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Joanne

Internet Dating Coach/Writer Seeks Other Writers

About Me

ARE YOU IN LOSERDATE.COM HELL?Was that you trying to escape out the ladies room window at the restaurant when your internet date showed up 2 inches shorter, 15 pounds heavier, all moony-eyed and droning? Did you give him the benefit of the doubt because your action had slowed down? Have the phrases "I can't believe my life!" or "What the hell am I doing...again???" become your dating mantra? Believe me, I've been there.Once you acquire the skills to screen, read between the lines of profiles and detect red flags within minutes, bad dates will fade away like you wished most of your previous dates had. When you tell guys you're in the habit of walking away from anyone who is deceptive with their pics or profile, he'll be off the phone real quick if he's not for real. On the flip side, why did she let you pay for dinner, seem like she was all into you but blew you off the next day? Is she a serial dater, psycho, or did you just act like an asshole and didn't realize it? Key questions will tell you what you're in for before you waste anymore time and energy.My monthly internet dating advice column is the result of more than 300 dates over a 6 year span (lafamilylife.com - under community - pseudonym Jonna Welles). My upcoming self-help memoir is nearing completion.End the trapeze acts in cyberspace. My coaching makes it easy with quick results.YOU DESERVE BETTER! Contact me first instead of the one you'll obsess over for the next two weeks - www.askjonna.comP.S. Guys, please only contact me for coaching, networking or friendship. I'm no longer on the dating market. I finally took my own advice. Layout Provided By LayoutsPlus.com - Browse Layouts

My Interests

writing endlessly, music, concerts, art galleries, coaching, fashion, the exquisiteness of purple, dance (clubs but my living room works as well), indie flicks,foreign films, photography, antiques, reading,eclectic food, anime, tattoos, interior design, quantum physics,meditation, ESP, vintage collecting (perfume bottles, elephants, dolls, shoes, pocketbooks) travel, alternativehealth and nutrition, psychology, yoga, intense evolving relationships, exploring, waterfalls, visualization,thunderstorms, being totally present, real friends, kindred spirits, karmic awareness, the absurd, theslightly dented, smell of gardenias, leather and lait sucre....

I'd like to meet:

Other writers, Johnny Depp, Jonna Welles, Carl Jung, My Twin, Jack Kerouac, Lenny Bruce, William Burroughs, Diane Arbus, Erica Jong, Mick Jagger, Andy Warhol, Angelina Jolie, Mary Quant, Diane von Furstenberg, cool, creative people, literary agents, publishers ANDanyone in need of internet dating coaching:www.askjonna.comTHE LAW OF ATTRACTION: Your thoughts create your reality. Keep your vibrations high by feeling good, no matter what. Focus your attention on what you desire and try not to think negatively (the universe doesn't know the difference between what you want, don't want, but only what you think about). So your thoughts will manifest your destiny. Create, Visualize,Stay in Action and always, always be Grateful!...

Music:

Not in any particular order: Garbage, PJ Harvey, She Wants Revenge, Annie Lennox, The Cramps, Velvet Underground, Stones, Blondie, Massive Attack, The Dickies, Dead Kennedys, Patty Smith, Suzi Quatro, Muddy Waters, Placebo, Smashing Pumpkins,Journey, Holly Golightly, Audioslave, Cat Power, The Who, TheYardbirds, The Motels, Santana, Macy Video and Image Hosting" Gray, Hendrix, Curtis Mayfield, Dandy Warhols, Depeche Mode, Tom Waits, U2, Aerosmith, Bowie, The Smiths, TheMonkees, Elvis Costello, Alice Cooper, Stevie Ray Vaughan, The Knack, Cream, Dylan,Elliot Smith, T.Rex, Earth, Wind & Fire, Beth Orton, Nico, Ben Harper, Cat Stevens, The Pretenders Dido, Nick Cave, White Stripes, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Prince, Roxy Music, Lou Reed, Fleetwood Mac, Iggy Pop,The Ramones, NY Dolls, Johnny Thunders, KCRW, Dance, Jazz, Disco,Glam, Soul, Funk, Boomkat, Gwen Stefani, Moody Blues, Alicia Keyes, The Doors, Portishead, The Pixies, Lit Soul,Sonic Youth, Tom Petty, Iggy and the Stooges, Kiss, Sex Pistols, The Subways, Cyndi Lauper,Morrissey, Billie Holiday, Green Day, The Cult, Grateful Dead, Deep Purple, The Clash, Allman Brothers, Zeppelin, Daft Punk, Queen, Nina Simone, AC/DC, Lucinda Williams, Beck, Free, Soundgarden, Coldplay, Duran Duran, The Cars, Brian Eno, Flaming Lips, Frank Zappa Yeah, Yeah Yeahs, Radiohead, Janis Joplin, The Police, Love and Rockets, INXS, X, Pink Floyd, Beatles, Collective Soul, TinaTurner, to be cont."She's got everything she needs. She's an artist, she don't look back....She can take the dark out of nighttime and paint the daytime black" - BOB DYLAN"If you're truly wild at heart you will fight for your dreams" - PRINCE...

Movies:

Dirty Dancing, Pulp Fiction, Wizard of Oz, Streetcar Named Desire, Flashdance, Garden State, Wings of Desire, Droptarget="_blank" Dead Fred, Amelie, Someone Like You, Frankie and Johnny, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Thelma and Louise, Drugstore Cowboy, The Great Gatsby, Taxi Driver,Hysterical Blindness Kissing Jessica Stein, My Cousin Vinny, Breakfast at Tiffanys, Girl Interruped, Arthur, Requiem for a Dream, Personal Velocity, Ghost, Big Easy, Body Heat, 9 1/2 Weeks, Devil's Advocate, Saturday Night Fever, Valley ofthe Dolls, As Good as it Gets, Clockwork Orange, Sea ofLove, Rosemary's Baby, Cat On a Hot Tin Roof, Gone With the Wind, Carlito's Way, The Good-bye Girl,One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Johnny Depp movies/Pacino/Deniro movies... mspmb allowScriptAccess="never" allowNetworking="internal" enableJSURL="false" enableHREF="false" saveEmbedTags="true"

Television:

HBO & Showtime, Grey's Anatomy, Weeds, Sopranos, Sex and the City reruns, L Word, pay per view boxing, Oprah, Will & Grace reruns, Desperate Housewives....

Heroes:

Jackie O, Helen Keller, My Son, My Mother, Warhol, Jung, Sydney, Tommy, Oprah, anyone who has overcome horrific obstacles and is still standing and thriving, people driven by their souls' desires; women over 40 who are still amazingly hot, content in their lives and making a mark on the world;anyone who can reinvent themselves.

My Blog

Atrocities of Male Minds on Dating Sites

    IN A PERFECT WORLD, THESE GUYS WOULD BE RELEGATED TO LOSERDATE.COM. READ ON TO UNCOVER THE ATROCITIES OF MALE MINDS.   1)  Mr. Wide Open  He is 33 and will date a woman ...
Posted by Joanne on Fri, 27 Oct 2006 09:30:00 PST

First Dates

"I Look Better in Person": First DatesBy Jonna Welles   The aftermath of one of your first Internet dates might go something like this: Did he like me? Did I really like him? I need to...
Posted by Joanne on Fri, 27 Oct 2006 09:09:00 PST

Knowing Your Internet Dating Needs

"I Look Better in Person": Knowing your NeedsBy Jonna Welles   Before you begin your quest for Mr. Right Online, you must know what you are looking for in a partner. Do not settle for l...
Posted by Joanne on Fri, 27 Oct 2006 09:05:00 PST