Alan

Nice guy, vaguely amusing** honest (sometimes brutally so), trustworthy, reliable (the good kind, not the dull kind), a little more naughty than my friends think and a little less naughty than strangers assume...** I've got a dirty mind and a wicked tongue and am the guest most likely to be invited to a night out with your mother followed by a night out with my girls due to my: a) overwhelming charm and b) ability to turn everything around me into a little puddle of sexual innuendo...but it's all good and, if you've got a cute little Texas mother like mine, yours will never realize what or how much she missed in the conversation** I've recently discovered that, now that I'm a little older (and hopefully a little wiser), when I go out and drink too much, I no longer wake up next to semi-attractive strangers...now I wake up with receipts from Mrs. Field's cookies - always 2, and always chocolate dipped...** Callipygian? yup** not a body nazi...I work out (swim, lift, cardio, hike) like mad, but only so I can eat, date a little and have sex every now and then. Be in some sort of good shape...and able to deter my cravings for sweets towards something better for me (or at least towards something warm that I can cuddle with afterwards)** little girls still look at me like I'm dreamy.** unlike every freakin broad that is trying to be Miss America, I HATE Catcher in the Rye - I think it's a bloody painful thing to read...and I'm a total reader.** i miss loving someone**i have the most remarkable and varied groups of friends you'll ever find. they span the world, and they're each near and dear to my heart. i value these groups of friendships because, despite the masses, they are made predominately of very close relationships with each individual person. remember, I was the 5th grader that would send out 600 christmas cards...and only about 100 in my own little town. my heart is large, but my patience for "fair weather" or flaky "friends" is short. this is my family we're discussing.** pool parties are my downfall...every time. I get excited, I drink too much and then I want to play in the water - a LOT. Nobody enjoys playing in the water as much as me...and it's a little pathetic. At pool parties I'm the drunk 8 yr old.** and lastly...if sex if all you have to offer, I'm not the boy for you...I can pick that up at Ralph's