Bev Haut profile picture

Bev Haut

Tigger, please ....

About Me


Even though I’ve had to retire from the world of standup, at least I’m going out with a bit of a bang ~ check out my pics for the magazine that just hit the stands (well ... in Blockbuster stores, only in Orange County ... it’s ... uh ... free, but it IS STILL publicity, LOL). I am still very proud of it, and I am positive the writer is someone I would like to get to know better ~ we’re talking about doing a project together once Lisa returns from Israel!
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And before I retired, I got some pretty nice reviews from my mentors and others with whom I've worked:
“The first time I met Bev, I knew she was special - she's a spark of electricity … her energy and enthusiasm revs up the RPMs … with a conversational style that makes you think she’s holding court at a dinner party, inviting the audience to jump on board and share in her adventures. And whatever she's talking about is funny on a level that's simultaneously brain-cramping and knee-slapping. You will laugh, and laugh hard, and once you’ve seen her, you won’t forget the Southern ball of fire that is Bev Haut.”
Gary Cannon, comedian (“Last Call With Carson Daly”)
"Beverly Haut is a Southern Belle with a viper’s bite. Her charm warms up the audience so her wit can blindside them with a punchline. Audiences can't help but love her. She follows in the footsteps of Roseanne and Brett Butler, and is keeping up nicely – and possibly is more clever than both."
Steve Mazan, comedian and comedy guru
“Her comedy is rich with details about relationships past and present, her views on popular culture, and how she’s developed over the years. Her material and delivery take the form of a humorous narrative, where the performance seems to be as much about communicating and sharing with the audience as it is about getting big laughs.”
Erikka Innes, The Orange Coast Voice (April 2007)
I am The Green Lantern!! Green Lantern 95% Wonder Woman 82% Superman 70% Spider-Man 65% Supergirl 62% Batman 60% Catwoman 55% Iron Man 55% Robin 52% Hulk 50% The Flash 40% Sure, I'm a little hot-headed; ask around. But I also have strong will power and a good imagination. I'm powerful without your knowledge.
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz
Before I became the Green Lantern, I had a lot of other personalities. Take a look:
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My beloved cat, Bonehead, who died in my arms July 2005.
Which God or Goddess are you like? Your Result: God Zeus

You are Zeus. You are fierce and stong, and you like to throw lightning bolts at people who deserve it. You are fearless when it comes to fear, and harmless to nothing. You have the guts to take on anything and never look back. Congratulations!! You are God!!


Budha
Goddess Sekhemet
The Christian God
Jesus
Goddess Bast
Satan
You are your own God or Goddess
Which God or Goddess are you like?
Make Your Own Quiz


Myspace Layouts - Myspace Editor - Image Hosting


My Interests

Comedy, film, good television (stop laughing), reading, writing, disciplining children at the grocery store.

I'd like to meet:

George Clooney. And George Clooney. Or a clone of George Clooney. Or a fully-functioning robot of George Clooney. Or some of the hair muck from his hairbrush, really, that’s all I need. For now.

Speaking of Atlanta, here’s a photo of the tornado that went through downtown in March of 2008 ~ you can see the funnel cloud on the far left, just to the right of the tallest building:

Music:

Everything ~ seriously, *everything* ~ from James Blunt, Green Day, Incubus and Eminem to Yo Yo Ma, Itzhak Perlman and Chopin, to Elvis (The One and Only King), The Beatles and Little Feat, to Toby Keith, Tim McGraw and Gretchen Wilson. I have a non-discriminatory ear (the right one; I'm deaf in the left one).

Movies:

Far too many to list, but includes Happy Feet, GWTW (required for an Atlanta girl), The Princess Bride (I once kissed Mandy Patinkin ~ actually, he kissed me, but that's beside the point), Major League, Office Space, The Green Mile, the original Star Wars trilogy, the first Matrix, the first two Godfathers, and Loverboy (listen, Patrick Dempsey was hot even before he became Dr. McDreamy, and I knew it as soon as I saw that movie, so shut up).

Television:

Currently ~ Heroes (!!!), Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy, Iron Chef America, Doctor Who, The Daily Show/The Colber(t) Repor(t), Stargate SG-1 and My Name is Earl. Historically ~ The X-Files, Arrested Development, Profit, Buffy *and* Angel, The West Wing, Seinfeld, Friends, Ally McBeal, Chicago Hope, M*A*S*H, and anything with Red Skelton.

Books:

Pretty much anything that's been printed since the beginning of time, with particular interest in books written in English.

Heroes:

Personal ~ My husband Dave, my best friend Linda, Alan Shepard, anybody who has ever tried to help someone in need (e.g., Katrina, tsunami, 9/11), the NYFD. Industry ~ Richard Pryor, Robin Williams, Eddie Izzard, Roseanne, Lewis Black, the whole "Axis of Comedy" thing that Jon Stewart's got going on, Monty Python, and most waitresses.

My Blog

Don’t we know it’s tax day by now?

It's April 15th, folks. How many times have you been reminded today? I'm keeping an official count, but keep in mind that I normally listen to music most of the day and that today was a bit unusual. S...
Posted by Bev Haut on Tue, 15 Apr 2008 01:20:00 PST

California Sheep

After moving to California in February of 1996, I’d only had this one job for about two days. To get to Orange from Aliso Viejo, you have to take the 5 North, past lots of agri-areas. So I&rsquo...
Posted by Bev Haut on Thu, 27 Mar 2008 04:26:00 PST

Leaving Standup

Hey guys ... Some of y’all might have already heard that I’m leaving the world of standup comedy for good. It’s not a rumor; it’s true. I didn’t know it, but last Sunday ...
Posted by Bev Haut on Fri, 07 Mar 2008 09:14:00 PST

On being sick and sick of it

So I'm sitting here in the ol' flannel, honking up lung after lung, engaged in a hairball spitting contest with the cat, and I just thought I'd share with y'all how very much BEING SICK SUCKS. It suck...
Posted by Bev Haut on Wed, 03 Jan 2007 01:56:00 PST

Pythons and Izzards, O My!

Friday night, May 5th, 2006, 9PM. I'm at the Coronet Theater to see one of my comedy gods, Eddie Izzard, performing his work-in-progress.I look up, and there's Eric Idle. ERIC FUCKING IDLE! A real, li...
Posted by Bev Haut on Tue, 09 May 2006 02:22:00 PST

California Pedestrians

Seems like everybody complains about Southern California traffic. It's not the traffic that bothers me.It's the pedestrians who piss me off. They just waltz off the curb without even looking. Women, w...
Posted by Bev Haut on Fri, 31 Mar 2006 11:58:00 PST

Must .... have ... chocolate ...

I thought Dave was the chocaholic in the family. Then he went out of town for a few days. Suddenly, I could hear chocolate talking to me. "Psst .... Bev ... over here ... peanut butter M&Ms." Mind...
Posted by Bev Haut on Thu, 23 Mar 2006 10:56:00 PST

My cat hates me

I've had this cat, Hobo, for 13 years. He's totally fearless. Except for human beings and the Closet Monster (blame Hoover). Doorbell rings, he's *gone* (usually under the bed). I was the only one he'...
Posted by Bev Haut on Tue, 21 Mar 2006 02:22:00 PST

Primary Lie

For the first time in my life, I weigh less than what my driver's license says. It's been the primary lie for most of my life. When you lose your primary lie, how do you come up with a new one? Everyb...
Posted by Bev Haut on Tue, 21 Mar 2006 05:08:00 PST