Valerie Fausone - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Occupation: HUMOR WRITER. Author and columnist, see www.valeriefausone.com or www.ridiculouslife.us for free book chapter, (it's amusing, I swear to God) dedicated to satire and nonsense, and self proclaimed Global Ambassador of Music and Guitar.I have written for Disney, have sold 100's of humor pieces in newspapers, magazines (local and nationally) also I have sold many stories to Bay Area newpapers, including City Bike, MIJ, Petaluman, and elsewhere in the USA, the Daytona News Journal, The Florida Business Journal, TempDigest PLUS I won Shock Your Mama writing contest hands down. Apparently, I can shock some Mamas.I also contribute without charge to the Bay Area ALS Association doing copy writing, press releases etc. I write op-eds for free hah! I am a publicist in the rock/blues genre and work exclusively for Mr. Floyd Miles, with Gregg Allman and Friends. I write full time from my home in Petaluma, CA. I maintain a writers blog here and at http://bluesgirly.livejournal.I published my first book, Life is Ridiculous, in 2006 and my new project called Fountain of Marvelous shoulds be out by June 2008. They are collections of absurd stories for grown ups and people who like sarcasm. I am married to the coolest guy ever, I have 4 little dogs, two great kids and I'm thinking about getting a fish.
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My Interests

Mark Twain, little dogs, reading, kickboxing, playing guitar, avoiding my cell phone, Juicy Couture anything, I LOVE NASCAR especially Dale Earnhardt Junior (#88-AMP/NAT'L GUARD.

I'd like to meet:

Authors, writers, and anybody SMART. I like hilarious slackers, musicians, editors, librarians and anyone who is not boring. If you like Dale Jr., or NASCAR - we have got to be friends:)I'd like to meet anyone working on behalf of ALS patients and their families. a I'd like to meet some pirates, and at least one unicorn

Music:

Led Zeppelin, Shinedown, Robben Ford, Classic Rock, Three Days Grace, Allman Brothers, Floyd Miles, Aerosmith, Hinder, Evanesence, Luv Planet and my friend Mark McGee, Metallica, Jimi Hendrix, Stevie Ray, Government Mule, Beatles, Susan Tedeschi and the Derek Trucks Band, Eric Lindell, Brain Setzer, Weezer, Audioslave, Train, Elvin Bishop, BB King....

Television:

The Dog Whisperer Show. I keep trying to train these mutts- Cesar, HELP ME.

Books:

I read 100 books every six months and there is NO WAY I can pick a favorite without going on and on about 400 of them. However, I'm Dave Barry's biggest fan.

Heroes:

My Parents. Mark Twain. That's it.

My Blog

My Pride and Prejudice

Yesterday I had the distinguished honor of attending my nephew's 8th grade graduation at our Junior High. As all outdoor graduations require, it was hot, there were plenty of bees and where 1 out of 5...
Posted by Valerie Fausone on Fri, 06 Jun 2008 06:46:00 PST

Run for the Border

If Global Warming turns out to be true I am certain the root cause of it is children's after school activities and resulting friendships which require daily migrations rivaling those of Canadian geese...
Posted by Valerie Fausone on Wed, 04 Jun 2008 06:21:00 PST

My New Book is HERE!!! Yay! Does Happy Dance....

Just Published... Fountain of Marvelous Valerie FausoneAuthor of Life is Ridiculous In this collection you will get answers to the really important questions in life such as how to: Be happy you'r...
Posted by Valerie Fausone on Mon, 02 Jun 2008 04:34:00 PST

Rachel Ray and the Donut Scarf

In yet another example of how fast food kills, TV chef Rachel Ray is in fact, a terrorist sympathizer cooking up subliminal messages in cahoots with Dunkin Donuts in a scheme to undermine the United S...
Posted by Valerie Fausone on Fri, 30 May 2008 07:18:00 PST

The Free Agent Manifesto

I have been a freelance writer for ten years. I've written for Disney's Family Fun magazine, The Petaluman, San Francisco City Bike, Fetch and twenty million other newspapers, monthlies, and pitiful r...
Posted by Valerie Fausone on Thu, 29 May 2008 07:06:00 PST

Petaluma Hat Company

Petaluma is Beverly Hills for birds. If you live somewhere else, thank Moses right now. If you are a tourist, and have this town marked out on your "Places to see before you die," you'd better...
Posted by Valerie Fausone on Tue, 27 May 2008 07:15:00 PST

Happy Memorial Day!

A big salute from this writer to our military is overdue as I make astounding use of my freedoms for which I did nothing to earn or deserve. Thank you. My weekend plot to impersonate ...
Posted by Valerie Fausone on Mon, 26 May 2008 07:46:00 PST

The End

There is nothing funny about death. When I lost my parents I swore my life was over. My heart felt like raw hamburger and I was in a tragic funk for two years straight and half of me will never snap o...
Posted by Valerie Fausone on Thu, 22 May 2008 06:24:00 PST

Flying Free Anyway

Most of you know that I am in the business of story telling so every time a story needs telling I have to tell it. (When I don't tell it, my head explodes. Such is the writer's life.) , I came upon an...
Posted by Valerie Fausone on Wed, 21 May 2008 06:27:00 PST

Having Bad Gas

I have two kids, thus I drive an SUV. I have an SUV because I transport teenagers, backpacks, sports gear, grocery tonnage, home projects, four dogs and other assorted passengers who are of the large ...
Posted by Valerie Fausone on Tue, 20 May 2008 06:59:00 PST