Susanna profile picture

Susanna

I am here for Friends

About Me

i have a very dichotomous personality: i work hard, but i play harder. i'm cynical, sarcastic and misanthropic, yet one helluva nice person to those who merit it. i am prone to bouts of extreme silliness, and yet i also love offending people who need to be offended. i have no patience for bullshit (including -- but certainly not limited to -- gossip/drama, dishonesty, ignorance, people who try too hard to impress others in order compensate for their insecurities - a.k.a. attention whores, and guys who talk to me just to hit on me), so, as a great man once said, "be nice or fuck off!""Of course the people don't want war. But after all, it's the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to greater danger." -Herman Goering at the Nuremberg trials
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." -Benjamin Franklin"I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues." -Dr. Seuss........

My Interests

MY WONDERFUL HUSBAND!!!! my son - Eddie "Ace" Malcolm Simon, cooking/eating, sleeping, movies, cats, otters, lemurs, raptors, outdoorsie stuff, misanthropy, sarcasm, listening to loud obnoxious music (preferably live) while drinking Stoli and tonic, hotel room mosh pits, getting tackled by JFS when he's had too many shots, '69 camaros (or '68, i'm not picky), singing, playing guitar (even though i'm really bad), traveling, NPR, environmentalism, container gardening (i'd have a real garden if i had a real yard), bitching about the government ( especially George "I put the 'DUH' in Dubya" Bush ) and society in general (see "misanthropy" above), (writing things parenthetically), thinking of creative ways to slack off while at work.

I'd like to meet:

i'd like to meet intelligent people with similar interests...and Nora the Piano-Playing Cat:
i'm really not interested in adding more bands who will only post about shows that are 3,000 miles away from me, or people who are just trying to get free advertising for their company, or other people who are only going to post bulletins like "new pics - please comment." oh, and i don't want to meet anyone who's going to put sparkly messages in my comments. sparkles (especially pink sparkles) give me a headache.
Also, Nazis, married guys who troll myspace for chicks (and/or certain clueless guys who don't seem to notice that I AM VERY HAPPILY MARRIED) and other assorted assholes should keep moving.

Music:

a little of everything, but mostly all forms of rock: Black Sabbath, Misfits, AC/DC, Judas Priest, Ozzy w/Randy Rhoads, Slayer, Bad Brains, The Damned, The Cramps, Dwarves, The Clash, Turbonegro, pre-black album Metallica, Strapping Young Lad, Zimmers Hole, Motorhead, Zeke, Hellacopters, Mastodon, Opeth, The Haunted, High on Fire, GWAR, Entombed, Iggy and The Stooges, David Bowie (except for Let's Dance--blech), old Suicidal Tendencies, pre-short haired Chris Cornell Soundgarden, Faith No More, Ramones, Radiohead, Beck, X, Ministry, KMFDM, Iron Maiden, Dimmu Borgir, Hypocrisy, some Carcass, Witchery, Prong, Testament, Pantera, that Morbid Angel song where Evil Dave sings "Bow to me faithfullyyyyy..." and some other MA, Dio, Rainbow, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Scorpions (especially when having blender drinks!), Siouxsie and the Banshees, Skinny Puppy, Dead Can Dance, Cocteau Twins, Cheap Trick, Blondie, James Brown, Fatboy Slim, Reverend Horton Heat, Pasty Cline, Patty Griffin, Rasputina, Hellblock 6, Tapping the Vein, Stinking Lizavetta, STRIGA!, Dysrhythmia, Bad Fuckin' Wizard, Priestess...the list goes on...in general, songs about angst, Satan, and/or kickin' some ass.

Movies:

all Coen Brothers, all Tim Burton, This Is Spinal Tap, Lord Of The Rings Trilogy, The Shawshank Redemption, Dr. Strangelove, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Donnie Darko, Ghost World, Blade Runner, American Beauty, The Shining, The Usual Suspects, Star Wars Episodes IV And V Only, A Clockwork Orange, American Movie, Robo Cop, Repo Man, Re-animator, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Caddyshack, most Troma films (all about the cheese, baby), Fear of a Black Hat, Brazil, City of Lost Children, Cinema Paradiso, Amelie, Seventh Seal, Seven Samurai (that's it for the seven movies), Dead Man, Falling Down, South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut, The Royal Tenenbaums, Clerks, Bubba Ho-Tep, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Bad Santa, Friday, Finding Nemo.

Television:

The Simpsons (best. show. ever.), Seinfeld, Daily Show & Colbert Report (the only reasons I'm making it through the Bush Years), Absolutely Fabulous, Nature, Nova (and most everything on PBS), Insomniac, Space Ghost Coast to Coast, Family Guy, Batman (campy 60s version), Monty Python's Flying Circus, The Muppet Show, National Geographic Explorer, History Channel (except stuff about tanks and fighter jets, yawn), Antiques Roadshow (really), Mystery Science Theater 3000, original Twilight Zone, the Tick (animated version), Kids in the Hall, original Star Trek, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, pretty much anything on Animal Planet, Trailer Park Boys (another reason to move to Canada), Curb Your Enthusiasm, Wonder Showzen and MXC: Most Extreme Elimination Challenge! Get it on!

Books:

Modern Drunkard magazine, anything by Kurt Vonnegut, Jack Kerouac, Stephen King, A.E. Poe, political humor/satire (e.g. The Onion, Dave Barry and Al Franken), historical fiction (like The Grapes of Wrath and Cold Mountain), The Great Gatsby, To Kill a Mockingbird, Geek Love, Crime and Punishment, A Clockwork Orange, The Color Purple, Interview with the Vampire, In Cold Blood, A Brief History of Time, Pigs in Heaven, Franny and Zooey, Tales of an Ugly Stepsister, Morality Play, Mists of Avalon, Farenheit 451, The Handmaid's Tale.

Heroes:

Jed, my friends, my grandmother, The Dalai Lama, George Carlin, Mae West, Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes), Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, Cliff Yablonski , Big Bunny , and
The Flying Spaghetti Monster!..

My Blog

Happy 6 month birthday, Eddie!

Wow, it's hard to believe it's been 6 months since Eddie has come into our life. In a way, it's been slow and difficult, but overall time has really flown! Sometimes it's been really hard, especially:...
Posted by Susanna on Fri, 30 Nov 2007 05:40:00 PST

Edward Malcolm Simon

My little bundle of joy and future head banger -- Edward Malcolm Simon -- was born on May 29, 2007 at 12:36 pm. Giving birth was tough, but taking care of a newborn is even tougher! I haven't been o...
Posted by Susanna on Tue, 12 Jun 2007 04:05:00 PST

It's hard to get my mind around the thought...

...that in 6 weeks (or less!), Jed and I will be parents.Weird. Definitely exciting, definitely scary, and definitely weird.
Posted by Susanna on Wed, 25 Apr 2007 05:06:00 PST

that pretty much sums it up...

I'm Drunk And Naked On MySpace! Plus, more great reasons you can never run for office. Also: Are teens insanely boring? By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist Friday, April 6, 2007 Upon the hot heavy-pet...
Posted by Susanna on Fri, 06 Apr 2007 12:11:00 PST

my very first "letter to the editor"

I sent this e-mail to the Editor in Chief of the Philadelphia Inquirer today, after reading a story called "Trapping the Varmints," which can be found here: http://www.philly.com/mld/philly/news/16666...
Posted by Susanna on Tue, 13 Feb 2007 05:40:00 PST

The first blog of 2007

So, here we are at the beginning of 2007, and I haven't written anything since the summer. Makes it seem like it's because my life is extremely busy (or extremely mundane), instead of just because I ...
Posted by Susanna on Mon, 01 Jan 2007 11:36:00 PST

metal out the arse

The past few weeks have been insane (in a good way).  On the 6th, the boys in Savannah played at the Barbary.  We hung out with them the night before at their hotel room, although we couldn'...
Posted by Susanna on Mon, 25 Sep 2006 12:17:00 PST

Tales of Tourbus Travels

Although, there really isn't much to tell... Spent the last 4 days travelling with Jed on the SYL bus.  Here's the summary: SYL are the best band at Ozzfest.   No other band even comes ...
Posted by Susanna on Mon, 31 Jul 2006 07:40:00 PST

Finally: The Mexico Blog!

Better late than never!Our trip to Mexico was our belated Honeymoon (if you don't count seeing The Haunted and Meshuggah in Allentown the night after the wedding!!), since Jed had to leave for to...
Posted by Susanna on Mon, 17 Jul 2006 03:01:00 PST

Pre-Mexico Metal Mayhem

I decided that I really need to finally post my Mexico blog, since it's already almost July, and so much has gone on in my life, that I'm liable to forget some highlights (and I know you would all be ...
Posted by Susanna on Mon, 26 Jun 2006 05:48:00 PST