Awkwardly Beautiful profile picture

Awkwardly Beautiful

*Starts Shouting*

About Me


I wanna read
And learn something new everyday...
I wanna look forward to dreams..
And cry during movies.
I wanna learn to watch snails..
And plant impossible gardens.
I wanna swing as high as I can on a swingset...by moonlight..
And hold hands while skipping down a deserted city streete late at night..
I wanna invite someone dangerous over for tea..
I wanna open up, dive in, be free..
Capture beauty on film..
And strum wire strings, to fill the air with art.
I wanna take a train ride to nowhere inperticular..
And buy things I see instores, for the simple fact that no one else wants them..
I wanna turn my balcony into a dance floor.. and sway not to music, but to the breeze instead.
I want to write love letters, addressed to no one in different languages... and cast them off the pier in empty bottles... wondering if they will ever touch anothers hand or soul...
I want to occasionally dress myself in a suit and tie, and have you think me as handsome rather then odd.
I wanna have thoughtful converstations over hot chocolate at 2 am..
I want to some nights be able to make passionate love, after an evening of (sometimes) discreet teasing and touching while in pudlic places..
While other nights I want to be able to just in and take comfort in knowing that you find closeness of our bodies intimacy enough.
I wanna believe in magic..
And pretend I'm 4 years old agian..
And other times I wanna be mature and cautions..
But most of all.. I want to stop holding my breath..
As if i'm waiting for you to come and understand it all.
I wanna find that someone .
I wanna share all of these things with that someone...
But the question is my dear...
...are you ready...
LiteFastThanSond on AIM
.. ..

My Interests

I am interested in whatever anyone has to show me. Painting, drawing, reading READING, writing, WRITING, movies. I love movies. tea, Djarum Blacks, coffee, coffee houses, sushi, poetry, film festivals, supernatural shit, classic novels, piano music with wine, lofts with brick walls and hard wood floors, dreds, tattoos, piercings, body art. Johnny Depp, porn, sharpie markers, pictures and photo, big cities and small towns, trains, cornfields, wild flowers, finger paint, beer and cheescake, WWII, and Vietnam. Watching snow fall, and playing in the rain, making out in the back cooler at my old work. Kissing in public, and caressing in private. Guitars, sitars and drums.

I'd like to meet:

Someone to play in the puddles with.
Which Trainspotting Character Are You?
You are Sally! You are the voice of reason, but it
seems nobody listens. You try and save the day
but end up getting saved. Hey, at least you
Jack right?

Which Nightmare Before Christmas Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Music:


Deftones, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Radiohead, The Color Green, The Doors, Jimi Hendrix, Cranberries. Oasis, Bush, Smashing Pumpkins, The Pixies, Tori Amos, Matchbox 20, The Faint, Reggie and the Full effect, The Subhumans, Ramones, New End Original, early Korn, Peaches, Placebo, Postal Service, Rasputina, Biff Naked, Ladytron, diesleboy, frankie bones, The Cars, The Who, old U2, Glassjaw, Goldfinger, Goldfrapp, Coyote Shivers, PJ Harvey, Ani when in the mood, L7, Hole, The Breeders, Babes in Toyland, Rancid, NOfX, Collective Soul, Counting Crows, Eve 6, Sade. I like early 90s music the most. But I will listen to anything once.

Movies:

Empire Records, Closer, Edward Scissorhands, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Donnie Darko. Beetlejuice. Big Fish. Sideways. What Dreams May Come. Natural Born Killers. Pumpkin, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Boondock Saints, A Dirty Shame, Sordid Lives, Crash, Matchstick Men, Pool Hall Junkies, The Outsiders, Adaptation, Pulp Fiction, Igby Goes Down, House of 1,000 Corpses, The Devils Rejects, The Shape of Things. The Libertine. Lord of War. Sleepy Hollow. Monkey Bone. Ready to Rumble, Drop Dead Fred, Little Monsters, Princess Bride, Death to Smoochy, American Beauty, Waking Life, My new Best Friend, Mean Girls, Dancer in the Dark, The Dreamers, My own Private Idaho, Kill Bill 1 and 2, The Reflecting Skin, Party Monster, Trainspotting, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Breakfast Club, Social Misfits, The New Guy, Quills, High art, Prey for Rock and Roll, Reality Bites, Adams Family, Seven, Lost and Dilarious, Reqrium for a Dream, Spun, Girl, Secretary, Fight Club, Prozac Nation, Grandma's Boy, Velvet Goldmine, Call Girl 6,. Thank You for Smoking, Girl, Interrupted. The United States of Leland, Dodgeball, Old School, Clay Pegions, Return to Pardise, The smokers. Pink flamingos. Desperate living. . Psycho beach party.. Rules of attraction. May. Thirteen. Identity.. My own private Idaho. Rocky Horror picture show. Amelie. . Audition Transamerica Thumbsucker The whale and the squid The Royal Tenenbaums
You Are Ani Difranco!
Honest, real, and well liked.
You're not limited by any boundaries.
"And you can call me crazy
But I think you're as lazy as white paint on the wall" Who's Your Inner Rock Chick? of movies.

Television:

Old X-Files episodes, Undressed when it was still on, DeGrassie, just because I said so. The Simpons, Titus, when it was still on. Why do all great shows get cancelled?

Books:

Maldoror, Flowers of Evil, Our lady of the Flowers, Walk two moons, Catcher in the Rye, War Boy, Prozac Nation, Bell Jar, Lottery, Desperation, Memroies of a Beatnik, Foxfire, Naked Lunch, Valley of the Dolls, Night, Drolls, Keeping you a Secret, Alice in Wonderland, fight Club, Red Tent, Flowers in the Attic, Sybil, A Seperate Peace, Walden, Grims Fairy Tales, I could go on forever.

Heroes:

In my generation, we have to be our own heroes.
you are the "I hate you so bad" happy
bunny. You hate everyone and eveything and your
not ashamed of it.

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

My Blog

I don't care what they, I'm in love with you....

Well, this is killing me. I am goin back home to Chicago in a few days. I have no idea how long I will be there...I have no idea if I am coming back.I am in the same place I was a few months ago and t...
Posted by Awkwardly Beautiful on Sun, 12 Oct 2008 04:10:00 PST

Slow Motion

Miss Jones taught me english But I think I just shot her son 'Cause he owed me money With a bullet in the chest you can not run Now he's bleeding in a vacant lot The one in the summer where we used to...
Posted by Awkwardly Beautiful on Thu, 31 Jul 2008 12:24:00 PST

Scared...

   I have been thinking for the past week about all the options I have and I had no idea what I was going to do. But then I called Ryan and told him I was scared to move back down there. All...
Posted by Awkwardly Beautiful on Thu, 24 Jul 2008 11:21:00 PST

Load up on drugs, bring your friends....

Reconnecting with friends from the past.      I have been lost  in more ways than one lately. And talking to the people of  my past was an idea that I didn't think was in...
Posted by Awkwardly Beautiful on Sat, 31 May 2008 10:22:00 PST

Livid

      My life has come full circle once again.  Mike was arrested and isn't getting out. I don't know how to handle losing a best friend. This is why I don't get close to...
Posted by Awkwardly Beautiful on Sat, 10 Nov 2007 12:30:00 PST

Songs for some of my Ex’s

Josie(Not an Ex) Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with meAnd dear my love, haven't you longed to be freeI can't keep pretending that I don't even know youAnd at sweet night, you are my ownTake m...
Posted by Awkwardly Beautiful on Fri, 31 Aug 2007 06:26:00 PST

For Amy...

I just wanted to say thank you Amy. You have been such a help these past few weeks. I miss you like hell and can't wait til I can see you again. Start planning Amybug, this summer you will see Chicag...
Posted by Awkwardly Beautiful on Fri, 31 Aug 2007 05:17:00 PST

Pride....

God, I can't even explain how amazing Pride was. I didn't even want to go but I had the best day in about a year, not to mention the best Pride ever, I got 4 girls numbers, met the coolest guy ev...
Posted by Awkwardly Beautiful on Wed, 27 Jun 2007 09:51:00 PST

In the summer time....

Josie is moving the rest of her shit into my place as we speak...I'M SO EXCITED!!!!! We also have Kelsey living with us right now and Josies kind of stand offish about it, but who could blame her... B...
Posted by Awkwardly Beautiful on Sat, 09 Jun 2007 03:11:00 PST

Every time they touch me...

I give up....
Posted by Awkwardly Beautiful on Sat, 05 May 2007 07:21:00 PST