**PLEASE READ** **PLEASE READ** **PLEASE READ** **PLEASE READ**All beats are 4 bills a piece. Not four hundred thousand, and not 4 million thousand gazzillion dollars, but if you act right now, I’ll sell em for a paltry "four hundred bux!" WOWWEE!!WHAT A STEEL! Act Fast! The first 100,000 callers will get additional Kick drum Oomph added to all the beats FOR FREE! WHY? because your special, and all those hurtful things your mama ever said about you was a lie! Your not a loser, and kids are not your friend because they enjoy beating you up! Come to where the love is. Cream of Beats will make things much better!
For starters, I begin cooking my beats with the finest ingredients. No dollar store spices (preset keyboard sounds) in my gourmet goodness! HELL NO! Instead, I seek out the rarest herbs (dig for records) and apply them (sample) in various amounts. Finely slicing, cube slicing, or whatever is appropriate to deliver the ultimate in freshness & taste. I, Cream of Beats, is like the Chef Ramsey (hells kitchen) of this Beatsmith schit! Most of you are rapping over Fast Food/Tv Dinner type beats and enjoying them because you don’t know any better. Sure, McDeezy’s sells burgers to billions, but that don’t mean they make the best burgers! Nahmean! Is the got-damned Big Mac really that big, or are you still foolish enough to believe it? Same with the Beats. There’s a few NICE producers out here. Try them out, not just myself and taste the difference! Your music will go from "Blah" to "WAH-WA-WEE-WEE" INSTANTANEOUSLY! Your friends will finally take you seriously! Your Mom will finally have love and conviction in her voice when she tells you to move your grown ass out the house! A&R’s will listen to you music and say, "This CD sounds "GOOD-A-RIFIC!" (good and terrific) instead of lying to your face and laughing uncontrollably when your back is turned.
Ya see, most of you need to experience something new. Have you ever seen a cat/dog eat wet food after it’s had dry food all it’s life? The get EXCITE! They so EXCITE! (Borat) They will follow you into the kitchen and chase their tail for more of the wet tasty food they’ve been missing all their life!! Try and put some dry food in the bowl now though. That same cat/dog will look at you with such a disappointed face. Almost like, "you know I deserve better than this!" Cream of Beats is the wet food to replace the dag-gone Kibbles and schits you’ve been eating all your life. You, YES YOU deserve better than the free beats you’ve been recording to all your life. You deserve more than taking the "five wack beats for $100" deals that little Rikki makes on his daddy’s office computer! When you take them tracks to the studio’s your humoring the engineers, and I DON’T LIKE THAT! I don’t like people laughing at you! It’s not right! It hurts me deep inside that people think of you as a Jester, and your material that you have collected shouldn’t be regarded as "clown like!" Your Mama didn’t raise you to be the talking subject of good humor! People shouldn’t leave you comments on your myspace page like, "sounds good, BUT LISTEN TO MY BEATS AND YOU LEAVE ME A COMMENT ABOUT MY AMAZING MUSIC!" when your purpose was for THEM to listen to YOUR music! Ahh man! That totally sucks!! It totally sucks to be when and you think your dope! It totally sucks to be on myspace all day adding people to get 300+ hits on your music page, and as soon as you take a day off, your music hits drop down to like 15! DUDE! WHAT HAPPENED?? You mean none of them half naked women you added thought about your music 24 hours after you added them?? Wow.. I want to cry for you! I really want to shed a tear!!! Thats really not great at all now is it?? You thought you were the next American Mc Idol but your deep in wack status; you just have no idea. They really don’t respect your lyrical skills, or Rikki’s beats! You have a reason to pout. Let it all out. Cry on my shoulder.
Cream of Beats is here, and FOR $400 I WILL BE YOUR BEST FRIEND. For $400, you will get my loyalty, my attention, and even a pat on the back with two cookies and a peanut for creating a song worth listening to. Together (and for $400/beat) we can do this. No Bux, No beats! HOLLA
WORD!
Cream of Beats & Black Bethoven Freestyle Homework Session. NOTHING SERIOUS!!! Just having fun with the camera.
..Cream of Beats & D.S.Sense (Another "nothing serious" session)
I edited my profile with Thomas Myspace Editor V4.4 (www.strikefile.com/myspace)
