Oh, I like lots o' stuff. Like what, you ask? Well, if you'd stop interrupting me, I could tell you. Where was I? Oh yes. I'm a big fan of Dungeons and Dragons (NOT IRONICALLY. It is the best game ever invented), Halo on Xbox (Slayer w/Rockets esp), and cleaning my apartment whilst inebriated.
I also enjoy judging people, feeling alternately inferior and superior to every other human being on the planet depending on my mood and/or level of intoxication, and trying to figure out which horrific/fatal/debilitating disease I am currently afflicted with.
I like books, movies, TV and music like everybody else, and if you keep on readin', you can get more specifics. I know you like specifics.
I'd like to meet:
Smart, funny people who haven't had their souls destroyed by a massively over-developed sense of irony.
People who know the difference between witty, well-placed cynicism and dull, meaningless negativity.
Dead People I Wish I Could Meet
Robert Mitchum, circa 1948
Buster Keaton, circa 1927
Fictional People I Want to Meet
Philip Marlowe. Aslan. CK Dexter Haven. Xander Harris. God.
People I Don't Want to Meet
Anyone who forward emails. Ever. They are NEVER funny. PBS is not being shut down. There is no science project. I don't want to take your idiotic survey. Anti-perspirant does not cause cancer and/or alzheimers. I might make a forwarding exception for Bush-bashing. But only if it's truly amusing.
People who don't like thunderstorms and/or snow.
Proselytizing Vegans & Ex-Drinkers (vegans and ex-drinkers in general are peachy keen, though)
People who think "sticking to your guns" is more important than "being right"
And last but not least: Self-Righteous New Yorkers
Look, I really love New York too. I visit many times a year. I have magical Christmases and crisp Autumn Central Park walks and drunken late-night dinners there. New York has lots and lots of wonderful qualities. And L.A. is not my favorite city in the world. But I do live here. And it too has lots of wonderful qualities. I have learned to appreciate LA, and I'm so goddamed sick and tired of people who live/want to live/have lived in New York spewing anti-LA bullshit every two seconds:
"L.A. is so shallow! How can you live there?" - Oh, excuse me. You're right. I forgot that New York is home to vital, socially conscious industries like modeling, finance (yay! Money!), fashion design and magazine publication. Yes, the richness of your culture is truly mind-boggling. You are indeed superior to every other civilization on the planet. Congrats.
"But it's smoggy in L.A.!" - Whatever. Last time I was in New York I was inhaling some homeless guy's vaporized urine every time I walked into the subway station. I'll take the smog, thanks.
"There's no community in Los Angeles. Everyone's in their car! We're better because we take the subway." - Yeah, we have no community because we can avoid being groped by strangers on our daily commute. Think of all the new friends I could make if I just wedged myself under people's armpits twice a day for an hour! You're right. We'll never be a community-minded city if we don't have to cling to germ-coated subway poles and listen to a stinky, tone-deaf panhandler sing half the national anthem and then demand money every morning. Good lord.
OK, that's enough angry ranting for now. Maybe more than enough. Everybody take a deep breath and then go have a drink on me. I'll pay you back later. I promise.
Music:
First off: I swear I don't work for them, but Last.fm is delightful. You download a plugin for your music player (iTunes, or what have you), and in a Big Brother-y fashion, they analyze what you listen to, show you people all around the world who are listening to similar stuff, and program an online radio station tailored to your exact taste. It's pretty great...thye can also give you a nifty chart like this, so everyone will know what you're listening to. You CLAIM to listen exclusively to Brazilian death metal and unsigned indie bands? Fine. Prove it. I am not ashamed of the music I listen to, cool or not, here's what I'm listening to lately:
OK, in general, my favorites are:
Elvis CostelloOld 97'sThe Divine Comedy Bright EyesDavid MeadRon Sexsmith Nothing Painted BlueThe ZombiesThe dB'sTed LeoJon BrionHall & OatesElliott Smith Ben Folds FiveAimee MannBarenaked LadiesJoe JacksonMaximo ParkSqueezeCandy ButchersThe RefreshmentsBill MonroeFreedy Johnston ELOBottle RocketsBrendan BensonWes CunninghamAnd Many More...
Movies:
*Ball of Fire, The Philadelphia Story, Citizen Kane, Dead Alive, Double Indemnity, Tommy Boy, The Frighteners, Out of the Past, Steamboat Bill Jr (any and all Buster Keaton, actually), Matrix, Dead Again, The Tenant, Happy Gilmore, It Happened One Night, Magnolia, Pick-Up On South Street, Chinatown, Casablanca, This is Spinal Tap
Television:
Current Season Passes on my Tivo
Law & OrderGilmore GirlsThe Daily ShowThe WireHouseBattlestar GalacticaAmerica's Next Top ModelGrey's AnatomyVeronica MarsHow I Met Your MotherThe OfficeThe L WordR.I.P. aka Old Favorites aka Thank God for DVDsSports NightBuffy the Vampire SlayerArrested DevelopmentMr. ShowDeadwoodMystery Science Theater 3000Kids in the HallAngelThe Office (UK)X FilesFirefly
Books:
The Debt to Pleasure, In Cold Blood, The Long Goodbye (any and all Chandler. But that's my fave), Red Harvest (any and all Hammett. But that's my fave), Brideshead Revisited, Sandman (Gaiman), Ghost World, Mockingbird, The Talented Mr. Ripley, Wheel of Time series (1-5), A Farewell to Arms, On a Pale Horse, Mr. Boston Official Bartending Guide
