Last year. |
I had won fifty dollars playing poker in the Bronx, but by the time the game was over it was already 3AM. It would be impossible to find a bus or a street car at that hour to get home. My friend sugg...
Posted by Abe Heller on Wed, 18 Jun 2008 07:14:00 PST |
Prunes. |
Mother kept a produce stall at the local market, and recently bought a sack of prunes from a distributor. When she examined the prunes, however, she found them full of worms. Without loss of time she...
Posted by Abe Heller on Sun, 15 Jun 2008 01:30:00 PST |
Pre-shave. |
Before I got dressed today, I punched myself dutifully in the stomach; a tried and true method to soften the bristles, and then I looked in the mirror and said "GO!!!" Perhaps due to my adv...
Posted by Abe Heller on Sat, 14 Jun 2008 12:38:00 PST |
Patrol. |
This morning a rooster popped up behind the little egg nest I've been building, where I store my small camera placed gently with the eggs and mail correspondence on the exterior window ...
Posted by Abe Heller on Fri, 13 Jun 2008 09:49:00 PST |
One-price grocery store. |
As a customer who doesn't like to bargain, I recently ventured into a slightly out of the way grocery store one morning for my banana. "I don't like bargaining, that's why I'm here," I told the groce...
Posted by Abe Heller on Fri, 13 Jun 2008 07:41:00 PST |
Sams Delicatessen. |
Very few customers came to eat at Sam's delicatessen. And the weeks rolled by and Sam earned very little money. There was a long meat counter with some good, red beef in it. Once a customer asked Sam...
Posted by Abe Heller on Thu, 12 Jun 2008 10:37:00 PST |
Big Baby. |
So they were down to three contestants walking off the street like a triumvirate of Silly Putty brand scientists looking for a spare room at the same time, all of them my former classmates. They...
Posted by Abe Heller on Wed, 11 Jun 2008 10:08:00 PST |
Dukes |
Mother made two fists and tried to lighten the mood by saying "Put up your dukes!" I DID put up my dukes. Mother landed a fast left hook square center on my chin. She said, "That's n...
Posted by Abe Heller on Mon, 09 Jun 2008 07:49:00 PST |
Quagmire. |
I vomited a splash of printing ink, whitewash, and decorative paint while at the restaurant, leaving multicolored puddles everywhere. The waiter returned from the vibrating doorway carrying a re...
Posted by Abe Heller on Sun, 08 Jun 2008 11:18:00 PST |
Bicycle |
Her mother had come from Poland as a child and her father from Hungary. My wife was the first person in either family to go to college, majoring in Anthropology. But she was a poor scholar...
Posted by Abe Heller on Sat, 07 Jun 2008 12:56:00 PST |
