Can't wait for the weekend. I have a one hour supervised visit with my kids on Saturday--the social worker is bringing them to the McDonald's around the corner. After that, ...
Posted by Jessie on Fri, 26 Jan 2007 01:51:00 PST

Still childless.....

Well court didn't go good. The judge thinks I need to see my doctor to see about upping my medicines. My social worker lied and told him that I was hearing voices. That's just not tr...
Posted by Jessie on Fri, 12 Jan 2007 09:36:00 PST

Just Wondering???

Is it wrong to think your brother is sexy? Just wondering.
Posted by Jessie on Fri, 12 Jan 2007 12:36:00 PST

Social Services Sucks!

I have been trying for several months to get my four children back from social services. They are in foster care because the social workers told the judge I'm a bad parent. I don...
Posted by Jessie on Thu, 28 Dec 2006 08:37:00 PST

I HATE therapy and my therapist!!!

I spoke to my therapist Friday. She says I'm obsessing over the guy at the store, and I need to turn my focus elsewhere. I don't know what the big deal is. I really hate talking to t...
Posted by Jessie on Mon, 04 Dec 2006 10:28:00 PST