Enlightenedpie! profile picture

Enlightenedpie!

enlightenedpie

About Me

The real challenge in life is not winning but rather losing at Tic Tac Toe.
Ha ha!!!
You Are 92% Evil
You're the most evil person you know.
The devil is even a little scared of you! How Evil Are You?

Live well, Love much, and Laugh often.


I have an active duality in my head. I am very outspoken and intense when it comes to things I'm passionate about, especially the Public's apparent contentment with the status quo. (Check out my "Interests" section to see the things I'm passionate about.) Yet, at the same time, I am a relaxed, almost too easy-going person at heart. I love to laugh and generally find humor in everything, which sometimes gets me into trouble. I mean, come on, I've got Jesus and Chuck Norris in my top friends. That should tell you something. If you wish to know more, message me.
I have nothing more to tell or sell you for the moment.
Ok, one more thing... Just remember it's not whether you live or die, it's what you would live or die for.
Natalie Portman Gangster Rap
Justin Timberlake on SNL
FotC

My Interests



The American Coalition for Ethanol
www.ethanol.org

Fairness and Accuracy In Reporting
www.fair.org

The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
www.aspca.org

The ONE Campaign
www.one.org

Oh... and a nice bottle of IZZE soda, preferably Clementine Orange.

I'd like to meet:


Some say I look like the NASCAR driver Martin Truex Jr., so I guess i'd like to meet him. I would then proceed to beat his ass down because there can only be one of me, and that's me. I also happen to think Boy George is an alien, so i'd like to meet him/her/it and tear off that silly skin costume and expose the world to Kryto, ambassador from Alpha Centauri, sent here to bestow upon the masses large quantities of disposable "new wave" pop to dumb us down to the point that their usurpation of our planet will go unnoticed. WHERE'S MY TIN FOIL HAT?

Music:



Music sucks, especially if it's yours!

I guess this would go here, since there is no 'Radio' Section. Coast to Coast AM est LE MERDE!!!!

Movies:



There was this movie once with three kids who built a space ship out of spare junkyard parts. They blasted off and got caught by an alien mothership (it just so happens that was Boy George's transport to earth, I shit you not!) and then the aliens got hooked on I Love Lucy and soda pop. I want to meet the writers and producers of this film and hit them open handed sideways cuz some bitch owes me some money for stealing my life story. ...and whoever wrote TRON had it all wrong... it was Chartreuse vs. Topaz.. GODDAMN, get the colors right!

Ouvrez vos yeux!

Television:


24

Mondays at 8pm CDT on FOX.

I wanna write a spinoff called 23 1/2, where someone actually takes a nap!

Flight of the Conchords on HBO. Check your local listings for further details.

Books:


Dr. Faustus - Christopher Marlowe
A Divine Comedy - Dante Aligheri
Anything by Zecheria Sitchin
The Elegant Universe - Brian Greene
A Theory of Relativity - Albert Einstein
The Theory of Everything - Stephen Hawking
Nothing In This Book Is True But It Is Exactly The Way Things Are - Bob Frissell
Ægypt - Aleister Crowley
Eight Lectures on Theoretical Physics - Max Planck
and last, but not least...

The "Where's Waldo?" series

Heroes:



My C7 vertebra (for always having my back), Dockers for making the best business socks your money can buy, and The Herculoids.

My Blog

Woman Lucky To Have Favorite CD On Deserted Island

Enlightenedpie - Lisa Robbins, who hails from Pedukah, KY, found herself in a favorable position yesterday when she found herself stranded on a deserted island with her favorite compact disc still in ...
Posted by Enlightenedpie! on Tue, 15 Apr 2008 05:40:00 PST

ENLIGHTENEDPIE 11/30/07

ENLIGHTENEDPIE - 11/30/07 WORLD NEWS PAC-MAN AND PAKISTAN TEAM UP TO CREATE PACMANISTANAfter a long brewing turmoil in the Pakistani government, President Pervez Musharraf announced that his governmen...
Posted by Enlightenedpie! on Mon, 03 Dec 2007 07:04:00 PST

Umm...

ENLIGHTENEDPIEThere will be no post today due to (yet another) family emergency. Stay tuned because today's post will be posted Monday. Sorry for the inconvenience. Oh, and GO COWBOYS!!!...
Posted by Enlightenedpie! on Fri, 30 Nov 2007 06:34:00 PST

Enlightenedpie: Now With Five New Flavors

Apple, Cherry, Strawberry, Pineapple and Peach. Pretty Soon, you'll be saying "That's as American as Enlightenedpie!"Starting this week, Enlightenedpie will be brought to you in a weekly format, so st...
Posted by Enlightenedpie! on Mon, 26 Nov 2007 09:59:00 PST

Gobble Gobble Bitches!!

ENLIGHTENEDPIE - Enlightenedpie is closed for the Thanksgiving Holiday, a lovely ironic holiday where we celebrate the kindness of the Native Americans, without whom the original slack-jawed, non...
Posted by Enlightenedpie! on Wed, 21 Nov 2007 06:50:00 PST

God Joins WGA Picket Line

ENLIGHTENEDPIE - God was spotted picketing in front of Paramount Studios in Los Angeles yesterday, one day after he announced in a nationwide press conference that he would. "I'm here today marching f...
Posted by Enlightenedpie! on Tue, 20 Nov 2007 07:18:00 PST

Fucking Birds: A Report

ENLIGHTENEDPIEWritten by B.J. Smegma, World Health OrganizationI get my kicks just like anyone else. I love gardening, strangling kittens, and masturbation as much as the next person. But seriously, w...
Posted by Enlightenedpie! on Mon, 19 Nov 2007 03:07:00 PST

Friday Blurbs

ENLIGHTENEDPIEKING OF SPAIN TELLS HUGO CHAVEZ 'SHUT UP'On Tuesday, Juan Carlos I, King of Spain, told Hugo Chavez, the revolutionary leader of Venezuela, to 'shut up' after Chavez kept issuing scathin...
Posted by Enlightenedpie! on Fri, 16 Nov 2007 08:38:00 PST

Hmmmm, What to do?

ENLIGHTENEDPIEYesterday, Enlightenedpie posted a blog asking you , the reader, to vote for the next featured story based on the headlines given. Shockingly, five completely different votes does not he...
Posted by Enlightenedpie! on Wed, 14 Nov 2007 06:35:00 PST

Readers Poll

ENLIGHTENEDPIEEnlightenedpie would like you, the reader, to choose the next story written. The following is a list of headlines and/or stories that are currently in the works. Please leave the on...
Posted by Enlightenedpie! on Tue, 13 Nov 2007 08:31:00 PST