Ahmet Pretti (CCP) - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Founding member of the CCP (Canine Comedy Posse). Recently purchased the exclusive copyright on the popular question "Where's the Donkey Show?" and will be setting up numerous t-shirt booths along the U.S./Mexican border. Every few weeks I trim my pubic hair, put them in a bag, and head to my favorite used book store to disperse a few hairs at a time in random books. After discovery, I want people to ponder whether the hair was used as bookmarks or if people had sex with an open book on the bed and the stray hair fell naturally in between the pages. I think the bearded owner is catching on though (it's possible he inspected the hairs in his vacuum cleaner "dat ain't my color") and I've found the need to become much more covert. Enjoy 'Digging a Hole' by Suede while urinating, being an active member of the International Archery Association (Jean from France is our smelly Branch Team Captain), and anything involving orgasm.Currently writing a book entitled 'Building a Lifetime of White Trash Moments' which touches on the following subjects: macaroni & cheese with sliced hot dogs from Stater Brothers, bag of crystal meth, jean shorts and a tank tops, ugly dog, still drinking breast milk as a teenager, Jiff peanut butter, sneaking into water parks, bowl of Lay's, incest, food stamps, cartoons on tv, kiss obese mother on asshole, sugary cereal, High Life twelve-pack cans, masturbating to posters of Joey Lawrence, and chewing tobacco habit. Actively looking for 'The Flamer' by Cheap Trick on Myspace.

My Interests

Comedy (stand up, writing, character sketches, putting celebrities in my act without consent or prior knowledge), Sports (pick up basketball, surfing, Chargers season tix with my brother "this is the year. If not, at least we'll get to drink together alot" Or should that be "drink alot together"?. Yes, we drink and drink and drink again!), Travel (out of the country cus the states are a pain in the arse), T-shirt design, tequila shots with beer chasers. Hangin wit Mr. Jokey and cleaning BBQ sauce off his mouth.

I'd like to meet:

Poncer De Leon in the afterlife. He'll be the guy in the corner with a frustrated fey smile on his face. And the blackest man in the world.

Music:

Shack, Sing-Sing, Yabby U, The Revolutionaries, Augustus Pablo, Israel Vibes, Peel Sessions (Pulp and Lush), Culture, and trying to get into Clearlake

Movies:

Salo ("ok, gather around children, it's story time. Will again be accompanied by piano. Just relax...and eat that piece of shit off the floor right now!")

Television:

http://www.lgcommercial.com/product.php?id=175

Books:

Recent purchases and soon to be devoured: This is Reggae Music (The Story of Jamaica's Music), Dk Eyewitness Top 10 Travel Guides Barcelona Spain, Eyewitness Travel Guides Morocco, Fodor's Escape to Morocco

Heroes:

Mark Occhilupo, Clem Snide (Private Ass Hole), Maynard (RIP), Tito in West LA, Richard Pryor (RIP), Reminders (RIP)

My Blog

WWII Skit

Really in the mood to do some type of WWII skit. It could be ten minutes. No color cept dull green and greys. We could talk in German without actually speaking German, cus I don't know German. No need...
Posted by Ahmet Pretti (CCP) on Thu, 02 Oct 2008 03:35:00 PST

The Wagon

Been on the wagon* since Sunday, cus I had a complete shocker that night. Ya know so drunk you, conveniently, can't remember what happened. Yeah, one of those shockers. What else (that questio...
Posted by Ahmet Pretti (CCP) on Fri, 19 Sep 2008 05:03:00 PST

Silly Boy Blue

After watching (that man) Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars Motion Picture for the first time the other night* and thinking about how beautiful snowflakes look slowly falling to the earth, deci...
Posted by Ahmet Pretti (CCP) on Sat, 13 Sep 2008 02:04:00 PST

If I had a talking picture of you would I need you?"

Ev been buying more books lately. This bloggoid title is from a photography book I just purchased entitled 'Sidetripping' by Charles Gatewood. My favorite man, my main man William S. Burroughs provi...
Posted by Ahmet Pretti (CCP) on Fri, 12 Sep 2008 06:09:00 PST

Utopia, comedy contests, and the end of the summer

Well, if there's one thing I've really loved this summer it's dub reggae and Goldfrapp. Wait, is that two things or since they are both music can they be combined into one (English teachers in the hou...
Posted by Ahmet Pretti (CCP) on Fri, 05 Sep 2008 09:02:00 PST

No Feelings

Anyone watch Dr. Phil? Oprah? Sally Jesse Raphael? I don't. All they talk about is "gettin in touch with your feelings". People spend all day, every day watching those shows and pretty soon all t...
Posted by Ahmet Pretti (CCP) on Tue, 19 Aug 2008 07:01:00 PST

Summertime Fun

Ok, summertime is for basking in the sun, new friends, and new experiences. Here are my favorite summer associations ever: Books · JG Ballard '...
Posted by Ahmet Pretti (CCP) on Fri, 15 Aug 2008 08:21:00 PST

Busier than a three legged cat covering up a pile

God, I'm so busy and making gobs* of money right now (not gloating, just happy cus Q1 was dogshit). Thinking about Vizio 50" Plasmas with 30,000:1 contrast ratio, Audi convertibles, and weekend getawa...
Posted by Ahmet Pretti (CCP) on Thu, 14 Aug 2008 11:28:00 PST

Ode to SoCal

Today represented everything I love about Southern California and I wanted to give an ode to her. Eight-five degree cloudless day and, after checking out Wavewatch, decided to go for a mid-morning sur...
Posted by Ahmet Pretti (CCP) on Tue, 05 Aug 2008 02:17:00 PST

On

God, it's been so long. The weeks (ok, more like week) seemed like forever. I told you she was addictive. Is there any better sound than a far off train whistle blowing (I just heard one this...
Posted by Ahmet Pretti (CCP) on Sun, 03 Aug 2008 04:48:00 PST