"My name is Ash, and I had a real life once. A job. I had a wonderful girlfriend. Linda. Together, we drove to a small cabin in the mountains. It seems an archaeologist had come to this remote place to translate and study his latest find. Necronomicon Ex Mortis. Roughly translated: "The Book of the Dead". Bound in human flesh and inked in blood, this ancient sumerian text contained bizarre incantations and demon resurrection passages. It was never meant for the world of the living. The book awoke something dark in the woods. It took Linda. And then it came...for me. It got into my hand and it went bad. So I lopped it off at the wrist. But that didn't stop it. It came back. Big time. In trying to destroy the book, some sort of time tunnel was opened. I dropped out of the sky...landed in the year 1300 A.D. There, it was more of the same. Deadites. The undead spawn of the Necronomicon. I went on a quest for the book. Not because I wanted to help these poor saps, but because it could send me back home. So I built myself a new hand. Got myself some sugar. And went off after that damn book. I found the book but before I could take it, I had to say the wise man's magic words. Look, maybe I didn't say every single little tiny syllable, No. But basically I said 'em, yeah. Thats when all hell broke loose. Leading this Army of Darkness was an evil version of myself. Now there were two of us after that blasted book. I let him have it. With the Army of Darkness defeated and hte book in hand, the wise man created a potion that would send me back home to my own time. It worked for the most part anyway. Sure I could've stayed in the past. Could've been King. But in my own way, I am King. Hail to the King, Baby."
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