Christopher Hawkins profile picture

Christopher Hawkins

I hate a dirty joke, I do, unless it's told by someone who...knows how to tell it!

About Me

I am a horror/suspense writer from the Chicago Area. I am also an avid Dungeons and Dragons player, movie buff and Mensa member.

I could not be more dorky if I tried.

Look for my short story "The Painfully Slow Seduction of Aldus Lamb" in the anthology Shadow Regions, available now at Surreal Magazine .

Read one of my stories now for free!
Carpenter's Thumb
The Corpse on the Wall

For more information on my current and upcoming projects, visit www.christopher-hawkins.com

My Interests

Writing (novels and short stories), Reading, Roleplaying Games, Comic Books (or Graphic Novels as the literati call 'em)

I'd like to meet:

An agent who will represent my book.
Stephen King

Music:

Nick Cave, Tom Waits, Laurie Anderson, Patti Smith, Elvis Costello, Goldfrapp, Oingo Boingo, Barenaked Ladies, They Might Be Giants, Film Scores

Movies:

Star Wars (Original Trilogy), Aliens, Indiana Jones, The Godfather, Hitchcock, Miyazaki, Mamet, Tarantino, Godzilla, anything with Clint Howard or Clancy Brown in it.

Television:

Lost, Battlestar Galactica, Babylon 5, The Twilight Zone, Curb Your Enthusiasm, 24, My Name is Earl, The Office (US and UK), Doctor Who, Robot Chicken, South Park, Reno 911!, Flavor of Love (to my unending shame)

Books:

East of Eden, Atlas Shrugged, Dune, A Canticle For Leibowitz, Fight Club, High Fidelity, The Stand, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Ray Bradbury, Richard Matheson, Philip K. Dick, Lewis Carroll, J.R.R. Tolkien, Elmore Leonard, Joe R. Lansdale, Thomas Harris, Neil Gaiman, Clive Barker, Poe, H.P. Lovecraft

Heroes:

Rod Serling
Bill Hicks
Stephen Hawking
Groucho Marx
Gordon Ramsay

My Blog

Introducing LitMatch.net!

It's been a while since I've posted, and now I can finally (and quite proudly, I might add) reveal what's been keeping me away:  This week marked the launch of my new website, www.litmatch.net! &...
Posted by Christopher Hawkins on Fri, 07 Sep 2007 07:18:00 PST

Drowning China, Drowning America

The story is a familiar one, an object lesson in population growth:  "If you were to line up all the people in China and march them into the ocean, one by one, you would never run out of Chinese ...
Posted by Christopher Hawkins on Thu, 14 Jun 2007 08:56:00 PST

Lyndon Larouche Gave Me Mumps: A Tale of a Misspent Afternoon

There's something about people begging for money on street corners that's always set me on edge.  I'm not talking about homeless people, or anyone in direct need of hand-to-mouth help to get them...
Posted by Christopher Hawkins on Thu, 31 May 2007 08:35:00 PST

A Long-Delayed Update...

A particularly nasty respiratory bug has laid me low for the better part of a month. But, thanks to heroic doses of the various Quils, Feds and Tussins, I'm back among the living and ready to thrill a...
Posted by Christopher Hawkins on Fri, 25 May 2007 10:52:00 PST

"Carpenter's Thumb" now online!

The March issue of The Harrow is out, and the lead story is my own contribution, entitled "Carpenter's Thumb".  I'm quite proud of this story.  It was a blast to write, with fun characters a...
Posted by Christopher Hawkins on Fri, 02 Mar 2007 09:26:00 PST

Novel excerpts now online!

I've just posted two new excerpts on my website.  The first is from my (as yet unpublished) mystery novel, Dry Lake.  The second is a little taste of my more recent horror/suspense offering,...
Posted by Christopher Hawkins on Mon, 05 Feb 2007 10:11:00 PST

Hawkins Goes International!

I recently learned that my story "A Candle for the Birthday Boy" was selected to appear in the anthology Read By Dawn, Volume 2.  The book is the second installment in an annual series curated by...
Posted by Christopher Hawkins on Fri, 12 Jan 2007 08:47:00 PST

New Year, New Website!

My website has a brand new look for the brand new year!  I've also added a bunch of new content, including writing resources, synopses of my novels, and a few pictures.Check it out at www.christo...
Posted by Christopher Hawkins on Mon, 08 Jan 2007 06:06:00 PST

The Best Films of 2006

The beginning of a new year is a time for looking forward, but it's also a time for looking back.  And as we look back at everything that happened to us and around us in 2006, what could be less ...
Posted by Christopher Hawkins on Sat, 06 Jan 2007 01:04:00 PST

Post-election thoughts

Remember that scene in Return of the Jedi where Vader's star destroyer crashes into the Death Star?  Remember the look of utter relief that (despite his being a rubber puppet) spread oh so clearl...
Posted by Christopher Hawkins on Thu, 09 Nov 2006 07:10:00 PST