Patrick DeLuca - ProfilesArchive

About Me

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Patrick DeLuca is a VERY complicated man. He is a genius of comedy but at the same time maintains a set of firm buns like a professional body builder. He looks great in pants. DeLuca will smash the shit out of a volleyball if you set it right. He can ride a bike easily.Patrick DeLuca pretty much gets to 2nd and 3rd base with girls at will...AT WILL!Patrick DeLuca hates Owen Benjamin with a passion. The fire of the devil rages inside DeLuca, he will use this fire to DOMINATE Owen Benjamin if Owen ever dares to challenge him to anything.DeLuca regularly eats 7 tacos from Taco Bell and then throws up on purpose.DeLuca is continuously drinking water and pissing. That's why his skin is fucking amazing looking and clean.It's rare for Patrick DeLuca to do anything but DOMINATE in all aspects of everything. He doubts his own death.DeLuca did 80 shots of Jack Daniels on his birthday, then drove to the airport, then flew a small charter jet full of his friends (models) to Cabo and fucked up a bouncer at Senor Frogs.DeLuca is wicked good.The following people say about DeLuca "he's definitely my best friend," - Angelina Jolie, Charles Grodin, Hulk Hogan, Willie McGee, and pornstar Pete North.DeLuca wore sandals to the Grammy Awards. When he didn't win best solo R&B album he promptly fucked up a boom operator then went to 2nd base with a female usher. Shortly after this he played a game of beach volleyball - his team won when he served 21 straight aces.

My Interests

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I'd like to meet:

Steve Gweems, Gwee Flabes, Lemlee Conquisto, Bree Flute, Thomas Olendooz, Lee Gremlinheads, Marmoset Jibbz, Troy Vlaype, Greb Rondells, Rondell Bunmen, Yort Broobs, Frote Brover

Music:

That's My Daughter, Wilco, Elliott Smith, Weezer

Movies:

Safe Men, Bottle Rocket, The Heartbreak Kid (Charles Grodin version), American Beauty, Heat, Collateral, Last of the Mohicans, Miami Vice, 40 Days of Night, Loqueesha and Verna are Residents: Lemlee is Just Our Chingy (2007)

Television:

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Arrested Development, Curb your Enthusiasm, any Hallmark Channel Movie of the Week starring Steve Guttenberg or the lady from Growing Pains who looks like a skeleton now.

Books:

A Confederacy of Dunces

Heroes:

There was a boy named Leonard on my block growing up. He got a HUGE laugh when we were in first grade in the lunchroom when the teachers turned the lights off to make us be quiet, he stood on his table and yelled "me Chinese, me play joke, me put pee pee in your coke!" The entire place lost it, huge laughs, applause, i think i saw tears of joy in some of the kids eyes. Later that year, he followed up the "me Chinese" laugh when they brought in the Salad-Bar-For-A-Day and some creepy guy was telling us all the amazing foods in the salad bar, when he breezed by the cottage cheese, young Leonard stood up on the table again and screamed "I love college cheese!" Again, huge laughs. What a genius. Later that year Leonard died from peeing his pants.

My Blog

Things that I know about you (the reader of this blog)

- You recently ate as many as three Charleston Chews at one sitting. - You kissed your pillow this morning, then whispered "I love you too." - You flexed in front of the mirror today (abs,...
Posted by Patrick DeLuca on Mon, 17 Mar 2008 05:26:00 PST

My top 7 movies of 2007 with brilliant commentary

Since the Academy has given away their awards (semi-skewed since comedies and horror movies get zero consideration) I figure I'll post my list of top movies of the last year. Many of these will ...
Posted by Patrick DeLuca on Wed, 27 Feb 2008 03:57:00 PST

How many tax dollars can be spent on Britney Spears?

So after reading that cops were called to Britney Spears' house for the third time in a couple weeks I started wondering how come that giant pothole in front of my house can't get fixed. I pay ...
Posted by Patrick DeLuca on Thu, 31 Jan 2008 02:31:00 PST

Lloyd the gentleman caller

My dad was one of like eleven kids (give or take a couple). It was hard to keep track of all of them because nobody on his side of the family seemed to want to be completely honest as to the whe...
Posted by Patrick DeLuca on Tue, 08 Jan 2008 05:26:00 PST

Ranking of BEST CANDIES

People want advice from people who have firm buns because they know that us in the firm bun club have made the RIGHT choices in life to attain said bun. Anyway, here's this week's featured quest...
Posted by Patrick DeLuca on Fri, 07 Dec 2007 04:00:00 PST

Kim Kardashians Birthday BASH!!!

Myspace has a video up right now of paparazzi coverage of Kim Kardashian's star-studded birthday party she recently threw for herself in Los Angeles. Like the rest of you, I could barely contain...
Posted by Patrick DeLuca on Thu, 25 Oct 2007 02:15:00 PST

I ruined the goulash :-(

I was talking about goulash the other day with some friends, reminiscing about the old Youth Soccer banquets at the Elks Lodge where they would serve you this hideous goulash-food and purple drink and...
Posted by Patrick DeLuca on Tue, 25 Sep 2007 02:53:00 PST

I've got a real problem with this Gargamel guy

What's up with Gargamel the Sorcerer lately? Has anyone else noticed how erratic his behavior has gotten? I'm starting to think that ole' Gargees may be getting a little cuckoo. His ...
Posted by Patrick DeLuca on Fri, 27 Jul 2007 03:53:00 PST

Summer 2007 Myspace Guidelines

Here are some basic guidelines to ensure that everyone's summer 2007 Myspacing experience is fun and most importantly SAFE! - If you absolutely MUST post a picture of yourself posing with ...
Posted by Patrick DeLuca on Thu, 17 May 2007 09:32:00 PST

I love using girl's showers

Had the privilege of showering at a girl's place this week. Wow, what an experience! Girls keep tons of great shit in their showers, various gels and creams, shampoos, conditioners, loofas...
Posted by Patrick DeLuca on Fri, 04 May 2007 02:33:00 PST