Tim profile picture

Tim

ball-winning midfielder

About Me

I write poetry and then perform it wearing this grey suit I picked up a while back. It's laced with lager now and there's a rip in the seat. While I'm doing it I have this Soviet Lounge music going on in the background and I tend to drink Red Stripe because it goes with my tie. I have a cactus, cycle everywhere on a red bike I stole the same night as my yellow bike was stolen from me and my favourite cafes are Euromed on Kentish Town High Street and The Breakfast Club on D'Arblay Street. I am a non-smoker, I eat a pineapple a week and I have conversational Russian.

My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 2/23/2006
Band Members: I got some people I work with. I give Alex Horne administrative support in popular stage shows. I combine with Tom Basden, Stefarn Golaszewski and Lloyd Woolf in Cowards. I give Mark Watson medical advice and act as a crutch in his overambitious longshows. I recieve direction from Phillip Breen, Griff and Dinky Donk. I get produced by Seb Barwell and Victoria Lloyd. I get musical accompaniment by Isy Suttie and Annalie Wilson. And me and Julian Fox throw out the odd Avant Garde bonanza as Eyeball. None of this would be possible without Danny Lewis and Marty Ball.
Influences: I like these things. They are a combination of films, books, music, people and miscellaneous. Man Bites Dog, Nuts In May, A Room For Romeo Brass, Together, Short Cuts, Raymond Carver in general, Nikolai Gogol, Like A Rainbow by The Rolling Stones, The Rolling Stones, On The Waterfront, Mitch Hedberg, Ricky Gervais, AA Milne, Harold Pinter, Steve Coogan, Jessica Stevenson, Gordon Strachan, Gary Lineker, Julian Fox, a little-known Norwegian film called Elling, Reservoir Dogs, Indian food, Tommy Boyd, The Ukrainian Hula girl from The Clique, Carol Key, Henri Leconte, Arthur Smith, Chopin, The Ascent of Rum Doodle, High Noon, Irreversible, Steve Davis, Armando Iannucci, Lord of the Flies, Seinfeld, impromptu gigs, gin, Stewart Lee, the guy from Secrets and Lies who's a scaffolder, A Russian rap band called The Bricks, The Wild One, Matt Le Tissier, the golden age of British middle-distance running, Louis Theroux, Rebecca Front, the music to Sports Report, the 1987 Tour De France, Dudley Moore, toast, Regina Spektor, Chris Langham, Daniel Kharms, Zidane and Materazzi, Great Auntie Mu, Dead Man's Shoes, the Polish waitress, Steffi Graf, Marlon Brando, Jaws, Rocky, cycling in first gear so my legs are going quickly but my bike is going slowly up a slope, Of Mice and Men, Keith Houchen, Paul Collingwood, It's a Beautiful Life, Curb Your Enthusiasm, firing champagne into a crowd, canals, Robin Smith square-cutting, Buddy Holly, "David Watts" by The Kinks, Stuart Hall, my old man's homebrew, Xabi Alonso, Morphine, Jeeves & Wooster, Easy USSR volume II, Ray Mears, Jonathan Pearce, 8 Mile, The Office, Bridgette Bardot, Caroline Aherne, Steve Claridge, when Liverpool had John Aldridge, Factotum, The Shining, Dogme, Hancock, Deliverance, Jonathan Ross, Steve "The Adonis" Beaton, cryptic crosswords, The Sting, Emma Bunton, The King of Comedy and Taxi Driver.
Type of Label: None

My Blog

SLUTTING IN LONDON

This is my blog for today. First a few bits and bobs like you get in a blog. I had a meeting in the morning where I got to give out the drinks and things, then I ate some tortellini with some fri...
Posted by Tim on Wed, 28 Nov 2007 12:05:00 PST

Selling my book

Today's task: Go onto this website: www.zoo-logic.org And then buy my book. My book is divvy with 2 (two) gatefolds, lots of poems, some recipes and a comprehensive index. The point being, if no one b...
Posted by Tim on Wed, 05 Sep 2007 01:09:00 PST

Slutty Show

Hello. Thanks for "logging onto my blog". This is a "blog" telling you about my Edinburgh show. If that's not your scene then I would leave now and go and "Google yourself" or type in "boy falling ont...
Posted by Tim on Tue, 17 Jul 2007 03:11:00 PST

poem .574

The girl in the fleece And her seventy geese Lived on a farm in Ukraine. She moved to the west Got incredibly stressed And killed ninety cats with her cane....
Posted by Tim on Wed, 13 Jun 2007 02:59:00 PST

Arm .2 (and healing it)

I am now undergoing physiotherapy. I do it with a physiotherapist called Suzanne. I alternate between calling her Suzanne (with the stress on the second syllable) because that's how I thought it was p...
Posted by Tim on Tue, 29 May 2007 06:17:00 PST

poem .179

Nicola Arranged her feathers And waited for the judges. "This year" She muttered. "Please - this year"....
Posted by Tim on Tue, 29 May 2007 05:59:00 PST

Broken

Last week I broke my arm in Glasgow. I fell down off a granite bench in light drizzle and snapped my arm bone clean apart. The sensation was amazing. The two lengths of bone felt like they were s...
Posted by Tim on Thu, 18 Jan 2007 03:26:00 PST

poem .unnumbered

Ollie Webber  an also-ran middle manager - Fished a teaspoon out of his dishwasher. "Coming dear"  he bellowed to the professional sex worker in his boudoir. He slouched against the fridge  Eased s...
Posted by Tim on Mon, 11 Dec 2006 11:10:00 PST

poem .358

An elf - This short, genial looking one - Red cheeks, wispy beard - Collapsed. Because Santa had made a contraption for his back and overloaded it with presents....
Posted by Tim on Sun, 10 Dec 2006 06:15:00 PST

poem .495

FREDDIE! Freddie Flintoff  scored 155 runs! At one point he did a six, wandered up to Shane Warne and went "How did you like that you womanising shit?" Eventually he got out when Glenn McGrath did a ...
Posted by Tim on Sat, 02 Dec 2006 09:26:00 PST