bad touch profile picture

bad touch

here i dreamt i was an architect...

About Me

i lost on jeopardy, baby. i eat david hasselhoff-o's for breakfast. the a-team rescued my cat from a shoetree. i like reading, writing, acting, making art, all those prissy things we do to make ourselves seem interesting and intellectual. i sometimes make inappropriate faces and noises when i think people are looking at me. somehow i seem to be most inspired by artists who have committed suicide. i own a suzanne somers' thigh-master. i rarely fart. pooping is awesome. i like girls who don't get along very well with other girls. i like boys cuz i can swear and grab my crotch in front of them and they will accept me as one of their own. i've had a lot of jobs. janitor. nude model. window maker. bar wench. barista. actor. wreath maker. book pusher. truck stop waitress. candy striper. robot. hooters girl. assassin. hall monitor. girlfriend. my new catch phrase is "suck my duck," and i would very much like to bring cheese curds to the east coast. i should also mention that i'm rad and exceedingly humble.

My Interests

i read a lot. cuz i like it. i write a lot. i want to travel tomorrow. i like acting, but i'm also really lazy. yoga & pilates make me bendy and that makes me trendy. knitting, sewing, collaging: i'm crafty, i get around. shooting stick, drawing naked chicks, dancing 'til i'm all glisteny, bikini carwash, writing the story of my life, stalking crispin glover. coffee and cigarettes. my boyfriend says i should have my own talk show. hmmm.....

I'd like to meet:

your mom...unless your mom is dead...in which case, this is just plain awkward...so...yeah...real sorry about your mom, dude. ......

Music:

.. pumpkins, elliott smith, heatmiser, bowie, velvet underground, nico, shins, sleater-kinney, secret stars, t-rex, 13th floor elevators, my bloody valentine, goldfrapp, nada surf, nathan, vashti bunyan, jose gonzales, joanna newsom, sonic youth, nina nastasia, iron and wine, mojave 3, slowdive, low, angels of light, devendra banhart, antony and the johnsons, beulah, coco rosie, peter gabriel, shellac, neko case, mogwai, quasi, radiohead, camera obscura, soup dragons, suzanne vega, afghan whigs, jesse sykes and the sweet hereafter, andrew bird, faith no more, lovage, neutral milk hotel, ani difranco, ricky nelson, big black, joy division, new order, jim white, bright eyes, tori amos, cyndi lauper, zepellin, pavement, steve malkmus, flaming lips, sunny day real estate, belle & sebastian, django reinhardt, black rebel motorcycle club, the go, cap'n jazz, slumber party, sigur ros, ramones, tom waits, hayden, blonde redhead, the smiths, danzig, luna, modest mouse, mazzy star, hope sandoval and the warm inventions, fugazi, electric six, hendrix, chet baker, nina simone, stereolab, dinosaur jr., portishead, billie holiday, blur, david gray, gorillaz, 10.000 maniacs, built to spill, yeah yeah yeahs, walkmen, decemberists, mc paul barman, autumn defense, laura veirs, waterboys, aimee mann, pixies, cure, clash, talking heads, david byrne, leonard cohen, jayhawks, john lennon, bob dylan, holly golightly, remy zero, bjork, johnny cash, ryan adams, neil young, gillian welch, dungen, vic chesnutt, jawbreaker, nick cave & the bad seeds, meat puppets, screaming trees, nirvana, pearl jam, whipping boy, mel gibson and the pants, brian eno, kings of convenience, juliana hatfield, henryk gorecki, kristin hersh, grant lee buffalo, kent, elastica, cat power, neil halstead, poison, motley crue, coldplay's parachutes (their only good album), what used to be weezer (what the fuck happened, rivers, you fucking fuck?), most 90s seattle grunge (the real shit, not the bastard music that came out of it), any and all doo-wop, the list goes on and on!

Movies:

david lynch is my dream lover... .. jarmusch, wes anderson, lars von trier, romero, linklater, fritz lang, cassavetes, todd solondz, rebecca miller, polanski, gilliam, coen bros, michael moore, sam raimi, spike jonze, jeunet & caro, kubrick, noah baumbach, david fincher, christopher guest, alexander payne, woody allen, early wes craven; little otik, high fidelity, madmax trilogy, goodnight and good luck, kiss kiss bang bang, the matador, freeway, straw dogs, american nightmare, battle royale, children of men, strangers with candy, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, tristram shandy, spider, donnie darko, secretary, security colorado, little miss sunshine, the conversation, shoah, singles, willard, thx 1138, fright night, texas chainsaw massacre (original), tin drum, triplets of belleville, barfly, the great escape, midnight cowboy, she-devil, run lola run, the yes men, buffalo 66, byrne's true stories, lost boys, closet land, mccabe & mrs. miller, box of moonlight, the pawnbroker, my name is ivan, dog day afternoon, seven beauties, pootie tang, ox-bow incident, easy rider, bonnie & clyde, young adam, the machinist, batman begins, superman 1 & 2, kill bill (both volumes), french kiss, ghostbusters, solaris, secrets and lies, punch drunk love, bartleby, crumb, american splendor, henry: portrait of a serial killer, chinatown, nosferatu, national lampoon's vacation, lost in translation, CQ, high plains drifter, spinal tap, the 'burbs, closer, saving grace, groundhog day, brick, almost all noir, anything from something weird, and anything B horror! DEATH TO M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN (artistically, of course)

Television:

..kids in the hall, strangers with candy, wonder showzen, space ghost, upright citizens brigade, mr. show, seinfeld, the soup, simpsons, office (both), extras, arrested development, big love, jeopardy, daily show, friends, sealab 2021, aqua teen hunger force, curb your enthusiasm, league of gentlemen, twin peaks, my so-called life, cheers, fishing with john, ben stiller show, cold case files, tom goes to the mayor, tim and eric awesome show great job, project runway, tales from the darkside, tales from the crypt, original twilight zone, aeon flux, reading rainbow, dr. who, freaks and geeks, family guy, it's always sunny in philadelphia (like seinfeld on crack), V the Final Battle

Books:

currently reading: to air is human by bjorn turoque.......hanrahan (by hunter hugh gross), electric kool-aid acid test, the camera my mother gave me, tropic of capricorn, old school, our band could be your life, the death of innocents, i like you, if chins could kill, running with scissors, civilwarland in bad decline, perfume, confederacy of dunces, geek love, 1984, princess bride, prozac nation, early grrrl, good omens, demian, cows (by matthew stokoe), end of alice, nadja, story of the eye, wasp factory, waiting, hells angels, lolita, house of leaves, psycho, unbearable lightness of being, a carnivore's inquiry, rabbit run, in the miso soup, konfidenz, lord of the flies, the white hotel, regeneration, towelhead, my happy life, outlaw bible of american poetry, angelhead, inner circle, random family, touching from a distance, the eden express, chick-lit (collected post-feminism short fiction), a demon in my view, the collector, jeanette winterson (inventor and perfecter of poetic prose), sylvia plath, yeats, adrienne rich, sartre, eugene ionesco, r. crumb, roald dahl, magnus mills, don delillo, kathy acker, shirley jackson, pinter, beckett, michel foucault, anne sexton, poe, edward gorey, lovecraft, jt leroy, anais nin, dorothy parker, colette, emily dickinson, gunter grass, francine prose, lorrie moore, robert creeley, ginsberg, w. s. burroughs, terry southern, shakespeare, kerouac, vonnegut, tom robbins, bukowski; and saving the best for last: richard brautigan

Heroes:

iona gross, loretta imhoff, my fam, sarah silverman, jeanette winterson, cindy sherman, hope atherton, sylvia plath, betti page, amy sedaris, soul sista krista, my girls anj and brooklyn, and the two most perfect dudes ever: hunter gross and mike spano