The Matt Key profile picture

The Matt Key

Lone Purveyor of the Rumor that I'm Awesome.

About Me

People tell me that my most distinctive trait is my awesomeness. It's like, I don't know where it comes from, so it must be some strange intrinsic quality, possibly coming from some ancient magical lineage from the time my great great great great great great Grandfather was cursed by some gypsy to be uncool until he accomplished some heinous task; but, once he completed the heinous task the curse reversed into a blessing and now every other generation inherits some awesome gene. That's the only thing I can think of. I enjoy cartoons, alot. I find them to be our last hope for pure creativity because Hollywood is running out of ideas. Recently I have embraced my intrinsic nerdiness and reignited my love of Comic books. I am a Marvel guy, intrigued by DC and Image, but too entrenched in the House of Ideas to leave the cozy abode which they provide. Moreover, I've allowed my nerdiness to run rampant and now willingly admit my sad sad obsession with Battlestar Galactica. I'm starting to fear that I actually have no affinities for anything that is "en vogue." This is problematic if I'm going to attempt at fitting in with the general American populace. Perhaps, tomorrow, I'll go buy some shoes and discuss the local sporting team. I think that I get along with everybody. I'm not tooting my own horn there, but it's a scientific fact that I am one of the most amiable people in existence. I am an improvisor. I have recently begun allowing myself to the space to say that I am a "Good" improvisor; meaning that I only fail to improvise well some of the time. Strangely enough that does not mean that I am not consistenly funny. I mean, I'm not, but it doesn't mean that. FYI. I also attempt to be funny doing stand up and Sketch comedy. I fail at those attempts too, but at least I'm doing it. You get in front of 50 people you've never met and tell YOUR jokes into a microphone! Not so easy now is it?! Lastly, have any of you ever played bocceball? Seriously, if you want a game, I live across the street from a great park with mini peaks and mini valleys and I'll take you on! They didn't call me boccechamp McGee at the Seminary for nothing.And now, here's a slide show:


My Interests

doing stuff? I like to attempt writing and performing comedy. I enjoy religious and philosophical discussions. morning crosswords and a cup of coffee. the occasional sentence diagram. The reading of comics and other classic works of literature.:
You are Spider-Man Spider-Man 50% Green Lantern 80% Superman 75% The Flash 70% Iron Man 65% Supergirl 54% Catwoman 50% Wonder Woman 44% Robin 42% Batman 40% Hulk 40% You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

I'd like to meet:

People. Preferably People that I will like. Maybe robots. No, DEFINITELY robots. I might even prefer meeting a robot over people. Well, a sentient robot, like Johnny 5 in Short Circuit... Mark Twain would be interesting. I'd also like to meet a real life Genie. And Harry Potter and Hermione and Ron. Though, my love is really for Ginny Weasley...she's a fighter.I'd also like to meet Napoleon Bonaparte, Socrates, Billy the Kid, Sigmund Freud, Genghis Kahn, Abraham Lincoln, Beethoven and Joan of Arc, all at one place. Perhaps at San Dimas High School, who's football I hear rules...Seriously, I'd like to meet myself when I was 7, and then again when I was 15, and tell myself it's okay to be uncool. That, in a few years, the nerd look will be in. That I won't always be the butt of everyone's jokes. I'd also like to meet my parents when they were those same ages.Celebrity Wise, probably Steve Carell, Steve Martin, Eric Idle, Abbott and Costello, Charlie Kaufman, Wes Anderson, P.T. Anderson, Andre the Giant, Buster Keaton; definitely Conan O'Brien.Historical Figure wise: Henry VIII, Shakespeare, Oppenheimer, President Taft, the poet who first uttered the poetry for Beowulf, Aesop, Plato and Aristotle, Cleopatra, President Nixon, Edgar Allen Poe, Martin Luther, The Cappadocian FathersHere is the current improv show that I'm in!

Music:

Currently the band that I enjoy the most is The Decemberists. I also enjoy the Flaming Lips quite a bit, though their last album was no Yoshimi. the new Sigur Ros album honestly made me cry, it's so beautiful; that is to say, I like sigur Ros. Favorite Singer/Songwriter is hands down Josh Ritter. His song "Girl in the War" is very pretty and very sincere and very heartfelt. The only Christian music I really listen to is Rich Mullins, because I know he lived the life and that's truly inspiring. To be cool I guess I'm supposed to say that I love Radiohead so, "I love Radiohead." The list: Explosions in the Sky, Ben Folds, Modest Mouse, Bright Eyes, Weezer, The White Stripes, Johnny Cash, The Arcade Fire, Film School, Muse, Bon Jovi, Van Halen, MC Solaar, Beastie Boys, Bowie, Sufjan Stevens...I'm done, I have too much music to list my favorites. I'm cool alright, I don't need my list of music to validate the cool meter...oh, I said Radiohead, right? cause I do, I like Radiohead... I also like Irish Folk music and a good Scottish bagpipe Dirge now and again. Or Flogging Molly.

Movies:

I think that Edward Scissorhands is one of the best movies out there. A guy with scissors for hands and it's not a horror flick. That's just good writing. Plus, Alan Arkin is priceless. Also, Rushmore. Maybe the best film ever made. "These are OR scrubs." "O R they?" The only film to rival Rushmore is "The Royal Tenenbaums", which is also genius. I like Buster Keaton. The list: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Adaptation, Magnolia, Groundhog Day, Ghost Busters, The Royal Tenenbaums, Annie Hall, Monty Python and the Meaning of Life, Life of Brian, Search for the Holy Grail, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, Bottle Rocket, Back to the Future, The Shawshank Redemption, Dogma, American Beauty, The Muppets Movie, The Dark Crystal, Crimes and Misdemeanors, Tombstone, Pale Rider, Airplane!, Monster Squad, The Princess Bride, if it's got Harry Potter in it...I'm game. Have you seen cloverfield? I was legitimately terrified. if anything, it's a fun ride. I started off not liking Into the Wild, but really liked it by the end. I can also tell you that I'm NOT a huge fan of the Fast and Furious movies, I'm NOT a fan of those movies that reference other Movies (i.e. "Date Movie", "Epic Movie", "Meet the Spartans", etc.). Garden State, I didn't like it. I felt like the film making was blatantly contrived and that it was filled with zach braff's pretentiousness.

Television:

Cartoon Network's Adult Swim block. Best TV on these days. So funny. I don't know if it's possible to get any better then "The Venture Brothers". It's honestly the most genius and most flawless amalgamation of pop cultural references ever experienced by the human mind. Then of course is South Park. Even after South Park's expose on how The Family Guy writes their shows, I still find I love that show. The Muppet Show was far ahead of its time. SNL was ahead of it's time too, but it decided to take a break from being ahead of it's time and resort to being whatever the hell it is now. Bill, Dan, Gilda and John, why have you forsaken us!? I'm a 24 fan, but now we have to wait for 2009! Ugh! Love "Seinfeld", Love "The Simpsons", was raised on "Hogan's Heroes", "I Dream of Jeannie", "MASH", and "Green Acres", so I love them. As far as game shows go, Jeopardy!, it's really the original quiz show for me, and still the most challenging. There is still hope for the world of sitcoms with terrific shows like Arrested Development. No, wait...there was hope for sitcoms when Arrested Development was on, but apparently over half the damned country didn't get the jokes. BUSTER HAD A CLAW FOR A HAND PEOPLE!!! How is that not funny! How do you not get that! David Cross was an upbeat, optimistic loser! Come on! Bob Loblaw! But, there is still hope for sitcoms with shows like "The Office", oh wait, that actually has low ratings too. Serioulsy, you stupid Americans. If Steve Carroll farted in every episode and then got in a dumb fight with his brother Daryll, would you watch the show then!? Guess I'll just have to watch Battlestar Galactica, which is not so much a show as it is a terrible addiction. If only it weren't so good. Recently decided that I really like AMC's "Breaking Bad." Oh, and my favorite new discoveries are "Flight of the Conchords" and "LOST"

Books:

The literature of Shusako Endo, specifically Silence. I rather enjoyed my tromp through Dostoyevsky. I really enjoyed Salinger's Catcher in the Rye and Nine Stories. I recently read Ender's Game: that was really good. (How cliche) The Lord of the Rings series. Seriously, it's brilliant. Harry Potter, it's like crack, except that it's Harry Potter. The Strange case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Frankenstein is also very good; I dare say chilling. I have been known to enjoy the poetry of William Carlos Williams: "I have eaten/the plums/that were in/the icebox/and which/you were probably/saving/for breakfast/Forgive me/they were delicious/so sweet/and so cold" Brilliant.

Heroes:

I love my family: Wally, Miriam, Nathan and Kristy. Now I have a niece, but let's be honest here, she's not even two yet, she hasn't been alive long enough to really earn my respect. What has she REALLY done for me? I've mentioned alot of people above and alot of them would fulfill the role of hero, so, read everything above for an idea of who my heroes are. and Bill Murray. And Wes Anderson. and Les Moonvest the homeless man that stands outside of CBS...

My Blog

Commercial Auditions...

I realized today just how awesome and strange it is to go to commercial auditions. Today I had to dance in my underwear on camera for a part in a commercial advertising the fun of Nevada Water. At w...
Posted by The Matt Key on Tue, 19 Jun 2007 05:27:00 PST

Cool Dream

Okay, so, last night, I had the coolest dream ever. I'm a Jedi, and I'm with Qui-Gon Jinn (so I'm like Obi Wan), and for some reason, we had to defend Hogwarts. I have NO idea where this came from e...
Posted by The Matt Key on Mon, 04 Jun 2007 10:42:00 PST

Dark Energy what!? Interesting.

It sounds crazy, but as the universe expands faster and faster, it will eventually get to a point where the cosmos seen through a telescope will look a lot smaller than today, say physicists.  T...
Posted by The Matt Key on Wed, 23 May 2007 04:30:00 PST

My Desperado salute to Orpheus

Today, I got bored of writing at my computer, so I start digging through some old papers that I've done in the past and I came across this paper that I did my Junior year.  It's not so much a pap...
Posted by The Matt Key on Tue, 01 May 2007 01:08:00 PST

South Park the Movie

    My Roommate Benj recently secured for me a copy of the "South Park: The Movie" Soundtrack.  I have listened to it thoroughly and have wittled down my two favorite lines from th...
Posted by The Matt Key on Tue, 01 May 2007 04:35:00 PST

Alliterative movie summary for Batman Begins

So, I was doing some house cleaningn and came across a movie summary I did for the Movie "Batman Begins", which I loved.  The catch is that ALMOST every word alliterates with the word that follow...
Posted by The Matt Key on Sat, 28 Apr 2007 06:47:00 PST

A fortress known only as Fort Unclematt

I have recently been shown the doors to the nation of Uncle and I have walked through them.  And by that strangely worded sentence I mean that the ocean of life has brought my ship to the shores ...
Posted by The Matt Key on Sat, 21 Oct 2006 03:21:00 PST

The Hammers of Grammar!

Is anyone else out there excited when they get to use semi-colons or colons?  I get SO pumped when I get to utilize those under utilized masters of the sentence.  They tame independent ...
Posted by The Matt Key on Thu, 07 Sep 2006 05:17:00 PST

Scooter

What's everyone think about me getting a scooter?  I'm trying to cut down on my costs every month and if I were to get rid of my car and exclusively drive a scooter, I'd save myself at LEAST $350...
Posted by The Matt Key on Wed, 06 Sep 2006 01:21:00 PST

Tyrannosaurus boobs

I noticed today, when using a public toilet, why I am so uncomfortable.  I mean, aside from the fact that I am kind of making myself vulnerable in front of guys that I do not know, I realized tha...
Posted by The Matt Key on Thu, 31 Aug 2006 10:30:00 PST