Pull: pranks
Push: the $40 for $30 savings plan
Love: sunset light cast on brick buildings
Hate: playas (the game seems more or less OK, I guess)
Snort: pulverized Smartees
Make out: like a bandit (with a mask on)
Dance: this mess around
Forget: to schedule haircuts
Remember: the Maine
Recite: dialouge from Pee Wee's Big Adventure
Over use: hot sauce
Under use: vocabulary
Overstay: welcomes, but I will do your dishes
Give: "extra" cigarettes
Take: liberty
Steal: Polaroid shots
Husk: sweet little corn
Swear: up and down
Praise: bee
Water: I don't know. My plants? My pants? ...I don't know!
Fire: all of your guns at once
Explode: into space
Implode: cathode ray tubes via hurled brick
Blow out: comb
Rise: up singin'
Fall: down laughing
Clap: hands
Slap: thighs; also high fives
Twist: again, like we did last summer
Straighten: up, and perhaps fly right
Turn: on a dime
Drive: all night
Order: things that come by the pint or the super grande
Brew: coffee
Pee: my pants
Poop: (this is a private matter)
Damn: you! God damn you all to hell!
Bless: us, everyone
You: are going to hell
I: am driving.
I'd like to meet:
Hot pistols.
Sons of guns.
People who suffer fools gladly.
People with beer and funny stories.
Women in sunglasses and cowboy hats.
Someone to deliver me from evil. (Not in a holy savior kind
of way. More like in a cab at the end of the night kind of way.)
Others who masturbate to photos of vintage Italian scooters for sale on ebay.
If you ever say hello to me on the street, or beep at me from your car, or holler my name, and I ignore you, it's only because I have my headphones on and can't hear anything but my music. I mean you no disrespect.
I find an air of entitlement especially enticing, and when combined with the sexiness of an inflated ego ... look out.
Music:
CashCow,
Acid Bucket Champion (ABC RULES!!!),
Tedium Deluxe,
Ricky Throws a Fit,
The Nostrils,
Deadly Nerve Gas,
Oliver Twits,
Head Bitten Off,
Main Drag,
The Original Mummy,
Married to Elvis,
The Sound of Instant Regret,
Outlaw Kittens,
The Abrasive "Lesbian" "Folk" "Singers",
Foaming Luxury,
The Suits,
Stingy,
Ignitron,
Petticoat,
Intaglio,
Nebraska Shock,
Tube,
Hoop,
Jim Jam and the DT's,
Genghis Autobahn,
Killalot Hour,
Burgoo,
Mote,
Pedicabala,
Cackle,
My Privates,
National Park,
go-go,
Yeti,
Hump,
Fuck Like Zombies,
Death List 5,
Goalie,
The Stage Whispers,
Grand Duchess,
Lumbago,
Havelock,
Jeez,
Mudflap Dandies,
Toof,
Mad, Madder, Maddest,
Unblanced Homunculus,
Megalith,
Crude Oil,
The Nine-Hundreds,
MC Metrist,
Nonce (their early stuff was better),
Franz KoughKough,
Big No-No,
The Mordents,
The Pretty Mommies,
motmot,
Glove Fuzz,
Cold War Era Wet Dream,
Tackle,
Natch,
Minimum Underdrive,
Dogbane,
Orangutanning Booth,
Peninsula,
The Scarlet Pimp,
Leader Tape,
New Sleaze,
Stink Bomb,
Tentative Yes,
Bang-Up Job,
Busta Foot,
Cream C.H.U.D.,
Slowboat to China Kantner,
Patio Nights,
Pig Language,
The Royal Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!,
...
Movies:
The Scent of Fabulous,
Praising Stinson,
Lame Duck,
The Okie,
Ovenbirds of the Andes,
Proud Flesh (really anything directed by H. Lawrence Davids),
Mrs. Gerard's Catty Manuscript,
Fetid,
The Lurid and the Lured,
Catalina at the Penny Arcade,
The Hour Glass Murders,
Catchers,
Day of the Chaetognath,
La Di Da,
Hyena!,
The Columns Trilogy: Doric, Ionic, Corinthian,
Donkey Work,
She Is Dulcet (Ochre),
She Is Dulcet (Umber),
Where Is Escondido?,
Eruption,
Grievances Tomorrow,
The Reluctant Farmer,
Lacuna,
White Dwarf, Black Hole,
Battle of Poltava,
Remainder,
Your Lust Is a Locked Safe and Only I Have the Combination,
Knuckle Crack,
Knuckle Crack II: Showdown in Ruthenia,
Penalty Box,
Rutledge Gets Some Play,
Entice Me,
Aversion,
Marijuana Fiends,
J'embrace Mon Chien Sur La Buche,
Ready, Set, Go Nutso,
Russian Thistle,
Lovers, Go Home,
Cry Jimmy,
Jinx,
Foreign Policy,
Planet of the Frankensteins,
Lurcher,
Mint Julep,
The Obligee,
Mother of Pearl,
Daddy's Venison,
Pen Pal,
Chloe at the Penumbra,
The Brooding and The Dangerous,
Cling Fish,
Back Fat,
The Brigantine,
Ass,
Cocaine Madness,
Not Allowed,
Illgotten Loot,
Riff Raff Time at the Depot,
Jewy Bumblestein Goes to W.A.S.P.town,
Spy Bullet Right In the Mouth,
...
Television:
Fancy Meeting You Here,
Life With Mr. Beard,
Blue Book Value Hunter,
Casual Fridays,
Green Card!,
The Heebie-Jeebie Hour,
This Isn't What I Ordered,
We Should Be Allowed To Leave,
What Makes You So Great?,
Wake Up, Hayes!,
Been Here? Done This?,
Law of Averages,
Lowest Common Detonation,
He's Incompetent,
The Weepy D.A.,
Lies!,
Goofs,
America's Biggest Wuss,
Smile Time,
Temperature Rising,
Lookin' Crafty,
Collusion,
Implication: Sex Act,
Brocker & Chedolli, Attorneys at Law,
Aren't We Special?,
Umbrage Takers,
Umbrage Takers: Miami,
Everyone Annoys the Retiree,
...
Books:
A Sexy Trouncing by Barbara Hart,
Scab Face by Gene Caul,
Negatives Developed by Tunde Crier,
I Slept Late the Day I Was Born by Mary Jo Whaley,
A Thousand Cops by J.B. Wesley,
Mink Oil Weekend by Soledad Franco,
Don't Talk To Me About Buddy Holly by Dinky Hocker,
Go Down Singin' by Lucretia Danube,
They Tasted of the Saints by Meredith MacRae,
The Anchorage Trilogy by P.M. Higgins,
Soldiers In Mom's Army by Nicky De La Croix,
Seven Unpleasant Nights In Ibiza by Cookieman Sperber,
Do Speak Well of Fat Jack Bell by Joseph Christie,
Postage Due by Mags Hopperstedt,
Laundry Daze by Stan Cazale,
Heartbreak Academy by Irma Musidora,
Pssst! Knifeman's Coming For You! by Eli Charles,
Do I Smell Strawberries? by Alain Moss,
This Asphalt Knows I'm One Angry Prick by J. Walter Weatherman,
Yes, Yes, Y'all! by Cindi Lightballoon,
You Got Cervixed: A Grrrl's Guide to Break Dance Competitions by Bennington Smith,
The Scientology of Kanga by Gavin Smalls,
Not If I See You First by Marie St.Etienne,
Dickwad: The Case Against the Third Ammendment in the 21st Century by Pearl Cabot Lexington,
Smut and Solicitation,
Nightshade and Naughtiness,
Bullet Side First,
A Field Ripe for Plowing,
Fist Pumping Cheers,
and Skirts Underwater: A Photographic Expose all by Michelle Sorbet,
...
Heroes:
Jon Takami, drunken philosopher prince of Portland.
... I just read that Zero Mostel was such a big coffee drinker that he was once admitted to the hospital with caffeine poisoning. Wow. That really puts my addiction in perspective. Thank you, Mr. Mostel.
