Dan profile picture

Dan

About Me

Have always hated having my photo taken , even as a kid .The photo show is Loch Lomond because that is were J took me for my 45th Birthday just after I was told I was in remission from leukaemia . Presently I continue in remission . This means in betting terms I have a 70/30 chance of being alive in 12months . In real terms if it returns I hope to access a shit load of painkillers, cos it really hurts . I wish for no sorrow but feel too much that silence about it doesn't help .Flatulent and old covers my better atributes . Warped humour .Think Macs are the dogs testes .Feel lucky to have a Bug and therefore able to indulge my passion for radio plays .The Ipod then allows me to do the shopping listening to plays / audiobooks therby escaping my fellow human beings pain as they also stuggle through the experience .Having been born in London ,at thirteen I found myself living in Ireland , as my Irish Catholic parents decided to be farmers . Hated being there (1974 was a miserable time to be English and not impressed with the Roman Catholic Church , whilst educated in a small village school , ) but did not escape back to London til 25 years old . Moved North at 26 and loved it. Married at 32 however J thinks our recent experiences have sent us down differing paths so she wants a divorce . I have met only 2 real fully fledged arseholes in my life whereas I have met an amazing number of great people.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Godot , Failing that Jim Henson . Anyone with an interesting story , where they do not require to be the hero and it tells of the human condition .

My Blog

A tail of two swine

So the fate of us all ...does entwine, with those who sniff just like the swine, Cos the world needs a scare, About health we should care, and the press love a panic sometime .   ...
Posted by on Tue, 28 Apr 2009 14:30:00 GMT

Order , Order

With lackeys in tow... and the wife,Speaker Martin lives such a tough life ,Tanned by Dubai sunWhile we fund.. the funCos it's hard ..sorting Parliaments strife .So he has been off to Dubai to see if ...
Posted by on Sat, 11 Apr 2009 15:11:00 GMT

You can't always get what you want

Today Ideal day :- Give talk about brain damage Have new bed delivered Have bedroom and toilet ceiling stripped of tiles and replastered ...
Posted by on Mon, 06 Apr 2009 13:04:00 GMT

Pay the piper and Jenny's bloomers

Got a quote today for a burglar alarm system for what is going to be my new single bloke pad . For that money I would have expected it to greet me with a cup of coffee , lie to my mother over the phon...
Posted by on Sat, 04 Apr 2009 23:14:00 GMT

He would make a better door than a window

Yesterday I was used as a windbreak by a 48 girl down most the length of Northumberland Street . This in itself would have been bad enough, however when a second incident took place only hours later...
Posted by on Sat, 28 Mar 2009 18:05:00 GMT

Buy one get one free ........

So it seems if your country is poorMadonna arrives at your doorShe will buy a new kidfor a couple of quidno red tape or hassle .... for sure .Strangely when I was in Malawi 17 years ago no one tried t...
Posted by on Thu, 26 Mar 2009 14:25:00 GMT

One Hamster , One Duck and far too many randy frogs !

It seems I can now claim to have educated Colin Murray as to the position occupied by rodents in the British education system . Why then ,after delivery of the punch line did he blame me , for it ? I ...
Posted by on Sat, 14 Mar 2009 17:16:00 GMT

Sometimes the sentence makes no sence

Muntazer al-Zaidi , upset , threw a shoeThe least ,he had felt , he should doNow its three years of stirFor calling Bush&.. CurDont call that justice
Posted by on Fri, 13 Mar 2009 15:37:00 GMT

Blokes with big choppers and one with the heart of a lion.

All urban residents are used to the occasional noise of a fire engine . So as I washed up there seemed nothing alarming about the approaching doppler . Then it struck me the blue mysterons dancing on ...
Posted by on Tue, 10 Mar 2009 15:11:00 GMT

Sticks and stones

A few lines in honour of the chimp at Stockholm Zoo .Whats the cousin of Darwin to do ,As he sits in the Stockholm ZooFor he likes to break bones By the flinging large stonesNot for him.. the launchi...
Posted by on Mon, 09 Mar 2009 13:27:00 GMT