He-Man was a Man |
As many of the people who don't read this know, I am a huge fan of classic literature. He-Man is not literature it is a toy, as well as a shittily animated show. Recently, they tried to bring bac...
Posted by Swinson TV Dinners on Sun, 07 Jan 2007 10:59:00 PST |
2 Minutes into the future with Darbert Swinson |
I can see into the future. Some say I can because I'm a god, some say it is because I set my clock two minutes fast. Fuck the latter, I know my shit is as gold as a chicken pimp's beak. For example, i...
Posted by Swinson TV Dinners on Thu, 28 Dec 2006 06:17:00 PST |
First knocks allow cheap shots. |
First off I'd love to say congratulations are in order for Princess Fuckwad and Prince Wallydick because they are celebrating their tenth wedding. HOOORAHHHHHSecond, if you find my underoos please giv...
Posted by Swinson TV Dinners on Wed, 16 Aug 2006 05:27:00 PST |
Mama's Family changed the world |
Since I am an unemployed wizard, I get to watch a lot of TV. TV is my friend and lover, so dont fuckin judge me dad. I love how I can watch Hee-Haw marathons and that Jeff Foxworthy makes me near shit...
Posted by Swinson TV Dinners on Thu, 10 Aug 2006 04:15:00 PST |
History! |
Ahoy hoy! Welcome to my ongoing series of loveliness as I explore the great minds and thinkers throughout the history of time and space. Last week we looked at how a young Jerry Mathers made us wish f...
Posted by Swinson TV Dinners on Thu, 03 Aug 2006 06:38:00 PST |
Five Minutes with an Opressed Whore. |
Oh baby the world condenses when we are together. We dance to lovely salsa beats until we have one motive: Listerine. The magical juice of our Lord and Savior Mitch dances across our tongues as we mee...
Posted by Swinson TV Dinners on Fri, 28 Jul 2006 09:28:00 PST |
Midnight in the Wal-Mart of Good and Evil |
My name is Darbert I like to collect salsa packets. Now that we have that outta the way let me tell you a little secret: Wal-Mart has the best free entertainment known to man. See, the other day I was...
Posted by Swinson TV Dinners on Sun, 02 Jul 2006 08:54:00 PST |
Lady Elaine Fairchild and the Five Fingers of Death |
Sometimes...I get a feeling somebody's watching me. No, I'm not Rockwell, but I am just as manly. No, I know that a puppet, wait, a DEMON puppet has been following me around. I see her everywhere. She...
Posted by Swinson TV Dinners on Tue, 13 Jun 2006 07:32:00 PST |
Slap me a five and call me Wonky McTinkleberry. |
Well howdy how how! 'Tis a quite splendid eve in the Earthenrealm! Today I was walking out in the woods beating trees with my wizard stick, when lo and behold and I heard an mighty rustle in the bushe...
Posted by Swinson TV Dinners on Fri, 19 May 2006 06:42:00 PST |
Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket. |
Stanley Kubricks Full Metal Jacket came out in 1987, approximately fourteen years after the United States involvement in Vietnam had ceased, ending an eight-year conflict that divided the...
Posted by Swinson TV Dinners on Tue, 02 May 2006 08:58:00 PST |
