Jumping out from behind gravestones & shouting "BOO!!!!" at complete strangers, hanging upside down from stately beams, dancing the blaque fantastic in the moonlight, wining, dining & subliming with wraithlike courtesy, collecting coffin nails, watching grainy old sepia movies of Victorian autopsies, listening to ancient crackly '68's in the dark...& currently planning world domination via an art gallery near you. It's time for a touch of OBLITERRRRRRATION!!!!!!!!
I AM RIP CRUNCHER, I eat babies & old ladies and I'm also the worlds first vampire Derby County fanatic...so don't go giving me any bullshit about it after midnight okay ????
You won't make it back to the parking lot....
I'd like to meet:
YOU obviously...But on my own terms and preferably when the sun dips below the horizon. My work keeps me erm..hidden during the daylight y'see...maybe we can chew over old and new times soon?. Who else ? oh yes...Nanny Worrall, I'd like to meet him again...he's the creative urban terrorist who (unwittingly) brought me back to life...he'll pay. Who else ?...Oooh Suzi Quatro singing 'Devil Gate Drive' in her tight black leathers back in '73, Jane Merrow in her 60's prime and I wouldn't mind meeting Selma Hayek for a half time pie at Pride Park either...damn it, I forgot - she's a Forest fan....
But remember this , my new friend of the midnight hour...."DEATH IS THE DARK BACKING A MIRROR NEEDS IF WE ARE TO SEE ANYTHING..."
~ SAUL BELLOW.
Wanna come visit RIP to see if that's true ?....(***WARNING***IF YOU AIN'T A FRIEND OF MY BELOVED ANCIENT CRONES AT 'THE ORGAN' THEN PREPARE TO BE CRUUUUNNNNNNNCHHHHHHHHED!!!!!!!!)
Music:
STRANGLERS, Motorhead, Dark Ambient, The Pistols, Dylan , Witchery, The Fall, SLUDGE , The Head Cat, Fairport Convention , Der Beatles, Warrior Soul, Elvis , Jane's Addiction, Funkadelic/Parliament & George Clinton , Destruction , early early before you were born beardy Weird E.L.O, The Cunts , Eliza Carthy , Vashti Bunyan , Dumpy & his Nuts, ENO , Jake Thackray , Viking Skull , The Goodies , Joni Mitchell , Cathedral , Porno For Pyro's, Trouble, Hawkwind, The Banana Splits, Sinatra, Ennio Morricone, John Barry, Johnny Cash, The Cramps, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Adam & his Ants , Jean Michel Jarre, Phil Spector, Dave Lee Roth , early Saxon, Jack Nitzsche, Patsy Cline, Bjork, The Chameleons, Throwing Muses, Cocteau Twins, Tank, Jesus and Mary Chain, The Damned, Love/Hate, The Cure, Slayer, The Cult, The Beach Boys, Woody Guthrie, Iron Maiden, Tenpole, Dead Can Dance, Black Sabbath, Sisters of Mercy, The (black) Shadows, Kirsty McCall , The Verve, Duane Eddy, Budd/Eno, Manowar, Mazzy Star, David Bowie, Hanoi Rocks, The Catherine Wheel, The Pink Floyd, Ark, Peter Hammill, Overkill, Echo and The Bunnymen, Early dirty, filthy slut Motley Crue , Miranda Sex Garden, Pentangle, The Shaggs, Glenn Campbell, The UK Subs, The Vapors, Deep Purple, Kate Bush, LOW, The 'fuck you, you silly twat' why are you reading this shit band... Darkly English Folk , Dirty English Punk, diabolical English Midlands Lemmy , fucked up scouring pad N.M.A & a huge dosage of crusty ABBA. And who knows WHAT else today hah ? Nobody other than my own creative 'raids' or THE ORGAN have shown me ANYTHING recently to shock me anymore...& who's got the balls to try and pigeonhole me anyway ? As long as it crawls up my spine and gives me an emotional orgasm I'm not fussy...And who told you I was interested in music in the first place ? WHO!!..I hate the stuff. Bad for you...gives you backache & tinitus.
But everything from Baroque Motorhead to thrash-core Mozart'll do for nowish ~( just about sums up 'CARDIACS' if you ask me...) & everything else in between beginning with the letter 'I'nspiring...
And there STILL ain't no fuckin' sleep 'til Hammersmith...
Movies:
Freaks/The Devil Doll (1932), Young Frankenstein , The Pit and the Pendulum, The Midwich Cuckoo's, Taxi Driver, The Abominable Dr. Phibes, 'Salems Lot, The Filth & the Fury, Aguirre-Wrath Of God, Vampyres in Venice, Alice/Little Otik (Jan Svankmajer), Natural Born Killers, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, Tommy, The Shining...Oh you know...anything that'll keep me in the dark for a couple of hours....
Television:
Suckateesucks doesn't it ? Don't you wanna f****g choke ? The last T.V I watched landed on Damien Hirsts' stupid, empty, predictable head when I threw it out of my 3rd floor workshop window...and it bounced.
Books:
Currently bending the Cruncher shelf are :
The Holy Bible, 'HIS WAY': The Brian Clough Story by Pat Murphy, Kinski Uncut ~ The autobiography of Klaus Kinski , Helter Skelter by Vincent Bugliosi, A Razor for a Goat by Elliot Rose, Occult Reich by J.H.Brennan, The Family by Ed Sanders, Apocalypse Culture by Adam Parfrey, The Myth of the Magus by E.M. Butler, Death Trip by Johnny Satan, 'Without Conscience':Manson in his own words by Charles Manson with Nuel Emmons, The Trial of Gilles de Rais by George Bataille, The Unauthorised Biography of Kenneth Anger by Bill Landis, The Crystal tablet of Set by Michael Aquino, & The life and Legacy of Reginald Perrin by Richard Webber & right now 'A Multitude of Sins' the autobiobraphy ~ By Hugh Cornwell.
Oh, and Suzi Perry's 2007 Calender shoot portfolio...VERY toothsome. Pity she's a Wolves fan...
Heroes:
Other than the late greats Klaus Kinski, Sam Kinison and Brian Clough (All of whom I had the ball trembling honour to meet...and THAT takes something I can assure you ) I've no time for heroes. I've bumped into all manner of 'so called heroes' in my life & the old maxim about meeting them is 100% true...they suck huge dolloping amounts of tortoise dick...After Kinski, Screaming Sam & Old Big 'Ead they're all tosswipes...
Meet ME instead, it's cheaper...
