Eliza

......Yeah, well my name is Dana Elizabeth. Try calling me Eliza. My true friends know I roll with that one! Liz works, but only if you've got dark hair, light eyes and drive me wild! Remember. You don't own this page. You're a guest at myspace, unless your name is Tom, so ACT LIKE IT. Keep you shoes off the furniture and your grubby hands off my stuff!!!!!!!!!!!A few weird sarcastic totally false pieces of information that you are dying to know/FYI:?Contrary to popular belief, I do not get paid to sit around in basements naked drinking whiskey and Bud while posing for amateur photographers. I do that type of stuff in my spare time ONLY, and do not share any of those documented photographs.?Johnny Knoxville is not my husband. He is my secret lover. And he'll totally deny it if you ask him so don't bother... And Dominic Purcell (Lincoln Burrows) from Prison Break is number 2 on my list.?I do not have a choking fetish. That is just savage... Unless I am doing the choking, in which case I have to say, that's totally fun.?I am not a body builder... Period.?I do not know who Fluffy is, nor do I know about the children that she claims to have bore with me. She is crazy! And if she tries to tell you any different, please call my lawyer.?I am NOT a swinger. And really, even if I was, I wouldn't be advertising that sort of thing here. That's what your mom’s myspace is for.?I don't really stalk people. Who has time for REAL stalking when there is myspace? Perfect for cyber-stalking.?I can read and spell. I really can. Somtimes I even spell then read.?I am not a parent... Again, regardless of what Fluffy says. *EDIT* I had to change my parent status on here because I was getting too many e-mails about what a MILF I am and asking to see pictures of my non-existent children. I am ashamed of the little buggers! Why would I want to post pictures of the ugly bastards?!?I am not against hearing others speak, and I do like opinions... But whatever you’ve been led to believe, you’re wrong and I am right. Period!.?I do not have a big right foot. I have a small left testicle... In a jar on my nightstand. It's not mine, I'm just borrowing it until I can afford my own.?And lastly, I am not a Gangsta Rap Artist. I mean, it's a cute thought, but really... Isn't it a bit insulting to the real "gangstas" to put me in the same category? I mean, don't get me wrong, I have logged my time in on the streets and all, but I am still a girlie-girl .................................................The shit that gets on my nerves: (well some of it anyway) • Guys that walk around the gym with their little notebooks.. um hi! If u have time to doodle in between your sets, YOU’RE NOT WORKING HARD ENOUGH • Girls that try to get picked up in the gym; yea, lets wear a push up bra under a sports bra and pretend like we’re running really hard • Guys that moan during their whole set; if u can’t put up the weight, don’t let the whole gym know about it • Guys that pop their collar… enough said • Fat girls giving me weight loss advice… (that includes overweight trainers) • I strongly believe that girls who want to wear thongs should be pre-approved; one chick almost made my friend rethink heterosexuality.. the poor kid is scared for life (thanks alex) • People who smoke after doing cardio… at least wait till you’re off the treadmill • Guys who can’t handle their alcohol.. and puke into my shoe after a beer.. u know who u are • People that try to analyze me.. after taking ONE psychology class… good luck with that • Uggs… especially when they’re paired with a short skirt, messy hair and a hat… it looks like you fucked a trucker the night before • People that have known me for ages but still butcher my name • People who DON’T know me but insist on calling me by my nicknames anyway • Fake smiles… what the fuck is the point of that? People know you’re faking it and they feel like shit and you just end up looking constipated anyway • Girls that fake having a “baby voice”… hey Butter, you’re not fooling anyone • People at Starbucks that pretend to care… just giving me my coffee • Fake designer bags... and girls who try to pimp them off as real ones! Coach is spelled with a C sweetheart • Guys that have “quick and witty” sayings on their shirts:like ‘future billionaire’ and ‘remember my name you’ll be screaming it later’ I actually saw a guy with a shirt that said ‘brad pitt’. How about wearing a shirt that states your current status: not getting any… ever! • Guys who request to add me with no picture in their profile but insist they'll e-mail it to me. Dude if you can't post a pic you're either running from the law or you're cheating on your wife, either way, you're a total loser!!! • And why do girls with busted ass feet insist on wearing flip flops all year round? Leave that shit at home. • And finally, those guys who stop to goggle my pics and don't take time to vote:Thanks! ------------ I'm a LOVER and a FIGHTER* Do not mistake my kindness for weakness because I will rock you like a hurricane if you step on my toes* *family oriented *INDEPENDENT* opinionated* responsible* professional* Aquarius* ECLECTIC * educated by hard knocks *selfless *Ride or Die BITCH!!! *addicting- you'll never want to let me go! * hyper * loud * GO-GO DANCER wanna-be!!!! *model *community activist *volunteer *FEARLESS *stubborn *confident *random ------------ ------------Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Film | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Videos | Music | Comedy | Classifieds