NO/ABUSE/NO/MORE

------------------------------------------------------------ -------------------- "Why Women Stay"It can be truly confusing to people on the outside looking in, wondering why a woman would stay with a man who beats her.Those who don't understand say things like, "I'd leave him in a heartbeat if he ever hit me -- it would only take one time!"And yet, despite repeated assaults, -- which can include trips to the emergency room, irreparable physical damage, alienation from family and friends, deteriorating self-esteem, children who live in fear, repeated calls for police protection, and threats of death, -- many women remain with the men who abuse them. There can be many reasons, with more than one contributing to the problem. The categories are not discrete, with many overlapping characteristics among the arbitrary divisions. The Safety Seeker: It may be familiar, and oddly enough, a comfortable lifestyle. The Blind: Not realizing it is "abuse." The Worthless: "No one else would ever love me." The Defective: "I deserved it; I'll do better." The Manager: "I can keep it from happening again." The Gullible: "He's really sorry, and it won't happen again." The Pretender: "I know I make him sound terrible, but he's really a good person most of the time." The Defender: "He didn't mean to hurt me." The Caretaker: "No one else understands him the way I do." The Fantasizer: "But I love him." The Martyr: "He isn't hurting the children; if he ever did, I'd leave." The Helpless: "I can't support the children on my own." The Hopeless: "He'll kill me if I try to leave him." The Safety Seeker: It may be familiar, and oddly enough, a comfortable lifestyle. This is probably the concept that is most difficult for people to understand. People tend to move toward relationships that are familiar and thus most comfortable. "Comfort" in this sense does not necessarily mean physical or emotional contentment; but, rather "comfort" in the sense of having lived in similar situations. Superficially, it seems easier to deal with the "known" and "expected" than with uncertainty. For example, there are women who repeatedly marry alcoholic men. In a therapeutic session with a woman in her forties, we reviewed her life and relationships. She had been married seven times to seven alcoholics.Between each marriage, -- and consistent throughout her life, -- was one man who was not an alcoholic. She admitted truly enjoying his company, but never married him and could not figure out why.Her father was an alcoholic. She grew up with and understood living with alcoholism. She knew from her mother how to be the wife of an alcoholic and knew how to live in the dysfunction of alcoholism. She seemed to keep going back to what was most familiar, -- and thus most "comfortable." For brevity, this is necessarily a simplified explanation. To explain it a little further, -- if a spaceship landed in your front yard, the door opened, and funny little green people came out, -- you might be frightened.What if I assured you that these were very friendly people, that they would take you to live on another planet in a stress-free paradise, but you could never return to what you now know as life on Earth? Would you go with the aliens? Probably not. Because you haven't been there, you don't know if you can trust me, and you don't know what to expect. You would probably stay where you are, -- despite creditors banging on the door, a leaking roof, your mother-in-law living with you, standing daily in the unemployment line, your daughter prostituting herself, and your son in jail for dealing drugs.The unknown and uncertain can be too frightening for change, -- even when it is needed or wanted. Women in abusive relationships that have escalated to threats of death must decide if they will continue to endure the violence that could also end in death, -- or if they will take the risk to leave. This decision can be in the form of no decision, -- which is in itself a decision to stay. G Our adult protective system and shelters must do more to help these women and their children. But this plea is met with the valid complaint from those who try to protect, -- that the abused women they are sheltering will call their abusers and give away confidential housing locations, -- endangering others in the safe-house. The solution to the ultimate threat of death is to leave an abuser as soon as the violence begins, and not to wait until it has escalated to threats of death. But that is overstating the obvious.---------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- Provided by the U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics on Child Sexual Abuse; summaries of noteworthy research findings: Sex offender statistics. 60% of convicted sex offenders on parole or probation. Children and teenagers are victims. Recidivism rates for crimes higher smong sex offenders. Violent offenders and their victims. Two-thirds of sex offenders in prisons victimized a child. Family members of acquaintances most child murders. Half of women raped were younger than 18 (1992).----------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ -----------------------------------------------Resources for Child Abuse Statistics-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------ --------------------1. Admin. for Children & Families, U.S. Dpt. of Health & Human Services2. America's Children: Key National Indicators of Well-Being presents twenty-five indicators that reflect critical aspects of children's lives including economic security, health, behavior and social environment, and education.3. Bureau of Justice Statistics, within the U.S. Department of Justice, collects, analyzes, and disseminates statistical information on crime victims, criminal offenders, and the justice system. 4. ChildStats.gov, Forum on Child and Family Statistics5. Child Welfare Information Gateway (formerly National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse & Neglect)6. Child Welfare League of America (CWLA) operates the National Data Analysis System (NDAS). The NDAS provides access to all states' child abuse and neglect data for the most recent years available. Users can customize tables and graphs by state and data year. 7. FEDSTATS.com links to statistical information for public use, produced by more than 70 Federal Government agencies. 8. KIDS COUNT Data Book, funded by the Annie E. Casey Foundation, provides annual state and national data on the educational, social, economic, and physical well-being of children. 9. National Center for Health Statistics, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, serves as the Nation's principal health statistics agency.10. National Data Archive on Child Abuse and Neglect (NDACAN) at Cornell University (Ithaca) is a service of the Children's Bureau, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services; NDACAN acquires and disseminates datasets relevant to the study of child abuse and neglect for use in secondary analysis. 11. Office for Victims of Crimes has a collection of research and statistics about victims of crime, provided by several agencies within the Office of Justice Programs, including the Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS), the National Institute of Justice (NIJ), the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention (OJJDP), and other federal sources. 12. The National Center on Child Abuse Prevention Research was established to increase the nation's understanding of the complex causes of child maltreatment, to evaluate the effectiveness of prevention programs and to disseminate this information. The Research Center has made significant contributions to the expansion of knowledge of child abuse prevention. 13. Healthy Families America was launched in 1992 by Prevent Child Abuse America (formerly known as the National Committee to Prevent Child Abuse) in partnership with Ronald McDonald House Charities and was designed to promote positive parenting, enhance child health and development and prevent child abuse and neglect. 14. Trends in the Well-Being of America's Children and Youth is the fifth edition of an annual report from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) on trends in the well-being of the nation's children and youth. The report presents the most recent and reliable estimates on more than 80 indicators of well-being.------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------Children often fail to report because of the fear that disclosure will bring consequences even worse than being victimized again. The victim may fear consequences from the family, feel guilty for consequences to the perpetrator, and may fear subsequent retaliatory actions from the perpetrator. Sources: Berlinger & Barbieri, 1984; Groth, 1979; Swanson & Biaggio, 1985. Victims may be embarrassed or reluctant to answer questions about the sexual activity. Source: Berlinger & Barbieri, 1984.Victims may also have a feeling that "something is wrong with me," and that the abuse is their fault. Sources: Johnson, 1987; Tsai & Wagner, l978.In addition to "sexual guilt," there are several other types of guilt associated with the abuse, which include feeling different from peers, harboring vengeful and angry feelings toward both parents, feeling responsible for the abuse, feeling guilty about reporting the abuse, and bringing disloyalty and disruption to the family . Any of these feelings of guilt could outweigh the decision of the victim to report, the result of which is the secret may remain intact and undisclosed. Source: Courtois & Watts, 1982; Tsai & Wagner, l978. A child's initial denial of sexual abuse should not be the sole basis of reassurance that abuse did not occur. Virtually all investigative protocols are designed to respond to only those children who have disclosed. Policies and procedures that are geared only to those children who have disclosed fail to recognize the needs of the majority of victims. Source: Sorensen & Snow, 1991. Study of 630 cases of alleged sexual abuse of children from 1985 through 1989: Using a subset of 116 confirmed cases, findings indicated that 79 percent of the children of the study initially denied abuse or were tentative in disclosing. Of those who did disclose, approximately three-quarters disclosed accidentally. Additionally, of those who did disclose, 22 percent eventually recanted their statements. Source: Sorensen & Snow, 1991. Young victims may not recognize their victimization as sexual abuse. Source: Gilbert, l988.There is the clinical assumption that children who feel compelled to keep sexual abuse a secret suffer greater psychic distress than victims who disclose the secret and receive assistance and support. Source: Finkelhor & Browne, 1986.Early identification of sexual abuse victims appears to be crucial to the reduction of suffering of abused youth and to the establishment of support systems for assistance in pursuing appropriate psychological development and healthier adult functioning . As long as disclosure continues to be a problem for young victims, then fear, suffering, and psychological distress will, like the secret, remain with the victim.----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Child Sexual Abuse ~ Allegations In a twelve state study of approximately 9000 divorces cases, child sexual abuse allegations were made in less than 2% of contested divorces involving child custody. Source: Association of Family Conciliation Courts, 1990. Reported cases of child sexual abuse reached epidemic proportions, with a reported 322 percent increase from 1980 to 1990. Source: Sorensen & Snow, 1991.Bruises, burns, and broken bones are more easily identified as child abuse than is sexual assault. Source: Farrell, 1988. This crime must usually be proven without corroboration or physical evidence. Source: Janssen, 1984.A study conducted at Children's Hospital Medical Center of Cincinnati (Amy Arszman Daso and Robert Shapiro, M.D) indicates that child sexual abuse allegations should be taken seriously and found children's testimony more reliable than physical exams in cases of sexual abuse. The researchers reviewed the records of 31 pedophiles who confessed between 1994 and 1999. The 31 perpetrators confessed to a total of 101 acts of sexual abuse, some of which they committed multiple times. The perpetrators abused 47 children. The 45 old enough to provide a history described 111 acts of sexual abuse. "Physical exams are an unreliable indicator of sexual abuse," says Dr. Shapiro. "We're not saying that children never make things up, but the responsible reaction is to listen carefully to allegations of abuse so that abused children will be identified and false allegations recognized." (May 2000) Contact: Jim Feuer (EMail: [email protected]), Children's Hospital Medical Center, Cincinnati, 513-636-4420 Child Abuse & Child Sexual Abuse ~ Substantiated Com.. of substantiated child abuse in 2000: 879,000 children were victims of child maltreatment. Neglect ~ 63% Physical ~ 19% Sexual ~ 10% Psychological ~ 8% Victimization rates declined as age increased. Rate of victimization per 1,000 children of the same age group: Birth to 3 years old = 15.7 victims per 1,000. Ages 16 and 17 = 5.7 victims per 1,000.Except for victims of sexual abuse, rates were similar for male and female victimization: 11.2 and 12.8 per 1,000 children respectively. Rate of sexual abuse by gender: 1.7 victims per 1,000 female children 0.4 victims per 1,000 male children. Rate of child abuse by race: White = 51% African American = 25% Hispanic = 15% American Indian/Alaska Natives = 2% Asian/Pacific Islanders = 1%The comparative annual rate of child victims: decreased steadily from 15.3 victims per 1,000 children in 1993 to 11.8 victims per 1,000 children in 1999; then increased to 12.2 per 1,000 children in 2000. Whether this is a trend cannot be determined until additional data are collected. Source: US Dept of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children & Families, Child Welfare Information Gateway (formerly Nat'l Clearinghouse on Child Abuse & Neglect), 2000. Child Victims An average of 5.5 children per 10,000 enrolled in day care are sexually abused, an average of 8.9 children out of every 10,000 are abused in the home Source: Finkelhor & Williams, 1988. In the adult retrosptective study, victimization was reported by 27 percent of the women and 16 percent of the men. The median age for the occurrence of reported abuse was 9.9 for boys and 9.6 for girls. Victimization occurred before age eight for 22 percent of boys and for 23 percent of girls. Most of the abuse of both boys and girls was by offenders 10 or more years older than their victims. Girls were more likely than boys to disclose the abuse. Forty-two percent of the women and thirty-three percent of the men reported never having disclosed the experience to anyone. Source: Finkelhor et al., 1990. "WHEN SEXUALLY abused boys are not treated, society must later deal with the resulting problems, including crime, suicide, drug use and more sexual abuse, said the study’s author, Dr. William C. Holmes of the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine." [snip] "The earlier studies found that one-third of juvenile delinquents, 40 percent of sexual offenders and 76 percent of serial rapists report they were sexually abused as youngsters." [snip] "The suicide rate among sexually abused boys was 1½ to 14 times higher, and reports of multiple substance abuse among sixth-grade boys who were molested was 12 to 40 times greater." [snip] "Holmes said a review of the studies leads him to believe 10 percent to 20 percent of all boys are sexually abused in some way. But widely varying definitions of sexual abuse in the studies and differences in who was being studied make it difficult to accurately gauge the prevalence of sexual abuse, he said." Full Story at MSNBC News, Dec 1998 (Note: may be archived). Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS): 1. Sexual assault of young children as reported to law enforcement: Victim, incident, and offender characteristics (Acrobat PDF or ASCII text). 2. National Incident-Based Reporting System (NIBRS), ~ regarding sexual assault, especially of young children; based on reports from law enforcement agencies of 21 States and covering the years 1991 through 2002 (or, use the BJS search to find these documents). The July 2000 NIBRS report presents sexual assault in 4 categories: Forcible rape, Forcible sodomy, Sexual assault with an object, and Forcible fondling. Findings include statistics on the incidence of sexual assault, the victims, their offenders, gender, response to these crimes, locality, time of incident, the levels of victim injury, victims' perceptions of offenders' ages, and victim-offender relationships, and other detailed characteristics. Highlights from 2000 include the following as reported to law enforcement: 67% of victims of sexual assault were juveniles (under age 18); 34% of sexual assault victims were under age 12; 1 of every 7 victims of sexual assault were under age 6; 40% of offenders who victimized children under age 6 were juveniles (under age 18). Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS)"Helping sexually abused children depends on the combined efforts of law enforcement, medical, social service, and prosecution personnel. It is essential for those in each field to recognize and understand the others' responsibilities in dealing with child sexual abuse. Only then can we learn how best to help each other to help the victims and their families. As experience, research, and learning advance. It becomes increasingly clear that the police officer -- and indeed the entire criminal justice system -- are an integral part of identifying the problem, protecting the victim, and remedying the situation." Impact of Child Sexual Abuse It is estimated that there are 60 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse in America today. Source: Forward, 1993.Approximately 31% of women in prison state that they had been abused as children. Source: United States Department of Justice, 1991.Approximately 95% of teenage prostitutes have been sexually abused. Source: CCPCA, 1992. It is estimated that children with disabilities are 4 to 10 times more vulnerable to sexual abuse than their non-disabled peers. Source: National Resource Center on Child Sexual Abuse, 1992.Long term effects of child abuse include fear, anxiety, depression, anger, hostility, inappropriate sexual behavior, poor self esteem, tendency toward substance abuse and difficulty with close relationships. Source: Browne & Finkelhor, 1986. Clinical findings of adult victims of sexual abuse include problems in interpersonal relationships associated with an underlying mistrust. Generally, adult victims of incest have a severely strained relationship with their parents that is marked by feelings of mistrust, fear, ambivalence, hatred, and betrayal. These feelings may extend to all family members. Source: Tsai and Wagner, 1978. Guilt is universally experienced by almost all victims. Courtois and Watts described the "sexual guilt" as "guilt derived from sexual pleasure" Source: Tsai and Wagner, l978.Sexuality is regarded not simply as a part of the self limited to genitals, discrete behaviors, or biological aspects of reproduction, but is more properly understood as one component of the total personality that affects one's concept of personal identity and self-esteem. Source: Whitlock & Gillman, 1989. Sexual victimization may profoundly interfere with and alter the development of attitudes toward self, sexuality, and trusting relationships during the critical early years of development. Source: Tsai & Wagner, 1984. If the child victim does not resolve the trauma, sexuality may become an area of adult conflict. Source: Courtois & Watts, 1982; Tsai & Wagner, 1984.There is the clinical assumption that children who feel compelled to keep sexual abuse a secret suffer greater psychic distress than victims who disclose the secret and receive assistance and support. Source: Finkelhor & Browne, 1986. Early identification of sexual abuse victims appears to be crucial to the reduction of suffering of abused youth and to the establishment of support systems for assistance in pursuing appropriate psychological development and healthier adult functioning . As long as disclosure continues to be a problem for young victims, then fear, suffering, and psychological distress will, like the secret, remain with the victim. Sources: Bagley, 1992; Bagley, 1991; Finkelhor et al. 1990; Whitlock & Gillman, 1989. Adolescents with a history of sexual abuse are significantly more likely than their counterparts to engage in sexual behavior that puts them at risk for HIV infection, according to Dr. Larry K. Brown and associates, from Rhode Island Hospital, in Providence. Adolescents with a history of sexual abuse are significantly more likely than their counterparts to engage in sexual behavior that puts them at risk for HIV infection, according to Dr. Larry K. Brown and associates, from Rhode Island Hospital, in Providence. Inconsistent condom use was three times more likely among youths who had been sexually abused than among the 55 who had not. A history of sexual abuse was also significantly associated with less impulse control and higher rates of sexually transmitted diseases. According to Dr. Brown, "These results suggest two things. Abused kids need adequate counseling around abuse issues. A lot of these kids keep re-experiencing the anxiety and trauma for years." The second issue, he said, is that "most therapy does not address current sexual behavior" and the anxieties that sexually abused adolescents experience. Source: Larry K. Brown, M.D., et al, American Journal of Psychiatry 2000;157:1413-1415. Young girls who are forced to have sex are three times more likely to develop psychiatric disorders or abuse alcohol and drugs in adulthood, than girls who are not sexually abused. Sexual abuse was also more strongly linked with substance abuse than with psychiatric disorders. It was also suggested that sexual abuse may lead some girls to become sexually active at an earlier age and seek out older boyfriends who might, in turn, introduce them to drugs. Psychiatric disorders were from 2.6 to 3.3 times more common among women whose CSA included intercourse, and the risk of substance abuse was increased more than fourfold, according to the results. Family factors -- parental education, parenting behavior, family financial status, church attendance -- had little impact on the prevalence of psychiatric or substance abuse disorders among these women, the investigators observe. Similarly, parental psychopathology did not predict the association between CSA and later psychopathology.Among both adolescent girls and boys, a history of sexual or physical abuse appears to increase the risk of disordered eating behaviors, such as self-induced vomiting or use of laxatives to avoid gaining weight. Among those at increased risk for disordered eating were respondents who had experienced sexual or physical abuse and those who gave low ratings to family communication, parental caring and parental expectations. In light of these findings, the researchers conclude that "strong familial relationships may decrease the risk for disordered eating among youth reporting abuse experiences." Source: Dr. Dianne Neumark-Sztainer, et al, University of Minneapolis, International Journal of Eating Disorders 2000;28:249-258. Young girls who are sexually abused are more likely to develop eating disorders as adolescents. The findings also add to a growing body of research suggesting that trauma in childhood increases the risk of developing an eating disorder. Abused girls were more dissatisfied with their weight and more likely to diet and purge their food by vomiting or using laxatives and diuretics. Abused girls were also more likely to restrict their eating when they were bored or emotionally upset. Wonderlich suggests that abused girls might experience higher levels of emotional distress, possibly linked to their abuse, and have trouble coping. Food restriction and perhaps other eating disorder behaviors may (reflect) efforts to cope with such experiences. The report also indicates that while girls who were abused were less likely to exhibit perfectionist tendencies (such as making extreme efforts to avoid disappointing others and a need to be 'the best'), they tended to want thinner bodies than girls who had not been abused. Source: Stephen A. Wonderlich, M.D., et al, University of North Dakota School of Medicine and Health Sciences in Fargo, Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 2000;391277-1283. US Healthcare system missing most mentally ill children and adolescents. More than 7 out of 10 American adolescents with mental health problems are getting no care, according to data released today at the Surgeon General's Conference on Children's Mental Health. See MedscapeVictims of Childhood Sexual Abuse Later Criminal Consequences Discussed in the Brief: Previous research established evidence for a cycle of violence: people who were abused and neglected in childhood are more likely than those who were not to become involved in criminal behavior, including violent crime, later in life. This Research in Brief, the second in a series on the cycle of violence, examines the criminal consequences in adulthood of a particular type of childhood victimization: sexual abuse. It traces the same individuals studied initially, using official records of arrest and juvenile detention.-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ Sexual and Other Abuse May Alter a Brain Region "Many women and men who have been subjected to severe physical or sexual abuse during childhood suffer from long-term disturbances of the psyche. They may be invaded by nightmares and flashbacks -- much like survivors of war -- or, conversely, may freeze into benumbed calm in situations of extreme stress. Two recent studies find that survivors of child abuse may also have a smaller hippocampus relative to control subjects. If substantiated, the discovery could fill out the profile of an abuse survivor and help define what constitutes abuse." "Changes in the hippocampus--the part of the brain that deals with short-term memory and possibly the encoding and retrieval of long-term memory--could, researchers suggest, be wrought by hormones flooding the brain during and after a stressful episode.""Dissociation and PTSD are not sharply separated and often alternate in the same individual. Dissociation, often employed by children who cannot escape from the threat of abuse, is a means of mentally withdrawing from a horrific situation by separating it from conscious awareness. The skill allows the victim to feel detached from the body or self, as if what is happening is not happening to her or him." "David W. Foy of Pepperdine University notes that within days or weeks of a traumatic experience, therapy seems beneficial in dispelling PTSD. This period, Bremner speculates, could reflect the timescale over which the hippocampus organizes experiences into a person's worldview. Although some functions of the hippocampus are known, its mechanics are poorly understood." "Psychiatrists contend that if repeatedly invoked in childhood, dissociation prevents memories from being integrated into consciousness and can lead to an altered sense of self. Many normal children play with imaginary companions; abused children can use such creative resources to a pathological extent, in extreme cases falling prey to multiple personality disorder (MPD). Adults may continue to use dissociation as a coping mechanism. Once dissociation or PTSD develops, the majority of psychological symptoms and the hormonal profile are very resistant to treatment." Sex Offenders The typical child sex offender molests an average of 117 children, most of who do not report the offence. Source: National Institute of Mental Health, 1988.About 60% of the male survivors sampled report at least one of their perpetrators to be female. Source: Mendel, 1993.About 95% of victims know their perpetrators. Source: CCPCA, 1992.It is estimated that approximately 71% of child sex offenders are under 35 and knew the victim at least casually. About 80% of these individuals fall within normal intelligence ranges; 59% gain sexual access to their victims through, seduction or enticement. Source: Burgess & Groth, 1984. U.S. Dpt of Health & Human Services,Administration for Children and FamiliesSurvey Shows Dramatic Increase in Child Abuse and Neglect, 1986-1993 The Department of Health and Human Services released a survey estimating that child abuse and neglect in the United States nearly doubled during the seven years between 1986 and 1993.According to the HHS study, the number of total child maltreatment instances that were investigated by state agencies remained constant from 1986 to 1993; however, the percentage of cases investigated declined dramatically."It is shameful and startling to see that so many more children are in danger and that proportionately fewer incidents are investigated," HHS Secretary Donna E. Shalala said. "Now states, schools, health care professionals -- all of us -- must commit ourselves to investigating and preventing child abuse with far greater effectiveness than we have seen in the past."The report estimated the number of abused and neglected children increased from 1.4 million in 1986, to over 2.8 million in 1993. The number of children who were seriously injured quadrupled from about 143,000 to nearly 570,000. Schools identified the largest number of children at risk, yet state services investigated only 16 percent of these children. For the cases identified in the study, less than 50 percent of children identified as maltreated by any source (except law enforcement) were investigated by child protective services.Shalala said, "We are giving states more flexibility, demanding more accountability and focusing on the only bottom line that matters: results."In regard to sexual victimization, the NIS survey concluded: Girls are sexually abused three times more often than boys; Boys have greater risk of emotional neglect & serious injury than girls.The NIS is funded by HHS National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect and mandated by Congress.Bureau of Justice, Statistics on Child Sexual Abuse: Sex offender statistics. 60% of convicted sex offenders on parole or probation. Children and teenagers are victims. Recidivism rates for crimes higher smong sex offenders. Violent offenders and their victims. Two-thirds of sex offenders in prisons victimized a child. Family members of acquaintances most child murders. Half of women raped were younger than 18 (1992)... A POME FOR THE BULLY Why was it me, who always walk so scared i felt the pain, but know see's my hurt i got punched in my face so my vision was blared i shout out in my mind but my thoughts ain't heard i walked home alone i would shuffle like a drome i was chased from school, i was surrounded alone battered then beaten, they took pictures on their phone and as i walked away i was pelted with a stone but what they dont see is MY ANGER SWIRLS ROUND LIKE A WIND, then my anger chills id go home to my room and i would listen to tunes i felt my life was so bad like death on the news i wouldnt turn to my family because i felt so ashamed i would cower in my room and remember the names the ones that they called me to get into my skin i would always stay strong no way they can win as time progressed, see the times go worse and the more they hit, the more they hurt i was stripped from my skin, my identity lost i wouldnt shout stop, so they continually bossed why was it me not loved but hated? hitten? shurgged my shoulders, continually slated they sealed my fate, so i waited for that date for the time to come, to walk out of that gate to a better life, but then i found hip hop music was my voice to finally say stop now as times progressed see the times got better music was the tool to end my Vendetta but if you thinks its that easy then you have got to be messing i still can't lost the facts of the past and those memories depressing. STATS ON BULLYING: -100,000 US students carry a gun to school.-282,000 US students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month-American playground statistics: -Every 7 minutes a child is bullied -Adult intervention 4% -Peer intervention 11% -No intervention 85%-Most bullying is verbal-Over 5.7 million teens in the US have admited to being a bully, a victim, or both-58% of student between the grade 4-8 have not told their parents or an adult about something mean or hurtful that happened to them online.-90% of 4th-8th graders say that they have been bullied at school.-7% of 8th graders stay home at least once a month because of their fear of getting bullied.-Most victims think that standing up for themselves will only make the situation worse.-Ignoring a bully isn't always the answer, but in some cases it may make the bully feel inferior.-If you or someone you know bullies someone else, take a stand! Tell them it's WRONG!VERBAL, PHSYCAL, SOCIAL, RACIAL, CYBER, SEXUAL HARASSMENT, DATING AGGRESSION! IT ALL HURTS, What is Bullying? Bullying is when someone puts others down to make themselves feel better and to gain power over others around them.What Should I Do if I'm being Bullied?Bullying can be difficult because often people are frightened to let someone know. However, the best thing you can do for yourself is to first let someone you trust know of your situation. Try to stand up for yourself, and bring along a friend who can help you do it. If needed, get adults involved that the bully will have to listen too. What are the Different Types of Bullying?Physical Bullying- the act of violently harming another person. For example, hitting, kicking, or even damage to someone's property are all acts of physical bullying.Verbal Bullying- verbally putting someone down. For example, name calling, insulting, making sexual advances on someone, etc.Relational Bullying- indirectly putting someone down. For example, spreading rumors, exclusion from social groups, relates to cyber bullying, etc.To anyone who hides behind a smile To anyone who holds their pain inside To anyone who thinks they're not good enough To anyone who feels unworthy of love To anyone who ever closed the door Closed their eyes and locked themselves awayYou don't have to hide You don't have to hide anymore You don't have to face this on your own You don't have to hide anymoreSo come out, come out, come out wherever you are To anyone who's tryin' to cover up their scars To anyone who's ever made a big mistake We've all been there, so don't be ashamed Come out, come out and join the rest of us You've been alone for way too longYou don't have to hide You don't have to hide anymore You don't have to face this on your own You don't have to hide anymoreAnd if you feel like no one understands Come to the One with scars on His hands 'Cause He knows where you are, where you've been His scars will heal you if you let HimYou don't have to hide You don't have to hide anymore You don't have to face this on your own You don't have to hide anymore