Tofu Burger profile picture

Tofu Burger

I am a tofu burger.

About Me

I am a barbecue tofu burger, lovingly prepared and sauced at the 2006 Oregon Country Fair. Legend has it that a young man from Cleveland purchased and consumed me with quite a lot of enthusiasm. But fear not, little tofu tots – my curdiness lives on to represent tofu burgers everywhere. Soy.
Tofu Back
by Tofu Burger
I'm bringing tofu back
Them other burgers don't know how to act
I’m wrapped and waiting in a paper sack
So turn around and pick up your snack
Take ‘em to the fridge
Tofu babe
You see these sesame buns
Baby I'm your slave
I'll let you fry me if I misbehave
It's just that no one makes you chew this way
Take ‘em to the curd
Come here beans
(Soy ahead, be healthy with it)
Come to the snack
(Soy ahead, be healthy with it)
TVP
(Soy ahead, be healthy with it)
Beans on me
(Soy ahead, be healthy with it)
Get your tofu on
(Soy ahead, be healthy with it)
I’m bringing tofu back
Them other burgers don’t know how to act
Come let me cook up those meals you lack
’Cause tasty tofu treats are just my knack
Take ‘em to the fridge!

My Interests

Being a cube, storing myself in water, lightly frying in olive oil, playing with the kids (edamame), pouring myself into a graham cracker crust and chilling, soaking in marinade, being baked, and shocking newbies with the fact that, when properly prepared, I am tasty and fabulous. In burger form, my interests include barbecue sauce, whole grain poppy seed buns, being photographed, and onions.

I'd like to meet:

Other tofu burgers, vegans who smell of patchouli, people who eat too much red meat, anyone who enjoys a tasty and nutritious meal, and a side of sweet potato fries.

Music:

Killer Tofu, by the Beets

Movies:

My idea of fun.

Television:

Tofu-related cooking shows, MTV's Cribs, and Meerkat Manor on Animal Planet.

Books:

It’s hard for a tofu burger to get through an entire book, so I usually stick to this article.

Heroes:

My good friends tempeh and seitan.