Porter Mason profile picture

Porter Mason

Cartoonist, writer and actor. (All at once.)

About Me

I don't update this page anymore, so head to my Facebook page or PorterMason.com .

I do a comic strip called Bassist Wanted . I also perform at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in New York .

My E! True Hollywood Story:

Well, I was born and raised in Philadelphia. I spent most of my days on the playgrounds really. Just you know, maxing, relaxing, sometimes I would just play all cool, too. Oh, I also loved to shoot basketball outside of my school.

Then... this one day, these couple of guys who were just up to no good, you know, they just generally started making trouble around my neighborhood. I got into this fight, just one, a little fight really, but still, my mom got scared, so she was all, "Hey, look, you're going to move in with your aunt and uncle who live in Bel Air." (which is in California) So then I whistled for a cab, and this one pulled up, and as it got close I realized it had dice in the mirror, which I thought was odd, but I said, "Screw it, hey man, can you take me to Bel Air (which is in California)."

It took a long time because we were driving from Philadelphia all the way across the country to California, but we pulled up to the curb at seven or eight or so the next day (I forget exactly when, but it was around seven or eight). And I said goodbye to the cabbie, and said, "Smell you later, dude!" Which was like part of a little running joke we had during our cross-country roadtrip, so he laughed at that.

Anyway, I looked around at the house, which was really nice, almost looked like a castle, so I thought, "Well, here I am finally, what a long trip, and I guess I'm the new 'prince' at this kingdom. The fresh, new prince of Bel Air, that's what I am!" And that made me laugh, so I went in, and I've been living there ever since.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

People who love my awesome comic strip, Bassist Wanted .

I would also like to meet and subsequently marry a woman who has fairly extensive knowledge of Disney's Robin Hood and It's a Wonderful Life.

I DO NOT WANT TO MEET ANYONE WHO EFFING LEAVES THE CAPS LOCK KEY PRESSED WHEN THEY TYPE. Please, for the love of God, never do that. It embarrasses all of us and makes us uncomfortable. Also, mixing capital letters with lowercase letters, in some bizarre effort to be "cute" (i.e. i lOvE cLUbbinG) is possibly even more idiotic. If you do these things, STEER CLEAR OF ME.

(Note the capitalized words in the last sentence that emphasize a key phrase. This common usage of capital letters implies that one should read those words slightly louder when reading them.)

Music:

Recently, during a panic attack, I listened to Keep It Like a Secret by Built to Spill, and that really made me feel a lot better.

Movies:

Manos: The Hands of Fate

Television:

I have succumbed to "Lost" and given myself over to its power.