Alexander Lanzel {BERTO} profile picture

Alexander Lanzel {BERTO}

TRIP THE LIGHT FANTASTIC

About Me

~Blessings to all sentient beings.~
~May all find enlightenment,~
~ending suffering~
~and~
~ignorance~

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My Interests



SMOKEY THE BEAR SUTRA

BY GARY SNYDER

Once in the Jurassic about 150 million years ago, the Great Sun Buddha in this corner of the Infinite Void gave a discourse to all the assembled elements and energies: to the standing beings, the walking beings, the flying beings, and the sitting beings--even the grasses, to the number of thirteen billion, each one born from a seed, assembled there: a Discourse concerning Enlightenment on the planet Earth.

"In some future time, there will be a continent called America. It will have great centers of power called such as Pyramid Lake, Walden Pond, Mt. Rainier, Big Sur, Everglades, and so forth; and powerful nerves and channels such as Columbia River, Mississippi River, and Grand Canyon. The human race in that era will get into troubles all over its head, and practically wreck everything in spite of its own strong intelligent Buddha-nature."

"The twisting strata of the great mountains and the pulsings of volcanoes are my love burning deep in the earth. My obstinate compassion is schist and basalt and granite, to be mountains, to bring down the rain. In that future American Era I shall enter a new form; to cure the world of loveless knowledge that seeks with blind hunger: and mindless rage eating food that will not fill it."

And he showed himself in his true form of
SMOKEY THE BEAR

A handsome smokey-colored brown bear standing on his hind legs, showing that he is aroused and watchful.

Bearing in his right paw the Shovel that digs to the truth beneath appearances; cuts the roots of useless attachments, and flings damp sand on the fires of greed and war;

His left paw in the mudra of Comradely Display--indicating that all creatures have the full right to live to their limits and that of deer, rabbits, chipmunks, snakes, dandelions, and lizards all grow in the realm of the Dharma;

Wearing the blue work overalls symbolic of slaves and laborers, the countless men oppressed by a civilization that claims to save but often destroys;

Wearing the broad-brimmed hat of the west, symbolic of the forces that guard the wilderness, which is the Natural State of the Dharma and the true path of man on Earth:

all true paths lead through mountains--

With a halo of smoke and flame behind, the forest fires of the kali-yuga, fires caused by the stupidity of those who think things can be gained and lost whereas in truth all is contained vast and free in the Blue Sky and Green Earth of One Mind;

Round-bellied to show his kind nature and that the great earth has food enough for everyone who loves her and trusts her;

Trampling underfoot wasteful freeways and needless suburbs, smashing the worms of capitalism and totalitarianism;

Indicating the task: his followers, becoming free of cars, houses, canned foods, universities, and shoes, master the Three Mysteries of their own Body, Speech, and Mind; and fearlessly chop down the rotten trees and prune out the sick limbs of this country America and then burn the leftover trash.

Wrathful but calm. Austere but Comic. Smokey the Bear will Illuminate those who would help him; but for those who would hinder or slander him...

HE WILL PUT THEM OUT.

Thus his great Mantra:

Namah samanta vajranam chanda maharoshana Sphataya hum traka ham mam

"I DEDICATE MYSELF TO THE UNIVERSAL DIAMOND BE THIS RAGING FURY BE DESTROYED"

And he will protect those who love the woods and rivers, Gods and animals, hobos and madmen, prisoners and sick people, musicians, playful women, and hopeful children:

And if anyone is threatened by advertising, air pollution, television, or the police, they should chant SMOKEY THE BEAR'S WAR SPELL:

DROWN THEIR BUTTS

CRUSH THEIR BUTTS

DROWN THEIR BUTTS

CRUSH THEIR BUTTS

And SMOKEY THE BEAR will surely appear to put the enemy out with his vajra-shovel.

Now those who recite this Sutra and then try to put it in practice will accumulate merit as countless as the sands of Arizona and Nevada.

Will help save the planet Earth from total oil slick.

Will enter the age of harmony of man and nature.

Will win the tender love and caresses of men, women, and beasts.

Will always have ripened blackberries to eat and a sunny spot under a pine tree to sit at.

AND IN THE END WILL WIN HIGHEST PERFECT ENLIGHTENMENT

...thus we have heard...

(may be reproduced free forever)

I'd like to meet:

FRED ALAN WOLF, PhD

GARY SNYDER

LAZARUS LONG from the books by Heinlein

Music:

- Buckethead
- The Doors
- Led Zeppelin
- Pink Floyd
- Franz Ferdinand
- The Mars Volta
- Rage Against The Machine
- Audioslave
- Rob Zombie
- Sublime
- Beastie Boys
- Crazy Town
- The Beatles
- AC/DC
- Metallica
- Powerman 5000
- Tool
- A Perfect Circle
- Snoop Dogg
- Dr. Dre
- XZibit
- Incubus
- Bob Marley
- Bob Dylan
- Def Leppard
- Tantric
- The Grateful Dead
- Beck
- 311
- Queens of the Stone Age
- Black Sabbath
- Ozzy Osbourne
- Jamiroquai
- Jimi Hendrix
- Method Man
- Redman
- G-Unit
- Outkast
- Ramones
- Red Hot Chili Peppers
- The Clash
- The White Stripes
- Transplants
- Weezer
...and so many more...

Movies:

- Reservoir Dogs
- Shaun Of The Dead
- Zoolander
- IT
- Van Helsing
- Bram Stoker's Dracula
- Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory
- Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas
- The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
- Without A Paddle
- Stand By Me
- The Princess Bride
- Waiting...
- Fight Club
- A Clockwork Orange
- Braveheart
- Star Wars
- Lord of the Rings
- Half Baked
- Napoleon Dynamite
- Rocky I
- Once Upon A Time In Mexico
- How High
- What Dreams May Come
- Cheech & Chong
- Training Day
- Lock, Stock, And Two Smoking Barrels
- The Wall
- Tommy
- Hellboy
- King Kong

Television:

*I don't watch a lot of TV...

Books:

- Parallel Universes by Fred Alan Wolf
- The Dancing Wu Li Masters by Gary Zukav
- Time Enough For Love by Robert Heinlein
- Party Monster by James St. James
- The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown
- Stephen King (any)
- On The Road by Jack Kerouac
- The Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac
- The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test by Tom Wolfe
- Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson
- One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey
- The Way To Freedom by H.H. Dalai Llama
- The Tibetan Book Of Living And Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche
- The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkein
- The Lord Of The Rings by J.R.R. Tolkein
- The Sword Of Shannara by Terry Brooks

Heroes:

- Gary Snyder
- Lazarus Long
- Buckethead
- Spiderman
- John F. Kennedy
- Socrates
- Indiana Jones
- Jimmy Page
- John Lennon
- Syd Barrett
- Jack Kerouac
- Fred Alan Wolf
- Timothy Leary
- Abraham Lincoln
- Buddha
- Jesus Christ
- St. Francis of Assisi
- William Wallace
- Bruce Lee

My Blog

Iron Butterfly

Iron Butterfly From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Jump to: navigation, search ..> Iron Butterfly Origin San Diego, California Country United States Years active ...
Posted by Alexander Lanzel {BERTO} on Mon, 18 Jun 2007 01:16:00 PST

Gary Snyder, the original Dharma Bum

These are some quotes from Gary Snyder(if you've read Kerouac's Dharma Bums, this is the real-life Japhy Ryder)The man is brilliant in my opinionI got this from this site Back To Earth Talk Index G...
Posted by Alexander Lanzel {BERTO} on Sun, 03 Jun 2007 02:04:00 PST

Renfey

RENFEY has a beautiful soulHer music & words put me into a peaceful trance...a true enchantress ...
Posted by Alexander Lanzel {BERTO} on Sun, 03 Jun 2007 01:27:00 PST

Dr. Quantum

The Adventures ofDR. QUANTUM(A.K.A. Fred Alan Wolf)Dr. Quantum explains the legendary Double Slit Experiment Dr. Quantum visits Flatland ...
Posted by Alexander Lanzel {BERTO} on Thu, 24 May 2007 04:06:00 PST

Angkor Wat

A tour of the amazing temples of Angkor Wat in Cambodiavideo provided by: elnazn ...
Posted by Alexander Lanzel {BERTO} on Thu, 17 May 2007 01:33:00 PST

King Solomon's Mines

An old adventure movie featuring Allan Quatermain(he's kind of like the original Indiana Jones)I read the book -- it's pretty good stuffENJOY ...
Posted by Alexander Lanzel {BERTO} on Thu, 17 May 2007 01:12:00 PST

Mistabungle's Survival Guide

by: Josh C. ..> Mistabungle's Survival Guide its a dangerous world out there friends.be careful...you never know when the clouds are going to roll in and bust an F5 tornado down on your ass that ...
Posted by Alexander Lanzel {BERTO} on Tue, 15 May 2007 01:58:00 PST

The Deli Creeps

Bucketheadand The Deli Creeps(are awesome)Maximum Bob tells the story of BUCKETHEAD Footage of The Deli Creeps - Santa Cruz, CA June 7th, 2003(not sure if these are in order...)Turbine ...
Posted by Alexander Lanzel {BERTO} on Wed, 02 May 2007 10:17:00 PST

SPIRICOM

I got this from: WorldITC.orgWe present here the Original Report from George W. Meek edited for better use in the Internet. No content changes have been made.   direct to Table of Contents  ...
Posted by Alexander Lanzel {BERTO} on Tue, 24 Apr 2007 12:25:00 PST

The SPIRICOM tapes

I obtained these recordings from: http://www.ghostpix.com/spiricom/spiricom.htmlSPIRICOM - side 1SPIRICOM - side 2...
Posted by Alexander Lanzel {BERTO} on Tue, 24 Apr 2007 01:38:00 PST