Henry Lee Lucas - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Ranger Prince and Sheriff Boutwell showed me the pitures and I confessed. One time Ranger Prince told me that if I kept solving cases (that's what they called it when I confessed) that they would have to make me an Honorary Texas Ranger. I said: "Hell, I'd rather have a sister in a whore house than have a brother in the Texas Rangers." He didn't talk to me for about a week after that. For a big guy, he was very sensitive. He was like a sister to me. There's only one murder I'm responsible for and that was Mother. I have two glass eyes. One I wear and I keep a spare just in case. My best friend in whe whole world used to be Tom on My-Space, but now he's starting to piss me off.

My Interests

I like to fix Lon Mores and other small injuns. Carpentry and crafts, punching out license plates, telling tall tales, making cops look stupid (which ant too hard - hell I only got a 85 IQ), working in the laundry. I've started reading lately trying to improve my mind.

I'd like to meet:

Anybody that aint got no hand cuffs, unless for recreational purposes only.police

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Music:

Jail House Rock, Folsome Prison Blues, I'm in the Jail House Now, Green Green Grass of Home (don't give me that brown stuff), I like Anything by Johnny Cash or Brian Burns. I wouldn't give you a plug nickel for Merl "Cry Baby" Haggard (don't smoke marijuana in Miskogee my ass). I went to one of his concerts and he didn't show and then sued me when I wanted my money back. And they call me a crook. Bring your candy ass back to prison Big Shot.

Movies:

Midnight Express, Escape from Alkatrez, Shaw Shank Redemption, Pappion, Forrest Gump, The Green Mile, Liar Liar

Television:

Law and Order, Bones, CSI, and I really miss Bevis and Butthead and That 70s Show.

Books:

I'm waitin for somebody to write one about me that ant a bunch of lies , ya hear me Hugh?

Heroes:

Sheriff Boutwell (he was like a brother to me; Ranger Bob Prince (he was like a sister to me); Hugh Aynesworth (he was teh very very first one to say I was lying); Vic Feazell (he called me on it - got himself arrested for it and was my lawyer still after all that); Sister Clemmie (she put up with my BS and treated me like a human bean); Sheriff Harwell and Captian Dan Wineberg(they got me out of Georgetown); Truman Simons (he made good coffee and talked sense to me);Rod Ponton and Gary Richardson (they fought for me); John Ben sutter (he was the only one of those suckers who came to my funeral), and Phyllis Wilcox (she pretended to be Becky Powell cause she loved me). There are others that i should mention, but being dead made me forget a lot. If you should be one here write me and remind me. Everyone who helped me is my hero cause they didn't just help me. They helped the country in a way. Know what I mean?. Thank you, Henry Lee

My Blog

I was in a car wreck..

I rear ended a car a few days ago....... I tell you, It was a REALLY bad day! The driver got out of the other car, and he was a friggin DWARF!! He looked up a t me and said, "I am NOT happy!" So I sai...
Posted by Henry Lee Lucas on Mon, 25 Jun 2007 09:05:00 PST

One of These Days

I got one for ya: After an argument, a husband is leaving his wife. He packs his bag and heads for the car. She follows him onto the porch wearing nothing but a house coat. As he reaches for the ...
Posted by Henry Lee Lucas on Thu, 24 May 2007 01:25:00 PST

A Sportsman's Double in Waco by Henry Lee Lucas

I met an older woman at a bar in Waco the other night. She looked pretty darn good for 59. We drank and talked a bit, then she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double, which she explained was a mot...
Posted by Henry Lee Lucas on Sat, 19 May 2007 10:50:00 PST

ZZ Top in Belton, by Henry Lee Lucas

ZZ Top in Belton I drove my old clunker from Waco down to The Belton Expo Center last night and saw ZZ Top. Man, them cooters has gotten old. It was a good show and all, but they are OLD. They oughta...
Posted by Henry Lee Lucas on Sun, 25 Mar 2007 10:33:00 PST

What's the World Coming To? by Henry Lee Lucas

What's the world coming to when even a Judge can't smoke a little weed in the park without getting hassled by gay, Republican, storm-trooper cops? On Sun...
Posted by Henry Lee Lucas on Fri, 23 Mar 2007 07:57:00 PST