The three men that make up Stealer come from the darkest places on earth, who by coincidence met up at a seminary while training to become priests of the Catholic Church. Inbetween bouts of self-loathing, doubt and mutual masturbation they decided that they did not have what it takes to serve God, and all took jobs at petrol stations and chip shops. Dissatisfied at the modern methods of self-service at such establishments alienated them further.
Then inspiration struck the trio of misfits, when a flying Stooges album hit Pete in the head from a moving vehicle. I now know what we have to do, he proclaimed mopping the blood from his gaping head wound and the tears from his distraught friends eyes. They then set off to purchase instruments, grasping to make sense of the new lust for life that fate had dealt them.
It's at this point they met the person who would change their lives forever. A mystic, some might say a shaman of sorts, Brother Hector. A one eyed hermaphrodite eskimo lesbian, whose distorted view of the world intrigued and appalled the trio equally. After a harrowing initiation ceremony during which they were forced to sever their genitilia from their bodies, they were ready to undertake the duties given to them by Brother Hector.
The last challenge Brother Hector said was to complete the circle of pain. Taking them to Madam Tussauds, he told them that the waxwork model of Barbara Windsor held all of the answers to the questions that perplexed the civilisation of the world. After a prolonged battle with the security guards which resulted in a huge amount of carnage and bloodshed, the waxwork was theirs. they then took it to the summit of Mount Everest and burned until it was a pool of holy wax. Brother Hector told them they had to eat the disgusting mixture of glass eyes and prosthetic internal organs that lay before them. When all of the remains had passed through their own digestive systems, they were named Stealer by the holy magus Brother Hector.
Go forth bringing love and hate to the world, with the use of distortion and passion, leave no stone unturned in your quest for the salvation of Rock and Roll, and ultimately, the world.
