Lyrics
I think I'm a wannabe dilettante, but **without** the cultured background, creativity, and talent, or I'm a spoiled trust fund brat **who lacks the trust fund** to back up my sense of entitlement.
In my delusional mind, I'm supposed to be pampered and indulged, even though everyone else knows better. Don't you know who I ***THINK*** I am?!? My time in the limelight was already over before I began.
I am comforted that there are plenty of other nascent cognoscenti who are better looking, more creative, more intelligent, and more literate; clad in little jackets and borrowed nostalgia who simply have better ideas and who are ready to take LA by storm. I’ve learned to not be afraid of losing my edge.
The Gay Ass Survey
Name: Jason El Norte
Birthday: February 21st....
Birthplace: Beautiful Huron, South Dakota!
Current Location: The City of Fallen Angels
Eye Color: Bloodshot
Hair Color: Greying and receding, with a dash of dandruff....
Height: 6'4"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Righty tighty, lefty loosie?
Your Heritage: Cracker jack!
The Shoes You Wore Today: The first pair I could find strewn on my floor that I could stuff one of my gnarly hooves into!
Your Weakness: Long division, saving money and making left-handed turns
Your Fears: Losing my job, eviction, homelessness, and the Boogie Monster..
Your Perfect Pizza: Does it make me racist to like a White Sauce Pizza? In my defense, I like it with a little Pesto and Spinach!
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Remembering to wipe from front to back, not back to front. I keep sweeping my cobwebs back into my kitchen, if you catch my drift!
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: LOL, ROFL, ROFLMAO, TTYL, BRB, PCP, LCD, MSG, HIV, ABC...easy as 1, 2, 3…as simple as do re mi...
Thoughts First Waking Up: Shit! I've overslept again!
Your Best Physical Feature: That's a tough call. I think my adult acne gives me a certain youthful joie de vie...
Your Bedtime: Whenever I lay my weary bones down for a little Siesta. Anytime I attempt a disco nap, it turns into a disco coma...
Your Most Missed Memory: The person who I used to be....
Pepsi or Coke: I don't touch the cocainessss....
MacDonalds or Burger King: I'm all for a Hot Carl 's Junior!
Single or Group Dates: Single?!? I want a double double with LOTS of cheese!
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Just Tea? What about WessonaliTEA?!?
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate? Are you trying to imply that I'm a fudge packer?
Cappuccino or Coffee: Hmm..neither are my cup of tea..
Do you Smoke: No fumarse!
Do you Swear: Do I swear to take this person, for better or worse, until death do we part, so help me God? Mmm....no thanks!
Do you Sing: I have a song in my heart and some food on my shirt..
Do you Shower Daily: I plead the fifth! It has been brought to my attention that I have, "Body Odor Issues."
Have you Been in Love: Have I ever fallen in love with someone I shouldn't've fallen in love with? Hmmm..no, not really! It all depends on your connotation of love
Do you want to go to College: Been there, done that! Not again. No thanks!
Do you want to get Married: No thanks! Marriage is fucking gay! Although I'd like to get divorced from a millionaire and get half of their fortune, but I'd have to get married first. Those pesky preliminary details keep getting in the way!
Do you belive in yourself: I believe in myself, but everyone else seems to know better. Curses! My transparent facade fell apart!
Do you get Motion Sickness: I get a special sickness whenever I'm at work....
Do you think you are Attractive: Depends on what I'm attracting? It's usually static cling or dander...
Are you a Health Freak: I'm just a super freak , a super freaky! Yoww! Temptations sing!
Do you get along with your Parents: When I don't talk to them....
Do you like Thunderstorms: I prefer golden showers...
Do you play an Instrument: Do I play an instrument? I think I AM an instrument! I've often been called an obnoxious tool!
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: I've learned to lay off the Rubbing Alcohol
In the past month have you Smoked: Didn't you just ask this question?
In the past month have you been on Drugs: As Officer McGruff so eloquently sang, "Users are losers, and losers are users, So don't use drugs, don't use drugs!
In the past month have you gone on a Date: I was never big on dates. I usually prefer raisins..
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: You tell me! LA is a great big strip mall!
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Is this some allusion to interracial dating?!? I find that HIGHLY offensive!
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: No, but I'm not against sexual relations with the Japanese..
In the past month have you been on Stage: Every day. The stage setting is an office, and I'm cast as a Legal Assistant. I put the ASS in Assistant!
In the past month have you been Dumped: Have I taken a dump? Why are you so preoccupied with my bodily functions? This might require a little Freudian analysis of your caca fixation...
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: No skinny dipping. But I have a fondue set for some fat dipping! Hardee har har!
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Only time, especially MySpacing on company time!
Ever been Drunk: Drunk as a skunk!
Ever been called a Tease: I'm more into crimping versus teasing...
Ever been Beaten up: Never beaten, but I'm often either fluffed or scrambled...
Ever Shoplifted: Didn't you just ask this question earlier?
How do you want to Die: I don't know, but welcome to the jungle baby! YOU'RE GOING TO DIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I don’t want to grow up! I’m a Toys R Us Kid!
What country would you most like to Visit: I'm not sure what countries, but I've frequently visited various states of intoxication
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Preferably two eyes, although a glass eye means there is an open eye socket. The more open orifices on a body, the better! Don't knock a good skull fuck!
Favourite Hair Color: Any variety, just so long as there isn't too much dandruff in it
Short or Long Hair: Depending on where it is growing. Nose hair is pretty sexy...
Height: Any size that folds up conveniantly under my futon or in my car's trunk
Weight: Please see answer above...
Best Clothing Style: Anything that's ready to wear, baby! Pret-a-Porter!
Number of Drugs I have taken: Didn't you listen to my Officer McGruff song? Users are losers, and losers are users!
Number of CDs I own: CDs? What are those? Is that a new way to say LOL? ROFLMAO!
Number of Piercings: Only the piercing odors from my frequent anal emissions....
Number of Tattoos: I only get the lick'em stick'em kind that come in packs of Bazooka Joe bubble yum!
Number of things in my Past I Regret: For starters, I regret taking this gay ass survey!
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