I DON'T ADD STRANGERS! Can you dig my vibrations? LOOKOUT, I'M USIN' TECHNOLOGY! YOU GOTTA BE A FRIEND IN THE REAL WORLD IF YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND IN THE CYBER WORLD! You turned me on, now you can't turn me off. Now dig this: I'm the boss with the hot sauce! There's still sap in my trunk. What you do in private is your own business but call me if you need help. I GOT A NOTION FOR BEING IN MOTION, I GOT A FEELIN' FOR ROCKIN' AND REELIN'. This is not a phase. I want the most but I'll take the least. Some like it haute: tight pants, groovy shirts, sharp shoes about gets it. Don't offer me drugs. I've got a reputation as one of the fastest men alive: just give me a good beat. I can really shake 'em down. I make do with what is instead of complaining about what isn't. I'm an amateur nutritionist; I'll advise you. I support WFMU, NPR and PBS. I collect records (not just any records: got to be rock 'n' roll music). If they could see me now-- they'd lower the volume. Lemon, garlic, onion, cinnamon, please. Sports? Get the puck outta here! Food: burnt. Invite me to a barbeque and I'll do most of the grilling. I'm known for my Italian sausage. You've got hands; use them. You're gonna need oven mitts. I'm a 60-minute man. I'm sure hard to handle. Expect the unexpected. In New York City, we do the nitty gritty! Devoted to: Smashed!Blocked!, Wows!ville a Go Go, Subway Soul, Os Debutantes Ball, UpTight, Garage Hangover, Deadly Nightshade, Radio Heartbeat, PopGear. Thank you, friends; couldn't do it if it wasn't for you. Do the jerk. Tighten up on the organ. Come a little bit closer.With me anything is possible expect boredom. I'm holding my own. I'm glad to hang. I have to know you to add you. Got a band? I'll do the inviting. A good man like me is hard to find. Relief is just a swallow away.
An accomplice, swell folk, well-adjusted people, clever bastards, smart cookies, cool jerks, friendly dogs, eager beavers, a pretty face that hides an evil mind, a devil in a blue dress, rockin' gals, dancin' little things, a mammer jammer, soul kind of loving, agressive women ('cause I'm shy), chicks with slick tricks, a real good cup of coffee. Anyone with a hands on approach. I'll teach you how to read the book of life; or you can just look at the pictures if you like.
I DON'T ADD MUSICIANS I NEVER HEARD OF. IF MUSCIANS TRY TO ADD ME, I'LL JOIN, POST A BULLETIN ON YOUR SPACE SAYING YOU INVITED ME EVEN THOUGH I SAID NOT TO, THEN DELETE YOU. I HOPE THAT IS CLEAR ENOUGH. So even if you sound as good as the following, don't try it: Louis Jordan, Chuck Berry, Little Willie John, Fats Domino, Little Richard, Bo Diddley, Hank Ballard, James Brown, Andre Williams (a black R&B singer, not Andy Williams), The Coasters, Big Joe Turner, Louis Prima, Wynonie Harris, Elvis P., Buddy Holly, Jerry Lee Lewis, Eddie Cochran, Gene Vincent, Link Wray, Everly Bros., Johnny Cash, Roy Orbison, Wanda Jackson.Bobby Fuller 4, Shangri-Las, the girl groups, Isley Bros.,The Beach Boys, Mitch Ryder, Sir Douglas Quintet, Question Mark & the Mysterians, Barry & the Remains, Dutchbeat, Rolling Stones, The Kinks, The Who, The Yardbirds, Love, pre-disco Bee Gees, The Byrds, Buffalo Springfied, The Pretty Things, Dave Clark 5, Kingsmen, The Animals, The Ventures, THE SONICS, mod Bob Dylan, The Zombies, Lovin' Spoonful, The Monkees, Young Rascals, Johnny Rivers, Paul Revere & Raiders, NANCY Sinatra. Sly & the Family Stone, Aretha Franklin, King Coleman, Nathiel Mayer, Gino Washington, Mighty Hannibal, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Spirit, FLAMIN' GROOVIES, Moby Grape (NOT "Moby"), Velvet Underground/John Cale, MC5, Stooges/Iggy Pop, NY Dolls, Todd Rundgren. Modern Lovers, "Ziggy"-era Bowie, Slade, T-Rex, NRBQ, Big Star, Raspberries, Badfinger. Nick Lowe, Graham Parker, Cheap Trick, The Dictators, Ramones, Cramps, Blondie, Radio Birdman, dB's, Paul Collins' Beat, Plimsouls, Slickee Boys, The Last, Fleshtones, DMZ, Lyres, The Real Kids, Los Lobos,The Blasters, Gun Club, The Stems, Hoodoo Gurus, The Smithereens, Dave Herrera's bands like the Cheepskates, Sid Griffin/The Coal Porters, Young Fresh Fellows, Swingin' Neckbreakers, Untamed Youth/Deke Dickerson, The Smugglers, The Woggles.INSANITY WAVE, Teenage Fanclub, Sloan, DM3, Supergrass, The Posies, Richard X. Heyman, Velvet Crush, Jellyfish, Liquor Giants, Jason Falkner, The Grip Weeds, Stalkers, Subway Surfers, A-Bones, A-Sides, The Barracudas, Southern Culture on the Skids, The Friggs/Palmya's bands, anything involving Mic-Lo, Sit N Spin, Insomniacs, Anything People, High School Sweethearts, Kowalskis, The Blue Van, The Mockers, The Dansettes. Hank Williams, Ernest Tubb, Muddy Waters, Jimmy Reed, John Lee Hooker, BB King, Howlin' Wolf [summed it up in a few words], blues in general. Soul from Stax, Motown and tiny forgotten labels. Second line, greasy R&B, ferocious instrumentals, doo wop in small doses. Beatles [not just their animated TV show], Neil Young [not just as part of Buffalo Springfield].
(Assume orignal not remake): Buster Keaton, Alfred Hitchcock, Scorsese of course, Palm Beach Story, Bedazzled, Harper, The Loved One, Danger Diabolik!,The Wrong Box, The Impossible Years, Don't Make Waves, After the Fox, I Sailed to Tahiti With an All-Girl Crew, Morgan!, Our Man in Havana, That Man From Rio, Where Were You When the Lights Went Out? What's So Bad About Feeling Good? Deadlier Than the Male, Sunday In New York, It Happened to Jane, Citizen Kane, Detour, Singin' In the Rain, Our Man Flint, Zotz!, Lord Love a Duck, Wild in the Streets, Casino Royale, Promsie Her Anything.Sweet Charity, Modesty Blaise, Shaft, Buckaroo Banzai, Sky Captian & the World of Tomorrow, Black Orpheus, Candy, Preston Sturges, Mean Streets, any Marx Bros., Universal and Hammer horror, Warner Bros. animation, 3 Stooges, It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, Hellzapoppin'. The Wheeler Dealers, Charade, Odd Couple, Some Like It Hot, French Connection, Skidoo, The Producers, Arsenic and Old Lace, The Magic Christian, Any Number Can Win, Beach Blanket Bingo, The Great Race, Murder My Sweet, Maltese Falcon, Good Neighbor Sam, Wattstax, Kiss Me Stupid, Quick Before It Melts, What's Up Tiger Lily?, Who's Minding the Mint?, The Tiger Makes Out, 10th Victim, Switchblade Sisters, Mysterious Dr. Satan, Bonnie & Clyde, The Ipcress File, Taking of Pelham 123, Blade Runner,The Knack and How to Get It. I obviously spent too much time with the 4:30 Movie as a child.
Man From UNCLE, I Spy, The Prisoner, Secret Agent, The Avengers, Green Hornet, Addams Family, Ernie Kovacs, Kim Possible, Squigglevision, SCTV, The Simpsons, Heroes.
Mark Twain (American literature starts here), James Ellroy, Lawrence Block, Walter Mosley, Dorothy Hughes, the bloody pulps, Jim Thompson, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Jules Verne, Nick Tosches, Peter Guralnick, Shakespeare. Dashiell Hammett, Raymond Chandler, Ian Fleming, Edgar Rice Burroughs, Lester Dent/Kenneth Robeson, Sax Rohmer, Kim Newman, Philip Jose Farmer, Alfred Bester, AMAZING ADVENTURES OF KAVALIER & CLAY
John F. Kennedy, Gandhi, Abe Lincoln, FDR, Dr. King, Phil Spector, James Coburn, Gomez Addams, Patrick Henry (namesake!), the Hound, Pat Paulsen (namesake!).