Johnny Alien profile picture

Johnny Alien

It's a sad and beautiful world . . .

About Me

Sometimes I think about the taste of human flesh . . . . Sometimes I like chocolate.
Your Famous Last Words Will Be:
"So, you're a cannibal." What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?
On Average, You Would Sell Out For
$1,098,572 At What Price Would You Sell Out?
Get this video and more at MySpace.com Get Your Own Voice Player Manage
Click to zoom in on my visitor map! You can also make your own!

My Interests

My two boys Jake and Connor, my girlfriend Sarah, my mountain bike, my cult, writing, voodoo shrines, The Virgin de Guadalupe, outsider art, gambling, general debauchery, Chili cook-offs, Menudo, Korean Barbecue, Pho, Chicago Style Hot Dogs and other epicurean delights.test

I'd like to meet:

Lou Reed, Dali Llama, Muhammad Ali, Barry Bonds, Salmon Rushdie, Phil Hendrie, Jack Herrer, Boots Riley, Vincent Gallo, John Lurie, Cormac McCarthy, The Pope, Tom Robbins, Christina Ricci, Sabrina Williams, Gus Fink, R. Crumb, Barry Gifford, Harry Crews, Billy Graham, Charles Manson, Joe R. Lansdale, a suicide bomber, a porn star, a snake handler, a president, an alien.

Music:

Lou Reed, Tom Waits, Curtis Mayfield, James Brown, Aretha, Stevie Wonder, Morphine, Eric B. & Rakim, The Coup, Kool Keith, P-Funk, The Meters, SLy, Chuck Berry, Stones, Dusty Springfield, Van the Man, Os Mutantes, FRANK ZAPPA, War, Elvis, and on and on and on . . .

Movies:

Apocalypse Now, Pulp Fiction, Do the Right Thing, Magnolia, Palookaville, True Grit, Catch-22, China Town, The Godfather, City of God, The In-Laws, Amores Perros, Kung Fu Hustle, The Hustler, The Big Lebowski, Bubba-Ho-Tep, Baxter, King of Comedy, Fargo, Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?, Taxi Driver, Big Hustle in Little China..

Television:

Hawaii Five-0, What's Happening, cooking shows, sports, Simpsons, Jeopardy

Books:

Child of God (Cormac McCarthy), East of Eden (John Steinbeck), Cat and Mouse (Gunter Grass), The Satanic Verses (Salman Rushdie), anything by Italo Calvino, The Collected Works of Flannery O'Connor, anything by Barry Gifford, Catch-22 (Joseph Heller), Moby Dick (Herman Melville), Pulp (Charles Bukowski), Where the Wild Things Are (Max Sendak), Feast of Snakes (Harry Crews), Jitterbug Perfume (Tom Robbins), A Good Baby (Leon Rooke), Magic Mountain (Thomas Mann) Lucky Darryl (Bill Knott & James Tate). . .

Heroes:

My Mom and Dad, Jesus, Buddah, Satan (just the idea, not the dude with the pitchfork),Mr. Rodgers, Robin Hood (just the idea, not the dude with the tights and the bow and arrow), Fat Albert

My Blog

A new ending

Stupor too quicky surrenders to sobriety as Will peers over the edge of the embankment to the gutter below, a shimmering dark ribbon alive with water. The gutter. The perfect analogy for his current...
Posted by Johnny Alien on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:50:00 PST

Curly’s Cold Cunt Combo Blues as sung to me by Curly (based on an embellished true story)

Chorus sung to the tune of Cowboy by Kid RockThis is the story of the end.The end of me and my girl friend Pancetta.I always knew she was crazy.Maybe it was the twenty-four seven drug cocktail.Maybe i...
Posted by Johnny Alien on Sat, 29 Mar 2008 10:55:00 PST

Katie Courics Finger

Did you guys see Katie Couric's finger last night?It looked like a prepubescent penis pointing at a super high tech desktop computer screen, pointing at numbers and letter, graphs, colors. It was dazz...
Posted by Johnny Alien on Wed, 06 Feb 2008 12:25:00 PST

Ciagrette Jones Blues Day 4

I smoked my first cigarette when I was 14.  At an all boys boarding school in San Jose, California with a girl named Debbie in a darkened racquetball court in the winter time.  Well, actuall...
Posted by Johnny Alien on Sun, 06 Jan 2008 11:07:00 PST

Cigarette Jones Blues Day 3

I used to work in hospitality.  I used to throw parties at a really swanky resort in a shi-shi little village off the coast of a gloriously rugged coastline.  Really extravagant to dos that ...
Posted by Johnny Alien on Sat, 05 Jan 2008 11:28:00 PST

Cigarette Jones Blues Day 2

I quit smoking on New Years Day.I've quit before.Sometime last year for about 30 days.It was cool, not smoking, but I missed the smoking. Missed it bad.When people would ask me how it was going with ...
Posted by Johnny Alien on Fri, 04 Jan 2008 11:54:00 PST

Oh no! They tagged me, Cisco! Suck the poision from the wound . . .

Here are the rules as they were described to me. Feel free to break them as rules are in fact, by Christ's command, made to be broken. Once you have been tagged, write a blog with 10 weird, random th...
Posted by Johnny Alien on Thu, 08 Nov 2007 10:32:00 PST

The truth behind Match.com et al.

...
Posted by Johnny Alien on Wed, 16 May 2007 12:38:00 PST

Jerry we hardly knew ye!

To some of you this may come as very sad news, to others it may be joyous reason for celebration. Jerry Falwell has died. He has been called up to the bosom of his holy father where he will be able...
Posted by Johnny Alien on Tue, 15 May 2007 12:49:00 PST

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

Mothers are the perfect beginning and middle and end of the miracle.HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL YOU MOTHERS AND WANNA BE MOTHERS AND SOON TO BE MOTHERS! . . . and fathers, too! ...
Posted by Johnny Alien on Sun, 13 May 2007 09:53:00 PST