Am a regular participant in the ever-lasting Wacky Races alongside Dastardly and Muttley. Obsessed with winning by foul means we use a host of unsporting devices such as saws on wheels, oil spills, giant magnets and elaborately contrived plots such as this....." This toy soldier, Muttley, has a line with a cork, on which is a lighted wick.... The soldier will march and fall into that hole in the road... The cork will plug the hole, bringing the wick up to light the fuse which leads to the dynamite attached to the bottom of that tank which is filled with .......choc-o-late fudge..and when it explodes, the cars below will become gooey choc-o-late fudge...... Bua-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Haaaaaaa! "...but will probably backfire...Drat and Double Drrrrat ..and thus allowing Muttley to do his trademark wheezing snicker..." Snckn-Fstn-Mckn-Snckn-Wawa-Grr "
Joss Stone and Catherine Zeta-Jones - Just so I can slap them as they get on my nerves .... The Banana Splits - One banana, two banana, three banana, four, flipping like a pancake, popping like a cork....Ah yes..Fleegle, Bingo, Drooper and Snork, looking like what you might see if you watch Hanna-Barbera cartoons after eating chemicals in all their over-sized luminous, grinning glory...... Paul Whitehouse - " Oooh Suit You..does she look at you sir? All doe-eyed..like a frightened deer in a woodland glade..cornered by the hounds? " Cliff Richard - so I can challenge him to a game of tennis. I'm rubbish at tennis but I think I could take him.The cast of Rainbow. Zippy in particular as he's so naughty. "Oh no Geoffrey..I don't want the zip, I'm very sorry, i won't do it any more ". Bungle, the tattle-tale who permanently has his hands on his hips saying "It's just not fair" & George, the pale pink hippopotamus cross-dresser on Valium, who usually sides with Bungle when it looks as though Zippy is about to get zipped.I'd also like to meet The Phantom Flan Flinger, that mischievous masked marauder in trenchcoat and hat, and finally Zebedee - half tomato, half industrial spring, who also sports a rather fantastic handlebar moustache. Has a habit of turning up at the end of the Magic Roundabout and telling you to go to bed.
This week, I are be mostly listening to the following choons and artists - The Rembrandts with "I'll Be There For You" - Well....with Friends like these.....Simon and Garfunkel with "The Sounds Of Silence" - If Frasier Crane were a song he would sound like this. Vanilla Ice - the white boy to end all white boys. Kansas and Asia - beware of all bands named after states or continents. Man'O'War - none more metal, none more gay. Starship - they built this city on Rock & Roll & Crap and finally the Gypsy Kings - the curse of many a late 80's dinner party.
Proud owner of a Scooby Doo feature-length cartoon DVD collection. My favourite four 30 year-old teenage snitches and their talking dog the size of a small cow. " Like ZOIKS!!! It's the ghost!!! " ......." The Roast? Raaaaaagy!!! Rooby Rooby Roo! " ....Hmm..i think i'm beginning to figure out this kooky deep-freeze mystery...
Today....i shall be watching Hong Kong Phooey - Number one super guy...quicker than the human eye...when the going gets rough ..he's super-tough, with a Hong Kong Phooey Chop! Haaaa! ....Jamie and the Magic Torch - Well...like many boys, Jamie has a secret under his bed. But in his case it's not a dissected mouse, a caterpillar in a matchbox or an abandoned sandwich. No. It's a torch. But..not any old torch. When Jamie shines it at the carpet, a hole appears & accompanied by his dog Wordsworth, he shoots down a giant Helter-Skelter and into Cuckoo Land. Marvellous! Oh and i'll also be watching Top Cat. Yes...that smooth talking New York alley cat from the 13th precinct in a purple waistcoat and hat, through which his cat ears protrude in a beguiling fashion. He tips waiters with a coin on a string, steals his morning newspaper and jumps onto the back of taxis. TC lives in a trash can & uses Officer Dibble's police phone as his own. As the theme choon testifies... (SINGS) " He's the boss, he's a VIP, he's the championship.He's the most tip-top.....Top Cat "
My bookcase's content includes these titles.. Dr Seuss's Fox In Socks, The Whopping Great Big Bonkers Joke Book, SpongeBob SquarePants in " Zoo Day Disaster "....a few back copies of Viz and a Grange Hill annual from 1979.
Shaggy and Scooby - For making giant milkshakes & multi-layered burgers the size of traffic cones.