My Life As A Sexy, Schizoid Single

About Me

Stick me with a label and I will peel it off, shove me in a box and I will soon break out, relate to me on a certain level and I will tempt you further, copy my confessions and (if you must) hide them in a drawer, uncover my secret pleasures and find there are 11,000 more, think too much of me and I will ask you to leave...think too little and we both flirt with fear, ask me to love and I will waver but ask me to write and it will draw you in - the nuances, the quirks, the little moments we will share until you and I are beating, blistering as one

My Interests

Life. Pass the pleasure please.

I'd like to meet:

Since the inception of this blog, I am officially pleased to meet narcissistic playboys, MySpace addicts and "add me" whores, kindred souls and playful spirits, locals prone to childish behavior and acts of stupidity, angels who will save me in the 11th hour, lost loves and love-me-nots, left-behinds turned lesbians, reality show junkies who tend to read, drunken writers with a penchant for over-expressive phrases, sarcastic musicians who soak their lyrics in sweetness, those who feel lost in a crowd and embraced on the Internet, single women who respond with "so what?", the divine and divinely insane, people who "have it all together" and enjoy laughing at "those who don't".

And those who understand without further explanation...

Amber Hartley: Intellectual Essays

JimmyNovel.com

Environmental Organizations

Music:

Songs that let me know what it feels like to fall in love (or fall in general). People who put into music what I can only put into words. Lyrics that remind me of madness and its maddeningly addictive quality.

Movies:

Films where a woman will kick a guy's ass before she kisses him. The ones wise enough to blend this line between fantasy and fact. Any story that tortures moviegoers with chance meetings and unrequited love...

Television:

Why watch images in a box when you can experience the real thing?

Books:

I'm a literary junkie, I'll take a hit of anything.

Heroes:

Anyone with the guts to add "extra" to ordinary. My name is Amber Hartley, and I am pleased to meet your acquaintance...

My Blog

Film Noir for the Femme Fatale

Based upon a true party... Part I. Saturday night. Somewhere in the city... Silver dollars and silky jazz. The neon lights of Fat Cat Jazz Club spread over the sidewalk and painted pale letters...
Posted by My Life As A Sexy, Schizoid Single on Thu, 10 Aug 2006 01:37:00 PST

Trust Me, I'm a Professional

Hold very still is a hard order to follow when someone's about to shoot your eye, even if it's just a blast of air. See, my eyes are very sensitive and they don't like getting hit with anything, let a...
Posted by My Life As A Sexy, Schizoid Single on Mon, 07 Aug 2006 03:14:00 PST

I Am Not Myself These Days - Introducing A New York Times Bestselling Author

Okay party people, here is the interview you've all been waiting for. "But how can that be?" you ask, "because this special guest was kept a secret." It's all in the details, but right now I...
Posted by My Life As A Sexy, Schizoid Single on Mon, 05 Jun 2006 02:14:00 PST

Death, You Are My Bitch Lover!

Alcohol and intelligence don't mix. Use that in a don't drink campaign if you like (or randomly insert into any conversation) because a confession penned in drunkenness is like dancing on the tab...
Posted by My Life As A Sexy, Schizoid Single on Tue, 30 May 2006 02:51:00 PST

Must I Prove That I Am Worthy?

I posted this on my other site awhile back so some of you have read it. However, a friend reminded me of it this weekend during a party, in the midst of an intense conversation on the state of humanit...
Posted by My Life As A Sexy, Schizoid Single on Wed, 24 May 2006 05:02:00 PST

Market Me, Baby! (preferably, au natural)

I love organic. Tonight I boiled my first batch of organic macaroni and cheese, and although the butter was full of corporate-bred chemicals, the overall experience was rather gritty and back to the b...
Posted by My Life As A Sexy, Schizoid Single on Fri, 19 May 2006 12:06:00 PST

The Power of Paint and a Good Tall Tale

I have perfect parents. But how can that be? you say, Because we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of god (or rather, didn't they vote for Bush in not one, but two, elections?). Yes, there...
Posted by My Life As A Sexy, Schizoid Single on Wed, 10 May 2006 02:01:00 PST

This Blog Cost Me $165

Whoever said information is free hasn't met my blog. I say this because tonight, while taking out the trash, an overwhelming sense of transportation terror overtook me. In that moment, I knew so...
Posted by My Life As A Sexy, Schizoid Single on Sat, 06 May 2006 01:11:00 PST

The Lovely Nuances of Shizoid Love...

Disclaimer: Do I expect you - a busy individual with a myriad of other distractions and delicious vices - to read this rather long and somewhat ordinary blog, or any personal ...
Posted by My Life As A Sexy, Schizoid Single on Fri, 05 May 2006 03:33:00 PST

Horror By Means Of Hollywood

Horror isn't what it used to be. This comes from the cocky mouth of a virgin horror fan, considering my childhood experiment with horror lasted for approximately 3 hours (namely, two nights of blood a...
Posted by My Life As A Sexy, Schizoid Single on Sat, 29 Apr 2006 03:22:00 PST