When a man's best friend is his dog,
that dog has a problem.
- Edward Abbey
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
-Andy Rooney
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous,
he will not bite you; that is the principal difference
between a dog and a man.
-Mark Twain
Dogs would make totally incompetent criminals.
If you could somehow get a group of dogs to understand the concept of the Kennedy assassination, they would all immediately confess to it.
Whereas you'll never see a cat display any kind of guilty behavior,
despite the fact that several cats were seen in Dallas
on the grassy knoll area, not that I wish to start rumors.
-Dave Barry
www.TheAnimalRescueSite.com
Humans think they're funny.
Revenge soon.
Stupid cats!
Stupid dogs!
TOP DOG PET PEEVES ABOUT HUMANS
When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.
Blaming your farts on me...not funny.
Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!!
How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone.
(Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat butt?)
Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly who's walk is this anyway?
Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it.
Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet.
Why'd you buy carpet?
Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet...idiot.
How you act disgusted when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.
Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur?
Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.
Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
When you pick up the crap piles in the yard.
Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?
Taking me to the vet for "the big snip",
then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.
The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog!
What a proud moment for the top of the food chain, you turd.