Russ Martin

With me, the fun never stops; I'm always the Life Of The Party...and I have an extensive collection of lampshades on my hat rack to prove it. I'm one of the original Baby Boomers. I was born in 1946.The guy on the news said that, this year, everybody that was born in 1946 will become a sexagenarian. I don't know what that means exactly...but I certainly like the way it sounds. Older women turn me on...especially when I see them sprawled out on the sidewalk... I never know if they want it real bad or if their walker collapsed. But...either way...it's time to pop a Viagra. Opportunity only knocks once. I wrote my first screenplay. It doesn't have much of a plot...so I guess, technically, you would have to classify it as porn. It's called "Brokeback Gerbil." It's a love story. It deals with the very intimate relationship between a nearsighted proctologist and the official mascot of the city of San Francisco. Uncle Russ's Tip Of The Day: Being successful boils down to three things: (A.) staying focused, and (3.) paying close attention to details. Uncle Russ's Tip For Tomorrow: Be happy with what you've got...but always look for more. The kids of today have a lot of superheroes, don't they? We, Baby Boomers, had our super heroes too. Most guys wanted to be Superman. Not me, I wanted to be The Flying Nun...because, in case of a rumble, I wanted God on my side. People don't dis you when The Creator is one of your homies. It broke my heart when my parents finally told me that I could never be The Flying Nun. They said it wasn't because I couldn't fly, or the fact that I was a male, not a female, it was because I was Presbyterian. Bummer, hey? Are you still reading this? Thanks.