when i was in a threesome. almost. |
my first year of university, i lived in a freak suite. i shared a bedroom with jay, a living room with 9 girls and a bathroom with 19. everyone had the same name and our kitchen was always being invad...
Posted by maryJane on Fri, 15 Aug 2008 05:57:00 PST |
princess consuela bananahammock !! |
although i was thoroughly distressed by the amount of crickets constantly roaming about my apartment, a few months into the lease i had almost stopped noticing them. i had almost become immune to the ...
Posted by maryJane on Fri, 15 Aug 2008 04:13:00 PST |
theremin |
'i was just going to say 'no one even knew i had a sandwich in my pocket this whole time !!'' -- ryan of the octopus project (( proudly revealing a half eaten subway sandwich from t...
Posted by maryJane on Thu, 14 Aug 2008 01:21:00 PST |
full body massage |
pancreas, would you like a cranberry scone with that ??
:::
my mom had taken the day off work and decided that we would each get a full body massage. while i hadn-t quite figured out if i was okay...
Posted by maryJane on Thu, 14 Aug 2008 04:21:00 PST |
SOUL TRAIN |
one of the perks of visiting my parents is their big screen cable tv.
while everyone else my age ((or for that matter, everyone else in general)) goes to vegas to feed slot machines, dress-up and obl...
Posted by maryJane on Wed, 13 Aug 2008 07:54:00 PST |
skip the sexy voice |
i-ve spent the last couple of days coughing up an assortment of my internal organs.my abs are so sore from all this heaving, i can barely move.i can-t even think about grabbing a kleenex without my si...
Posted by maryJane on Tue, 05 Aug 2008 03:20:00 PST |
before the AM coffee & pills |
bee: oh my gosh, i know you-re sick but i HAD to call you.mJ: what-s going on ??bee: someone STOLE my idea !!mJ: what ?? someone stole your idea...what did they steal ??bee: GAH. apparently some guy ...
Posted by maryJane on Tue, 05 Aug 2008 11:30:00 PST |
metallic lipstick. |
whenever i get sick, i involuntarily bite my lower lip.but not in the "im sorta nervous/i wanna be cute" way. i full out gnaw on it. and it-s gross. and i end up getting a big ol cold sore that tastes...
Posted by maryJane on Mon, 04 Aug 2008 01:33:00 PST |
idiot girls |
my favorite book in the entire world is laurie notaro-s 'the idiot girls action-adventure club.'if i were religious, this book would be my gospel. i guess since im not religious, it is my gospel....
Posted by maryJane on Sat, 02 Aug 2008 07:47:00 PST |
cervical cancer |
"i won-t draw attention to anyone, but someone isn-t doing this right."
just in case the rest of the class was wondering who he was talking aboutand because i knew that someone was me, i bust out laug...
Posted by maryJane on Sat, 02 Aug 2008 07:32:00 PST |
