Jen-fleur Jordan profile picture

Jen-fleur Jordan

thekarmicwreckingball

About Me

I'm alive and I know why....
Words, words, words. That is the beginning of everything for me. Well, after I roll out of bed and manage to avoid any cat puke on the floor. And after the coffee is brewing and I've checked to make sure the world hasn't blown up. And then I've fucked around on the internet for hours eating cereal out of the box humming Phil Collins songs to myself.
I read and write voraciously but try to spy enough sun that I don't become a translucent book monger. This has worked out well lately as a apparently live in Antarctica.
Music is the very oxygen I breath. Do not be surprised to find me hauling out a loaded shotgun and going on a speaker safari if faced with Muzak,any American Idol or anyone who tours with a stylist and a Cabala coach.
Spring transforms me into a giddy idiot and I eschew the computer for outside. For a while, anyway. I go from my winter music to my summer music as storms quake the air and plants rear their beautiful heads. I splash about in the mud and giggle as the birds sing and the deer nibble on my shoelaces. Oh, the frolics squirrels and I partake in when the sun is high and the grass is limp!
My next project is as follows:
1. I shall begin by keeping one eyebrow down with one hand as I hold one up the other. Practicing this in the mirror, I can detect the correct muscle movement to obtain my ultimate goal - one eyebrow up. 2. At some point, when the eyebrow seems confident, I will try the raise sans hands!u 3. I will practice. And I will practice until I can, very much like those I most admire, get the brow up when desired. 4. Then all will be impressed and awed as I arch my way through life, as nature intended.
Look for me here as well:
  • Human Under Construction
  • an open forum of politics, penis stories, cuteness buffers, oddities and occasional rants. The world can seem a bleak place but just by being human and recognizing that humanity in others we can make a difference.
  • Crimespree Magazine
  • where I am the short fiction and special features editor.
  • EXPLETIVE DELETED
  • an anthology based on the word f**k and all it's glorious connotations. Never fear words. It's sequel, SLOPPY SECONDS, will appear magically this fall. STIRRING UP A STORM in which my story erotic story, "Bitter Kiss" appears.
    Try the BEST MySpace Editor and MySpace Backgrounds at MySpace Toolbox !

    My Interests

    As I breath my last I hope to be evolving, learning and laughing my proverbial ass off. My heart is a bumper car, my mind is a knight errant and my soul is a buffet with a brand new spit guard. Teach me, hold my hand, ask anything of me- just don't stay up too late waiting for me to come to bed.

    I'd like to meet:

    With the exception of deeply sociopathic people, everybody.

    Music:

    There is no true way to list it all but: Air, And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead, Arcade Fire, Architecture in Helsinki, Ass Ponys, Autour de Lucie, Bat for Lashes, the Bathers, Beck, Ben Folds, The Bird and the Bee, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Blonde Redhead, Brian Eno, Broken Social Scene, Brother, The Blue Nile, Bryan Scary and the Shredding Tears, Cary Brothers, Butthole Surfers, Cat Power, Chicks on Speed, The Clash, Cortney Tildwell, Cowboy Junkies, Craig Armstrong, The Cramps, The Czars, Damien Rice, David Sylvian, Dayna Kurtz, The Delgados, Devotchka, Dread Zeppelin, Dresden Dolls, Drive by Truckers, Echobelly, Ed Harcourt, Eels, Ella Guru, Elliot Smith, Emmylou Harris, Faultline, Feist, Flaming Lips, Frank Black, the Fratellis, Fuck, dEUS, Golden Smog, Goldfrapp, Gordon Hanley, Gravenhurst, Iggy Pop, Jacob Golden, Jane's Addiction, Jeff Buckely, Jet, Jim White, Joanna Newsom, Jolie Holland, Joseph Arthur, Josh Rouse, Kate Bush, Keane, The Kills, Lucinda Williams, Lullaby for the Working Masses, Massive Attack, Martha Wainwright, Mew, Muddy Waters, My Morning Jacket, MyPollux, The National, Neil Diamond, Neil Young, NIN, Noir Desir, Nonesuch Records, Les Nubians, Okkervil River, Patti Smith, P.J. Harvey, Pink Floyd, The Pogues, Primus, Rage Against the Machine, Ravi Shankar, Red House Painters, Rufus Wainwright, Ryan Adams, Sam Phillips, Sarah Lee Guthrie and Johnny Irion, The Shins, Sia, Sigur Ros, Sixteen Horsepower, Snow Patrol, Smog, Spain, Sufjan Stevens, the Stooges, Sun Kil Moon, Talk Talk, Tegan and Sara, Teddy Thompson, The Thrills, Tom Waits, Tori Amos, The Unicorns, Whiskeytown, Willie Nelson, Wolves, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Yo la Tengo, X

    Movies:

    No. Not really. Well, some."Empire of the Sun""Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead""Delicatessen"Yes. Those are movies."Buckaroo Bonsai""Amelie"Yes. I watch movies."Idiocracy""Gas, Food, Lodging"

    Television:

    If feverish or insomniac, the T.V. might be on. Otherwise, nope.Um... have enjoyed Black Books.And Family Guy.But, for the most part, television is like mental/spiritual Quaaludes.

    Books:

    I will be adding a billion more writers but as of this moment: Absinthe:New European Writing, Sherman Alexie, Akashic Books, Brian Azzarello, John Baker, J.G. Ballard, Ray Banks, Clive Barker, Donald Barthelme, Thomas Berger, Mark Billingham, Cara Black, Bleak House Books, David Bowker, Anthony Bourdain, Donari Braxton, Ken Bruen, Alafair Burke, James Lee Burke, Jan Burke, Michael Chabon, Craig Clevenger, Sean Chercover, George C. Chesbro, Mark Coggins, Reed Farrel Coleman, Michael Collins, Mark T. Conard, John Connolly, Colin Cotterill, Bill Crider, Crime Scene Scotland, Blake Crouch, Thomas Disch, Sean Doolittle, Barry Eisler, David Ellis, Warren Ellis, Maggie Estep, Neil Gaiman, John Galligan, Luiz Alfredo Garcia-Roza, William Gibson, Victor Gischler, Elizabeth Hand, Lian Hearn, Libby Fischer Hellman, Vicki Hendricks, Laura Hird, Gregg Hurwitz, Charlie Huston, Greg Iles, Graham Joyce, William Kent Krueger, Hari Kunzru, Jonathan Lethem, Thomas Lynch, Douglas Lindsey, Kelly Link, Laura Lippman, Robert Littel, Thomas Lynch, Stuart MacBride, Carlton Mellick III, Walter Moers, Alan Moore, Christopher Moore, Margaret Murphy, Stewart O'Nan, Scott Phillips, Dav Pilkey, Manuel Ramos, Cornelia Read, Kat Richardson, John Rickards, S.J. Rozan, Marcus Sakey, James Sallis, Walter Satterthwait, Will Self, Nathan Singer, Karin Slaughter, Slow Toe Publications, Keith Snyder, Soft Skull Publishing, Jerry Stahl, Jason Starr, Olen Steinhauer, Will Storr, Duane Swierczynski, Jim Thompson, Mark Timlin, H.P. Tinker, Steven Torres, Nichelle Tramble, Underground Voices Magazine, Kurt Vonnegut, Kevin Wignall, Charlie Williams. But all words I write are dedicated to Angela Carter and my father.

    Heroes:

    Anyone who has the glint of the survivor in their eyes yet retains the ability to laugh at the universe. And anyone who has the patience to deal with my Tourettic self on a continuing basis. Because, apparently, it's all about me.And Leonard Cohen.And the New Zoo Review.And Dave.

    My Blog

    Childhood Fears

    I promised once that I would reveal a fear that stayed with me well into my technically adult years (Somewhere I promised this. Quite sure). Big feet.No, I don't have big feet. They're actually quite ...
    Posted by Jen-fleur Jordan on Sun, 09 Mar 2008 09:53:00 PST

    What is "Cool?"

    "What is cool?" asked a friend after returning from a party last Saturday. She'd found herself at dinner with a group of tragically hip, twenty-something's and soon discovered her apparent "dorkiness...
    Posted by Jen-fleur Jordan on Wed, 06 Feb 2008 05:09:00 PST

    A List of Things One Would Find on an Average Day in the City

    1. People who use their car horns as door bells.2. the sound of screaming feamle casts being thourrrouly mated with (ouch).3.A lot of meaningles conversation between people who think they may know eac...
    Posted by Jen-fleur Jordan on Wed, 06 Feb 2008 06:03:00 PST

    Monday Mood

    Woke up this morning with Elmer Fudd singing David Bowie's "Let's Dance" in my head. Elmer was doing a little dance, sending out a come hither little stare from his bulbous cartoon head, his hunters h...
    Posted by Jen-fleur Jordan on Mon, 28 Jan 2008 01:01:00 PST

    "Cuz Im Gonna be Where the Lights are Shinin on Me...."

    Sometimes I just can't open my iTunes fast enough. Seriously. I need a massive dose of RAM in this second hand computer becuase the music in my head is fucking torture. Oh, great! Now I have that Jack...
    Posted by Jen-fleur Jordan on Tue, 15 Jan 2008 01:25:00 PST

    Understood

    Despite the continuous snow fall, I may well truck my way down to Chicago to find a man named "Goat" and give him the biggest smooch given to any man in the history of smooching. He reviewed my anthol...
    Posted by Jen-fleur Jordan on Sat, 15 Dec 2007 08:19:00 PST

    Stuck, I Was

    Morning.Seven glorious seconds of contentment reality kicks in. "Steeped in idiocy."This flashes through the brain eight seconds in."End of the year mental conflagration."Tatted to the end of my last ...
    Posted by Jen-fleur Jordan on Thu, 13 Dec 2007 10:46:00 PST

    Silence

    When I think of home, I think of people, not places. When I'm with them, my heart and my soul are at rest. They are my sanctuaries, my churches. It was my Florida people I went home to when ever...
    Posted by Jen-fleur Jordan on Thu, 30 Nov 2006 07:46:00 PST

    When the Pigeons Came to Town

    Sure, at first it just seemed like fun and frolics."They tickle!" people were heard to say.But these were clever pigeons. And the pigeons had purpose. A poopy purpose.No one was safe.It began with the...
    Posted by Jen-fleur Jordan on Sat, 20 Oct 2007 01:26:00 PST

    Slow Dancing with my Shadow

    Eons ago, I had an idea. An idea birthed from food poisoning and a late night editing junket but an idea nonetheless.From the moment the then title, FUCK NOIR, burst from my lips I became invested and...
    Posted by Jen-fleur Jordan on Mon, 15 Oct 2007 08:40:00 PST