I am a peruvian who came to this country in love with a charming man and with a lot of dreams and illusions. I found out I was in an abusive relationship the moment I started volunteering for an organization that helps women in abusive relationships. Unbelievable! "Me? Suffering from domestic violence?? Naaaa cannot be possible. I come from a good family and a private school back home. I must be a horrible person to the point where I provoked my husband to yell at me and hit me!"-I used to think. I never thought this could happen to me. I almost got myself killed! I don't want anybodyelse to suffer what I did.
This is the reason why I want to get the word out there to prevent other women. Spread the word and save a life!
I fell in love with a guy than meant the world to me. He was funny, sweet and got me a lot of gifts. I took him to visit my country, my family and my friends. I married him. I always tried my best to make him happy. when we started living together, I did not realize that he was trying to make me think the way he wanted. Nothing I did was good enough for him. He started controlling me. When I was in my country, he called me at least once a day and if I did not pick up the phone he would get mad at me. He would start yelling at me when I would do things my way. I believed every name he called me. I started disappering as a person. When someone asked me when was the first time he hit me. I had forgotten so many episodes. I still shake when I remember that he slammed my head against a car seat. I did not realize what he was doing to me. I thought it was my fault and he made me believe that I had an explosive character and attitude. I lost myself. It was not until my ex- husband was choking me that I hit rock bottom. In that moment, I saw something flying around the ceiling of the room. It was like dark shadows looking at me.I thought I was going to die. I was very afraid. I manage to get out of that situation, but I refused to believe my husband could do such things. Thanks to counseling and my friends I learnt otherwise and I left that relationship. I thank God for giving me strength to call 911 after he left the house when he punched me in the arm. I did not press charges against him becuase I loved him. I did not want him to go to jail, but the police did. I was surprise of all that. Now, I wish I had. After all the therapy and empowering counseling I went through, I can now say it out loud that I too am a survivor and that I wish this never happens to anybody else and that this will become my fight untill the end of my days. No one deserve this! I am growing strong everyday and I am alive. It is true. It feels weird to sit down and type this, but I hope this will help someone going through the same situation. My advise to you: I learnt in a domestic violence training that men who admit to their aggresive behaviour are most likely to change, but there is no guarantee. A saying in my country: A man who hits a woman never changes. Just get counseling and help as soon as you can. Your life and the one of your children might be at risk.
Please use this page to spread the word about this serious problem and feel free to give your opinion. The only way to stop domestic violence is to educate people about this disease.
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