Denis Donohue profile picture

Denis Donohue

Your Pharaoh

About Me


www.denisdonohue.com
I'm a stand up comedian and I'm fun as heck to be around... on the evenings when I can stand. I have a nose. I love gourmet food and skydiving, but not at the same time. I enjoy pretending to be sick and sneezing on people in public. Sometimes I'll stay home and watch TV or read, other times I'll go to a club and shake my "money maker" until 5am then go to a diner for flapjacks.(I love to call 'em flapjacks)It just depends on what phase of the moon we're in. Sometimes I'll ask people for directions to places I know how to get to. I once slept for 19 hours. I'm a tad gutter and a bit ghetto. I've never had a coldsore or a threesome. I tried to read the bible once, but then Iron Chef came on so I put it down. My balls smell like English leather. I love it when you can see the moon during the daytime. I like going to the U.S. Open and cheering for tennis greats that are already retired or dead. I played the trumpet for twelve years and havent picked one up in twelve years, is that now negated? I've called into radio talk shows to give "the black perspective". I can dance the oceana roll. I like road trips to nowhere. I like to get animals high. I once made my eleven year old cousin eat 16 hotdogs solely for my amusement. Three things I'm better than you at: 1) ping pong 2) cooking 3) parallel parking
I created my own profile using nUCLEArcENTURy.COM and you should too!

My Interests

"Mama stay wantin' to see her lil nacka name in light."
attention getting, fashion, shoes, high class women, alpha proximi, adventure, travel, Mets baseball, low class women, boxing, nutrition, corriander, skin care, intelligent women, the animal kingdom, cuddling & spooning, Giants football, trotters, lingerie, Rachel Stevens, oysters, Gogol Bordello, attractive women, gourmet cooking, singing, couture, lentils, Zegna, hypnosis, quirky women, arachnids, art, lamb, silent films, brie, technology, Kathy Bates, red wine, Egypt, photography, solid milk chocolate bunnies, stand up comedy, NLP, shampoos & conditioners, Red Faction II, communication, F-22's, 7 for all mankind, streams of consciousness, books, sharks, Salvatore Ferragamo, coffee, firearms, power ties, wheat grass, Girls Aloud, ping pong, Voltron, coins, the violin, shoes, birds of prey, texas hold 'em, Dp, dream analysis, boats, whistling, tennis, lighthouses, archery, the frontal lobe, lace, blackjack, cricket(darts), Jagermeister, paprika, Daler Mendhi, Orion, anthropology, twizzlers, foreign women, moist towelettes, ceiling fans, daring women, sauces & gravies, kitchens, brown rum, chinese stars, automobiles, planetariums, eggs, gregarious women, nag champa, Nelly, rain, history, sevruga caviar, maps, roses, writing, dogs, brown women, corriander, race relations, feisty women, Manu Chao, astrology, bathrooms, walking, GI Joe, fitness, mother of pearl, Pink Champagne, Double Dragon, Canali, Jar Jar Binks, aircraft carriers, open markets, Lil Kim, Off Track Betting, tomatoes,

I'd like to meet:

I prefer a woman with a nose. Someone who's on the move and going places. No fake boobs or fake anything for that matter!! A special girl, who is not afraid to vomit in front of others. A girl that can rock pigtails, jeans and high heels without looking like she's trying to rock pigtails, jeans and high heels. A girl that got through junior high school a virgin. A chick that can make a killer milkshake and then make me laugh so hard to make the aforementioned milkshake come out of my nose. A girl that's a triple threat. Someone who has an appreciation for bugs and insects! Hot ballerinas, violinists, cellists, beach volleyball players, figure skaters, and street performers. Dark eyes and dark hair don't hurt either... after all, the most beautiful women in history have had that combo.Jon Olerud.

Music:

"... then supersoak that ho!"

Movies:

The House of Flying Daggers, The English Patient, Airplane!, Rocco's True Anal Stories 9, Titanic, The Gold Rush, Jaws, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Grindhouse, Godzilla v. Megalon, Cheerleader Gangbang, Kill Bill Vol. 1, Sin City, Orca, Anchorman The Legend of Ron Burgundy, Rocky III,

Television:

The Most Extreme, The Simpsons, Megastructures, Seinfeld, National Geographic Presents, Entourage, Wild Discovery, Mystery Science Theater 3000, Iron Chef, Sabado Gigante, Modern Marvels, The Conan O'Brien Show, Jeopardy, Pants Off Dance Off, Family Guy

Books:

are good too.

Heroes:

Roman Polanski

My Blog

The Week in Rape: Volume 1 Power vs Sex

The Week in Rape is a chronicle of comedian Denis Donohue's conversations with Valentino, an admitted rapist.  Valentino is not necessarily serial but rather a self proclaimed opportunist.&n...
Posted by Denis Donohue on Wed, 03 May 2006 11:23:00 PST

The Week in Rape: Volume 2 The Psychology of Rape

The Week in Rape is a chronicle of comedian Denis Donohue's conversations with Valentino, an admitted rapist.  Valentino is not necessarily serial but rather a self proclaimed opportunist.&n...
Posted by Denis Donohue on Sun, 11 Jun 2006 09:04:00 PST

The Week in Rape: Volume 3 Chicken Statutory

 The Week in Rape is a chronicle of comedian Denis Donohue's conversations with Valentino, an admitted rapist.  Valentino is not necessarily serial but rather a self proclaimed opportun...
Posted by Denis Donohue on Thu, 18 May 2006 11:46:00 PST

The Soapbox Goes International!(2004)

Soapbox Producer Denis Donohue recently completed his tour of the UK & Ireland. The tour ended with a standing ovation at the fabled Haypenny Inn in Dublin, Ireland. While he was out there he figu...
Posted by Denis Donohue on Mon, 20 Mar 2006 12:20:00 PST