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Ken

Really? Reeeaalllly?

About Me

I eat soft tacos so fast that I lose my breath. I think Cactus Cooler is a breakfast soda. I used to believe in love, but now I just want someone to split the cable bill with. I once told Peter Falk about my suicide attempt while he ate oysters. I also like to read instruction manuals for toasters, digital watches, and electric toothbrushes. I watch The Sports List with Summer Sanders, but not for the sports lists. I believe one of the greatest moments of American Cinema is when Leslie Mann's character in The 40 year-old virgin blurts out," I'm starvin'... let's get some f**kin' Frrrreeeennnch Toast." I like the smell of my hair treatment... the pleasing odor is half the point. I agree with the sentiment behind the life motto "What would Jesus do," but sometimes I think you need to ask yourself "What would Tommy Gavin do?" I'm starting a campaign to Stamp Out Death and I'm lobbying for the official definition of fun to be changed to "when the mailman accidentally delivers you your neighbor's copy of Maxim." My girlfriend and I both said "light" for our first word... though I said it 1977 and she said it 1986. In my heart, Bumblebee will always be a Volkswagen Beetle. I think the world should be aware that there is a 2006 movie called Bandidas starring Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz as two very different turn of the century women that "become a bank-robbing duo in an effort to combat a ruthless enforcer terrorizing their town." My only true career goal might just be to be part of a Tornado Chase Team. (But not if Bill Paxton is driving. Jeez.) I've fallen asleep in a hot shower, the barber's chair, and while waiting at a red light in my car while driving to a Groundlings' class yet I consistently have trouble falling asleep in my own bed.

My Interests

Music, Comedy, Writing, Movies, Baseball, Sinister plots to overthrow small European countries, Avoiding women who like me, Seeking out women that couldn't possibly like me, Trying to be positive in the face of extreme self-loathing, Bike Riding, Target shooting, Pretending to go target shooting to increase street cred, getting on the green in two and then three putting my way to a double bogey, cooking steaks and various grillables for friends and loved ones, taking long showers, and being a cuddle pack.

I'd like to meet:

Steve Martin. Vin Scully. Rowdy Roddy Piper. Ringo Starr. For lunch. Ringo's choice. I'll buy.

Music:

The Beatles, U2, Oasis, Beth Orton, Ryan Adams, Liz Phair, Texas, K's Choice, Semisonic, Badly Drawn Boy, Jet, Nick Drake, Nick Lowe, Paul Westerberg, The Replacements, Paul Weller, The Jam, Weezer, Fountains of Wayne, Matthew Jay, Richard Ashcroft, The Jayhawks, Sarah McLachlan, The Who, Jude, Josh Joplin Group, Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers, Teenage Fanclub, Crowded House, Wilco, Son Volt, Gin Blossoms, Rachel Yamagata, Jen Trynin, Jesse Malin, Colin Hay, Eels, Neil Freakin' Diamond, and... The Dick Nixons

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Movies:

Star Wars, Indiana Jones, The Lord of the Rings, (Or to save time... Indiana Solo and the Fellowship of the Ewoks.) High Fidelity, About a Boy, Almost Famous, Amelie, , When Harry met Sally..., Grosse Point Blank, Swingers, Election, Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show, A Mighty Wind, Magnolia, American Beauty, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Roxanne, Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums, Lost in Translation, The Big Lebowski, O Brother, where art thou?, The Last of the Mohicans, Love Actually, As Good as it gets, Beautiful Girls, Comedian, Dogma, Eight Men Out, Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind, Field of Dreams, Garden State, Glory, Great Expectations, Little Voice, Funny Farm, Memphis Belle, Office Space, Tombstone, Young Guns I & II, Shopgirl, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, The Life Aquatic, Hot Fuzz, The 40 year-old virgin, and Pee-Wee's Big Adventure

Television:

Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Simpsons, Ed, Freaks and Geeks, Arrested Development, SNL, Survivor, Rescue Me, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Buscando Amor, Flight of the Conchords, The First 48, the hotel guide channel at the Riviera, and anything MTV forces me to get hooked on against my will. (First season of Sorority Girls rocked!!!)

Books:

High Fidelity, About a Boy, Kissing in Manhatten, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Plan B, Thirtynothing, Dinner for Two, The Pleasure of my Company, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy trilogy, Dirk Gently series, Walk On: The Spirtial Journey of U2, Killing Bono, A Long Way Down, and The Bible.

Heroes:

People with enough courage to be in love and back-up catchers.Annnnd these guys...

My Blog

Hey, scenster...

Oh, I get it.I see how it is, dude.You walk into the Hollywood performance venue/ club with a dress shirt and tie, but you're not wearing a suit. Oh no. You're wearing a green hoodie and tight blue je...
Posted by Ken on Fri, 06 Jun 2008 12:04:00 PST

The Devil and Miss Hathaway...

The Spice Girls once sang that two become one... err... correction: 2 become 1. ("Put it on/ put it on.") and, quite frankly, 'dem girls got it right. My special lady friend and I are approaching two ...
Posted by Ken on Sat, 24 May 2008 10:37:00 PST

The one about the idiot that killed my car...

First off... before I even begin... there are many, many things in life to worry about.  Death, divorce, joblessnes, etc. I get that. I keep repeating over and over that perspective is key to lif...
Posted by Ken on Tue, 13 May 2008 06:43:00 PST

Annual Birthday Blog

On Saturday, April 19th, 2008... tomorrow as I write this... I will turn 32. Ha! Whatever, 32. You try so hard to seem important or intimidating, but you ain't, slugger. You just cannot possibly be.&n...
Posted by Ken on Sat, 19 Apr 2008 10:45:00 PST

Spacey said...

You just don’t know where you are going to learn your life lessons. I got home from work tonight and was craving a freshly made Deli sandwich from my local supermarket. I saddled up the ol&rsquo...
Posted by Ken on Tue, 01 Apr 2008 07:59:00 PST

What if The Beatles never broke up...

What if&   The Beatles never broke up& The world was treated the best Beatle album ever in 1972.  Following a small break to settle tensions in the band, (which saw John paint Yoko f...
Posted by Ken on Sun, 02 Mar 2008 07:55:00 PST

Over it...

You know what?Here's the thing...I don't care about my hair. I could lose it now. I just... don't... care. I once had long, thick hair. It was a trademark in High School. I once had hair down almost t...
Posted by Ken on Tue, 12 Feb 2008 09:54:00 PST

The boring one about my job...

I never really write about my day job. The reasons are too long to list. Yet I'm going to try:* I've tried in vain to make the Internet Public believe I'm successful enough to not need a day job. (But...
Posted by Ken on Thu, 07 Feb 2008 12:29:00 PST

The Demon...

So the special lady friend and I worked really hard to see Cloverfield last night. Our first movie time at The Grove (Which is seperate from the Farmes Market, people! Get that through your damn heads...
Posted by Ken on Sun, 20 Jan 2008 11:57:00 PST

Mickey

I realize I haven't written... errr... blogged about anything in awhile. I fully intended to write something this week. I finally had a moment to spare and I had much to share about dealing with holid...
Posted by Ken on Fri, 28 Dec 2007 02:40:00 PST