Poking fun at the less fortunate, anonymous good deeds, Philadelphia Eagles, Philadelphia Flyers, Philadelphia Sixers, Philadelphia Phillies, and just about anything else that causes misery.
I'd like to meet:
depths of me.:
Get to know me a little better. The questions that really help you to know me. Have fun.
If you could live in any other place, where & why? Scott Peterson's boat. Mainly for the nostalgia.
What animal best represents you & why? Unicorn. Because it's gay and magical
What is the craziest thing you ever did? Beat Heather Mills with her own leg
If you could meet anyone, who would it be & why? God. To thank him for creating retards for my enjoyment.
If you could go back in time & live in any decade, which would it be & why? The roarin' '20's. To show those gals how to really do the Chattanooga choo-Choo!
If you could have any superpower what would it be? Bionic Penis
Whos is your ultimate celebrity crush? Matt Damon
What color best represents you? Rapist Mauve. It's Crayola's newest addition to the box of 64.
What would your life's theme song be? "Whoop! There It Is"
Who would you cast to play you in a movie? Stephen Hawking
What celebrity best represents your vision of fashion? Jonathan Lipnicki
What would your life movie be called? Miscarriage of Justice: This Time, It's Prenatal!
What is the greatest music video of all time? Iesha, by Another Bad Creation
If you could star in any t.v. show, which one would it be? Dr. 90210. I'd be world renowned for performing over 2000 operations which stretch men's eyelids down to their balls.
What vehicle best represents you? Tandem Bicycle
If you could bring back 1 famous person from the dead for a day, who & why? Gianni Versace. Just to use the phrase "two birds with one stone."
If you became president, what would you do first? Legalize ascots
If you got one tattoo, what would it be? A bunch of black unicorn's beating up Reginald Denny
If you were on MTV's Made, what would you ask to be? Black
Who do you think is the hottest athlete? Freddy Adu
Who do you think is the hottest actor/actress? Andy Dick/Kathy Griffin. I think they're the same person.
Who do you think is the hottest musician/singer/rapper? Wesley Willis
Who do you think is the hottest t.v. reality star? Pedro Zamora
What sport best represents you & why? Cricket. Unfortunately, I've been played by more Brits than I'd like to admit
What is your most missed memory of childhood? My uncle taking my virginity
What is your greatest accomplishment? I've seen Steel Magnolia 57 times and I still cry when Shelby dies.
Take this survey or other MySpace Surveys at PimpSurveys.com
Music:
Metallica, Korn, Sarah McLachlin, Deftones, Van Morrison, Fiona Apple, Wu-Tang Clan, Johnny Cash, The Killers, Slipknot, Vanessa Carlton, Michael Bolton, Bobby Brown, Jimmy Eat World
Movies:
Shawshank Redemption, Field Of Dreams, Team America: World Police, South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut, Cool Hand Luke, The Hustler, King of New York, Braveheart, American Beauty, Spaceballs, Miracle, National Treasure
Television:
All in the Family, West Wing, Family Guy, The Simpsons, Stump the Schwab, Two Minute Drill, SportsCenter, Scrubs
Books:
The Prophet, Your Best Life Now, anything by Wayne Dyer, L.A. Confidential, anything about baseball history, the Bible, the Satanic Bible, Everyday Grace
Heroes:
God. I'm blessed with tremendous family and friends. It's overwhelming how much God has given me and I am grateful for every day I have. Also, my friends Dan and Steve. They have been my best friends and best audience for years now. Lenny Bruce. Because of him, I'm able to tell the kind of jokes I enjoy telling on stage.
