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pat for Ron Paul 08

Some people like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Personally, I like to pee on old people.

About Me

Now my special bio:Well, I've been doing comedy for about a year now and I love it. Since then, I got engaged and bought a house, then became unengaged and moved to Miami. My first show here, I advanced to the Miami comedy contest finals and placed second overall. My makeshift life story is a bit retarded but I'll try. I was born in Rochester, NY and lived there until I was about 19. Had a quick stint with the Navy that involved pissing on a Taco Bell, handcuffs, and a 25 dollar ticket that was apparently too much of a crime to let me stay. Honorable discharge but earlier than planned. Got a job with IBM in Vermont after that. Joined a metal band and started screaming like a tard for a few years. It was a blast though. Played all over the northeast and we broke up right at our peak because that's what good bands do. Moved to Orlando just to COMPLETELY waste a year of my life and get some computer training and weave my way in and out of a bunch of bands. Moved to Atlanta to move in with what would soon be my ex-fiance's brother. Played with a few bands there and met my ex-fiance over Thanksgiving. She convinced me that I should move to Denver. Looked for a job for about a week and landed a pretty sweet one out here. Started doing stand up about two or three months after I moved here. Changed jobs since then and got engaged and bought a house and sold my soul to the suburban devil. I'm now unengaged and living in downtown Miami. My new job requires a crazy amount of travel in which I'm not really complaining about I guess. Anyhoo, that's my exciting story. To answer your questions about the attention whore thing or the narcissistic thing...yes, yes, yes, only with dead squirrels, and sometimes but the butter can't have hydrogenated oils in it.Oh yea, I'm writing a fictional book. You probably don't want to know what it's about. I hate elitist and banks control the world. Ha, didn't see that one coming.

My Interests

Doing stand up comedy, music, sports, meeting new people, finding the truth!

I'd like to meet:

Mitch Hedberg

Music:

This will take a while because I'm specific and picky about the music I like so I'll probably leave a bunch out. I like old school Dream Theater, Candiria, Symphony X,Jamaroquoi, old Herbie Hancock, old Coltrane(pre-heroine), Killswitch Engage, Satriani, Meshuggah, Vai, Tool, Rush, Zepplin, Snot, Liquid Tension Experiment, Derek Sherinian, Planet X, Jordan Rudess, G3, Yngwie Malmsteen, Tom Coster, Vinnie Jones, Dragonforce, a couple of Mastadon songs, John Petrucci, Billy Sheehan, Tony Levin, Steve Smith, Vital Information, Atmosphere, Sage Francis, Eydea and Abilities, Aesop Rock, Jared Paul, Remo Conscious, Immortal Technique, House of Pain's second album, Del, Tim Yeung, old Souls of Mischief, Pharcyde, Das Efx, Public Enemy, Beastie Boys, Run DMC, Sugar Hill Gang, and Black Sheep, a handful of songs by Shadows Fall, Lamb of God, All That Remains, Assemble the Remains, and Avenged Sevenfold, old Slayer, Dimebag Darrel, some of Mike Patten, Sole, Michael Romeo, Michael Pinnella, and more and I know I'm missing a ton of bassists that I can't think of. I believe that John Petrucci and Steve Vai are the greatest guitarists ever. I believe that Kenneth Schalk, Derek Sherinian, and Jordan Rudess are all freaks of nature. I believe that Maynard is the only singer in the world that makes me listen to a singer first and then listen to the music. I believe that Vinnie Jones and Michael Romeo are the two most underrated guitarists in the world. Disclaimer: I don't like most of the bands or musicians that are my "friends." And of course there is no one better than the hoff:

Movies:

Requiem for a Dream, Memento, The Big Lebowski, Usual Suspects, Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, Fight Club, Goodfellas, A Bronx Tale, Crash, 21 Grams, Mystic River, Dumb and Dumber, Me, Myself, and Irene, Snatch, Pulp Fiction, I'll fill in more later.

Television:

Similar to music, I'm such a douche with TV. I believe that Arrested Developmentis by far the greatest show ever. Family Guy, Weeds, Brotherhood, 30 Rock, Rescue Me, and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia are second. .. .. ..

Books:

My book damnit!, A Scanner Darkly, Omerta, Davinci Code, Angels and Demons, Once again I'm a picky bitch so there's not too many books that I truly believe are good.

Heroes:

My Father and definitely not larry the cable guy. Here's some top notch fakeness by him. Love the khaki's...

My Blog

Long over due news from me and Right at Your Door

..> ...
Posted by pat for Ron Paul 08 on Wed, 20 Feb 2008 10:38:00 PST

Guiliani the scum the of the earth...please watch!!!!!

What a depressing day?Keep supporting him though, because he is such a hero...
Posted by pat for Ron Paul 08 on Thu, 12 Jul 2007 01:25:00 PST

I advanced to the comedy finals(work in progress)

Hey kiddies, I advanced to the Miami comedy contest finals.  The finals are on May 2nd.  I leave for Barcelona on the 17th of April and I'm pretty much out of the country till the show. ...
Posted by pat for Ron Paul 08 on Fri, 13 Apr 2007 11:46:00 PST

All comics and musicians please read...

 For those that don't know please read the bottom portion.  For those that do please email me with a good address to reach you at. My email is [email protected] Anyone that has cont...
Posted by pat for Ron Paul 08 on Thu, 04 Jan 2007 02:01:00 PST

Hilarious story about my dog and an american flag...

First off, I've always hated tacky American flags that aren't really American flags in the first place. People in my neighborhood have these mini flag deally's that they shove the ground and cover hal...
Posted by pat for Ron Paul 08 on Wed, 29 Nov 2006 07:55:00 PST

Profile and news and Lone Lantern(work in progress)

Going to get started on this to keep all of my truthers up to date too.Peace Probably talk about Jack and THEY too!
Posted by pat for Ron Paul 08 on Wed, 22 Nov 2006 09:38:00 PST

My review of the Scholars for Truth seminar

                                      &nbs...
Posted by pat for Ron Paul 08 on Wed, 01 Nov 2006 06:34:00 PST

Random thoughts that are useless to read so don't waste your time

Well, in the past two weeks I have done comedy at a couple of music open mic's.  The place consists of white suburbanite wannabe Jack Johnson's ages 16-25 and usually a couple of older guys still...
Posted by pat for Ron Paul 08 on Thu, 22 Jun 2006 10:21:00 PST

First Blog/Semi-complaint

I think I'm not made for comedy competitions.  I consistently come in second or one place out of advancing.  I feel like comedy is about jokes and making people laugh via those jokes.  ...
Posted by pat for Ron Paul 08 on Tue, 23 May 2006 11:26:00 PST