I'm smooth like hot butter flowing through your angst-filled bowels. I've got self loathing down to a science and can teach a class on melancholic, woeful indifference. Come be my pupil. Sit on Tad's knee and prepare to be schooled...
The Best Myspace Survey
* . . About You . . *
Eye Color:: Azure blue
Hair Color:: Golden Wheat
Height:: 6'3"
Favorite Color:: Burnt Sienna
Screen Name:: Taddy Daddy
Favorite Band:: Right Said Fred
Favorite Movie:: Robocop 3
Favorite Show:: MacGyver
Your Car:: Tad-mobile
Your Hometown:: Van Nuys, CA (sing it, bitches!)
Your Present Town:: Los Angeles
Your Crushes First Name:: Chuck Norris
Your Grade:: 3rd (hey, I'm slow, ok?)
Your Style:: Gigolo smooth
* . . Have You Ever . . *
Sat on your rooftop?: Your mom's rooftop
Kissed someone in the rain?: It's raining Tad! Sure I have.
Danced in a public place?: Nude
Smiled for no reason?: Smile, why?
Laughed so hard you cried?: Laughing is for the weak
Peed your pants after age 8?: I'm peeing them right now.
Written a song?: Ever heard "My balls are Full and Frothy"? that's mine.
Sang to someone for no reason?: My balls
Performed on a stage?: Does my bed count?
Talked to someone you don't know?: I know everyone
Gone out of your way to befriend someone?: Don't you know who I am?
Made out in a theatre?: Home run, baby.
Gone roller skating since 8th grade?: With your mom.
Been in love?: What's love got to do with it?
* . . Who was the last person to . . *
Say HI to you?: Myself.
Tell you, I love you?: Myself.
Kiss you?: Myself.
Hug you?: Myself.
Tell you BYE?: Myself.
Write you a note?: Uh, that would be me reminding me how great I am.
Take your photo?: Myself. Have you seen me?
Call your cell phone?: Natalia and Mary, my sweet ladies are hooked
Buy you something?: Chuck Woolery bought me a riding crop.
Go with you to the movies?: Mary and Natalia
Sing to you?: Mary sings "Welecome to the Jungle" while I prounce around in my Jaguar costume and nip at Natalia's heels.
Write a poem about you?: Natalia
Text message you?: Mary
Touch you?: Myself
* . . What's the last . . *
Time you laughed?: Right now. At you.
Time you cried?: My bowels are weeping as I write this.
Movie you watched?: Weekend at Bernies
Joke you told?: Knock Knock. Who's there? My heavy balls. My heavy balls who? My heavy balls who are resting on your chin! Hah! Get it!?!
Song you've sang?: Do ya think I'm Sexy?
Time you've looked at the clock?: Now. I'm filled with malcontent and ennui. So much so you'd think I was French.
Drink you've had?: Absynthe. What? Mary makes me drink it.
Number you've dialed?: 867-5309 Jenny's one of favorite ladies.
Book you've read?: Dummies guide to being smart
Food you've eaten?: Celery
Flavor of gum chewed?: My own flavor "Tads Nad's"
Shoes you've worn?: Penny Loafers. Does that make me gay?
Store you've been in?: Abercrombie. Duh.
Thing you've said?: This won't hurt too bad...
* . . Can You . . *
Write with both hands?: Only when the other one is tied up by some crazy bitch I picked up at a bar a few hours earlier.
Whistle?: With more orifices than you can imagine.
Blow a bubble?: " " (see above)
Roll your tounge in a circle?: HOw do you think I got my nickname "The Holy Roller".
Cross your eyes?: Yes, I feel dirty now.
Touch your tounge to your nose?: that's not all I can touch it, too...
Dance?: Feel my chi? Those are my salsa hips.
Gleek?: Totally, man.
Stay up a whole night without sleep?: Have you met me?
Speak a different language?: Eich Haisse liebracase mit zemf.
Impersonate someone?: People impersonate me.
Prank call people?: Did someone order cream of some yun-guy?
Make a card pyramid?: I live in one.
Cook anything?: Aside from trouble? Well, I make a mean bundt cake.
* . . Finish The Line . . *
If i were a ...: Jaguar I'd hunt prey and tap some female Jags
I wish ...: I could feel something more than nothing.
So many people don't know that ...: I have a soul. I just keep it hidden beneath layers of woeful indifferance and rock hard abs.
I am ...: a Sexy Beast.
My heart is ...: heavy with carnal desires and lustful visions of David Hasselhorse in red speedos.
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You've been totally Bzoink*d
