Maiya profile picture

Maiya

I may not seem practical, but I'm the one you want to be stranded on a deserted island with.

About Me

Good pals and badminten give me smiling feelings. I hate electric can openers, and can't understand why they were ever born. I like fun stuff because it's cool to have good times, as long as no one gets hurt! THIS TIME. A myspace pal pointed out that I MAY "write poetry". Meanwhile laughing hard and fun stuff runs the gamut from sitting and staring to dancing hard. Don't like drowning, divorcing, car crashes, or skunk spray. But I will say, to the tune of a Dusty Springfield song, that Bosa Nova is my Casa Nova, and baby trumpets keep me from work like Sly Stone.........Jail couldn't keep me from dancing. NOW; I dig prescriptions for free, hate The Big Hotdog System, Nel Carter was cool, I want to marry argyle, but wouldn't move to Vermont to do it..on the fence about breeding, I'm not responsible for my face, sublte rummaging is a hobbie, disregardation is a way of life like a frog on a hot-plate, biznackle juice is scrumptious to my ears, I wear a truth filter that I keep forgetting about. I can SEE air. I, more about ME, I don't trust people with 2 first names or a beard. I collect cats and padded hangers.

My Interests

Hanging out and doing whatever with sushi, sake, music, pillows, hard and soft things, cats, the back of my eye lids, COLLOQUIALISMS, back-flips, black flips, writing a book one post-it note at a time, dancing, wrestling, Tylenol PM, climbing, scaling, one decent good convo a day for God's sake man!, pondering, getting dressed when I don't have to and vice versa, watching, white cats, white animals, Kenny Rogers, cute people, things, or animals, RESTitution, holding, Howdy Doody time, walking, secrets, peanut butter, Portuguese, dreaming, San Sebastian, souvinirs I CAN USE, placentas, and eye contact, broad shoulders, best friends, and brown.

I'd like to meet:

Sushi dinner, Bruce Campbell. BBQ sauce. A pencil sharpener. WHY ISN'T THERE A FAVORITE ANIMALS CATEGORY?! Well, since you asked; I love octopuses, bats, kinkajus, NARWHALS, linxs, porcupines, rhinos, SEAHORSES, occelots, platipi, Peter Sellers, and people who can fly, my sailboat, and the perfect vacuum cleaner.

Music:

Butthole Surfers, Tom Jones (it's not unusual), Ween, Supergrass, Goldie Lookie Chain, Tom Waits, Echo & the Bunnymen, Elastica, The Pharcyde, Taj Mahal, Captain Beefheart, Dolly Parton, Sly Stone, Zapp & Roger, Bone Thugs & Harmony, Hot Chip, Dr. Octagon, Neil Diamond, Queens of the Stone Age, Buddy Guy, Black Heart Procession, Subtle, Earlimart, Stereolab, Groovie Goolies, Cream, Subsonics, Hot Snakes, The Babysitters, Stevie Wonder, CAN, Yma Sumac, Brown Lead, Wolfgang Press, Kanye West, DEVO, The Billy Nayer Show, D.J. Shadow, T. Rex, B.B. King, Schooly D, Harry Nillson, Frank Black, Quarter Flash, Hall and Oats, Martha Davis, Gnarls Barkley, B-Lite, Wall of VooDoo, Welldiggers' Banquet, The Cranes, "The Final Countdown" by Europe, Metallica, David Cross, and all the uszees (Beatles, David Bowie, Johnny Cash, and other dead greats, etc.).

Movies:

Hot Fuzz, IDIOCRACY, M, Buckeroo Banzai, The Man with Two Brains, Young Frankenstien, Firecracker, Utopia, Broadway Danny Rose, Dia de la Beastia, Bitter Moon, Harvey, Brazil, Kung Fu Hustle, Anchor Man, The American Astronaut, Shaun of the Dead, The Professional, Moving, Good Burger, Ginger Snaps, Rhinestone, Repo Man, Maximum Overdrive, They Live, Smokey and the Bandit, Logan's Run, About Schmidt, Same Time Next Year, Time Bandits, Roadside Prophets, Silent Night Deadly Night 2, Rubin and Ed, The Last Unicorn, Southlander, Shakes the Clown, Manhunter, Highlander, Cinderfella, Some Like it Hot, The Blob, Grey Gardens, Shadows and Fog, Naked Lunch, Metropolis, Blazing Saddles...And then, of course, theres the ones that ruined my life (why isn't there a catagory for that?); Sybil, Amityville House Horror, Excalibur, The Fall of the House of Usher, The Medusa Syndrome, Creep Show, Phantasm, Mephisto Waltz, Something Wicked This Way Comes, Altered States, Ghost Dad, etc....Ghost Dad, starring Bill Cosby, taught me that once you walk out of a movie at a theater the first time, there's no turning back. It's very empowering actually. But IF you've never done it yer apt to sit thru a shitty waste of time just like you've always done, cus you paid for it. In some cases (Low Down Dirty Shame e.g.) the movie should be paying you. Alot of people even rationalise that while they're sitting there, getting their money's worth of eye, ear, and psyche polution, that "atleast I may be avoiding an accident on the road right now". However, once you've walked out on one movie, you'll do it again. Rant over. I will say that Ghost Dad was the 2nd movie playing in a double feature, for the $3?, or the likes...the first film being The Professional, which I loved, AND I also love Bill Cosby so I gave it a chance..for a few minutes. I still love you Bill Cosby.Case closed.

Television:

STELLA, Mr. Show, The Office (UK), and now The Office US, anything with David Cross or Bob Odenkirk, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Chapelle Show, The Muppet Show, Alf, Strangers with Candy, Reno911, Popeye, The Smurfs, G.I. Joe, Larry Sanders, M.A.S.H., Quincy, The Transformers, The Avengers, Young Ones, Awsometown, Barnaby Jones, Kung Fu, Get Smart, Danger Mouse, SC TV, Barney Miller, Forensic Files, Rockford Files, and most visual files.

Books:

Rowland Emett, Kahlil Gibran, Clive Barker, Edgar Cayce, C.S. Lewis, Jane Roberts, Shakti Gawain, Dr. Suess, Edgar Allen Poe, Herman Hesse, Sharon Caulder, anonymous author of The Devils' Playground, Lonely Planet Guides, maps, atlas's, Thomas Guide, phonebooks, and other major clue providers, and such, or what not.

Heroes:

Lou Ferrigno, Camille Rose Garcia, Rudy Ray Moore, Dominoe, Stewy, Mertz, Ricky the nurse, Madelyn Khan, Emilio Estevez, Sis- although I don't like her while I love her, Rex, Rusty, Harold Lloyd, Markle, Morba, Minky, Wolfgang, Josephine Baker, Stan Laurel, Steve Marten, Bob Newhart, Jim Brown, Gibby Hanes, Martha Davis, Gilbert Godfried, MomInger Pave, Tim Biskup, the guy I saw on the Montel Williams' show the other day* who's leg was eaten off by a shark, Erol Flynn, The Batpeople, Vincent Price, Dolly Parton, some pregnant woman I saw crossing the street the other day*, Andrewvious, Dorothy Parker, Heironymous Bosch, Basil Rathbone, Phil Hartman, Ginger Adams, Gene Wilder, and lately my dad.*"the other day"* could mean a year ago or more

My Blog

When I am hungry....

I realize that when Pat Benatar sang "Love is a Battlefield" she had never met my kitchen. I suppose She was drafted in to her position by virtue of sheer talent, whereas I actually enrolled for this ...
Posted by Maiya on Sun, 07 Jan 2007 07:25:00 PST

MY NEW BAND!

My new band is called The Solicitors. Check us out!
Posted by Maiya on Wed, 11 Oct 2006 01:51:00 PST

8.07.06, a poem?

Exciting mediocraty is so inviting, stimulating routines are what I mean,when I compare Sunday kind of loveto Saturday nights' fleeting dreams,as a sober smile comes out of hiding.
Posted by Maiya on Tue, 08 Aug 2006 04:05:00 PST

Most annoying people/things are injured.

I learned this from a scratched DVD that was pissing me off to the point of cursing at the inanimate object because it kept skipping. When I finally stomped across the room to eject it, turn it over a...
Posted by Maiya on Fri, 26 May 2006 08:17:00 PST

Last night I ate pizza with chopsticks...

which proved my lazyness behind doing almost anything to avoid washing dishes, specifically silverware was completely moronic and cancelled out by the almost athletic and timely challenge to get food ...
Posted by Maiya on Fri, 26 May 2006 08:05:00 PST

"You can never have to many allies in this life."

Time waster-energy chasers need not apply to a wanted mind. Bullshit begets bullshit.
Posted by Maiya on Tue, 23 May 2006 11:49:00 PST

Fact

When I am misleading it's mutual.
Posted by Maiya on Fri, 19 May 2006 02:12:00 PST

I left my wallet is Escondido.

Every lost purse should come with a boomerang like Debbie and Bobby.Gotta get it. Got got ta get it.
Posted by Maiya on Tue, 16 May 2006 12:51:00 PST

Mercury poisoning...

I was born with it.
Posted by Maiya on Fri, 12 May 2006 11:55:00 PST

2 of Diamonds

duece pentacles 
Posted by Maiya on Thu, 11 May 2006 12:10:00 PST