Melissa

I'd like to meet:

People who can read. Cause, well, you'd have to be able to read to read all of this to be reading it. Unless of course, you're just looking at all the pictures and not really reading. Of course, you would have to be able to make out letters to put the URL in to get to this website. And then you'd have to do a search or browse around to find me in the first place. But then again, I like visuals too because I don't like ordering from food places that don't have pictures. I get confused by the Taco Bell menu because I didn't take Spanish class. I took German for two years and then Latin for three years in high school and then in college I took French for a semester, but I didn't have that certain 'gen eh say qua' as the case may be so I looked like a complete idiot saying 'Gee em apple Melissa' (all pronounced phonetically, well, except for my name 'Melissa' because I know how to pronounce that and it's not French anyway). So instead of a language, I took this stupid film class about Auteurs and Film Theory right after my non-mandatory gym class in which I would get all worked up and perpetually fall asleep in the film class but that was an okay semester because I only had to go to school maybe three days a week and I didn't have to start classes until, at the earliest, 12PM. And the days that I didn't have school, I worked at this tobacco shop where I began to associate cigarettes with their smokers - the dirty, old men smoked Winstons, the art-nouveau jerks smoked Gauloises, the Puerto Rican kids that hit on me bought Phillies Blunts, and every rich hippie smoked American Spirits. And all of that didn't really help me get any useful knowledge out of life. But all of this combined helped me work toward getting my film certificate which is synonymous with 'a piece of nothing' or 'toilet paper' but I don't know the French way to say either of those anyway so it's all really not important anymore. How'd this turn around to be something about me again instead of who I'd like to meet? I guess I'm self-involved. I apologize.

Actually, I just want to meet hot men who are nice to me. Yes, that's it.

Music:

Dinosaur Jr, Ted Leo/Rx, The Descendents, JR Ewing, Portraits of Past, Hot Snakes, Shellac, Drive Like Jehu, Party of Helicopters, The Swirlies, Built to Spill, Jawbox, Sun Kil Moon, Oxes, In Flames, Sepultura, Bolt Thrower, Napalm Death, Alice Donut....now I just listen to talk radio :(

Movies:

Hellraiser I and II (oftentimes IV, sometimes III, rarely ever V or VI, and never ever VII or VIII), Spaceballs, Audition, City of Lost Children, Delicatessan, Shark Attack 3: Megalodon, Alice (Svankmajer), Versus, Ichi the Killer.

Television:

Kids in the Hall, Home Movies, Tales from the Darkside, Tales from The Crypt, Monsters, Twilight Zone [1980s], Freddy's Nightmares, Friday the 13th: The Series, Amazing Stories, Sledge Hammer!, Police Squad!, Jeopardy!, most shows with punctuation in the title.

Books:

George Saunders, Etgar Keret, Russell Banks, Tobias Wolff, and Franz Kafka...are all not books.

The Elements of Style, The Associated Press Stylebook and Libel Manual, various and sundry editions of the dictionary, my anally collected Preacher comics, ANSWER Me! and 10 years worth of Bizarre Magazine.

And 'The Disappearance: A Memoir of Loss' by Genevieve Jurgensen makes for some light Sunday reading...

Heroes:

Ted Leo, Ira Glass, Leslie Nielsen, David Rasche, Phil Collins, J Mascis (always and forever).