The Day My Heart Stopped
January, 28 2005 begin like any other day. We lived in Columbus, GA to me it was not that cold, when you from up north Georgia winters are nothing . All three of my children were happy to start the day of school. They weren’t happy of the fact of going to school but because it was Friday and they had plans for the weekend. Everybody looks forward to these sleep in mornings. My cousin Febe came to stay with me while my husband, at the time, was in Iraq to help me with the kids and to keep me company . I will not be so lonely while my best friend (Jamie) was gone for the third time in four years that he had been in the Army. I went to school that morning and I come home to catch some z’s before the kids come home to tell me how their day went. Mone’ (that’s my first born) is the first one to get home, I was still taking my cat nap. Her crying made me jump out of my bed to see what was going .. I could get out of bed she was already in my room with her face wet from her tears. At first I didn’t know what to think of this, I can look at her and see no physical marks on her. So, I know she wasn’t in any fight with anybody and thank God for that because she is not a fighter. She will talk her way out of anything. Then the second thing came to my mind was “Oh†my God she is pregnant. I was thinking I didn’t know when she lost her innocence. But what she was about to tell me was far worse then I could hope for.
She comes walking toward me with her arms open ready to receive that motherly love that she needed for that moment. Before she can reach me I told her to stop where she was at, because if she was with child I didn’t want to get mad at her, and hit and harm my grandbaby. When I asked her to stop you could look into her eyes and see that she needed to know that I loved her and that I needed to know what she about to tell me. She went on telling me that she had talked to some of her teachers and she wanted to tell me what she had told me before they did. These are the words she says that change our life forever, “Mom, dad has been molesting meâ€. I wanted to make sure that I heard her correctly so I asked her to repeat what she just said and she said the same identical words as before. Before I freaked out I wanted to make sure she knew what she was talking about so I cross-examined her and made her explain to me what she is accusing the man I loved since my youth of. She replied with same response as before but added a little bit more to it. Her words were, “…… he has been molesting off and on for 10 years“. Mind you she is now 14 years of age. I give her the hug that she desired and told her that I believed her and I loved her. I ensure dher at that very moment that I had her back.I needed help right now. I needed for someone to help me understand what my daughter just told me. For a second, it just was sitting at my ear drums. By the time I find my cousin in the den the shock from the news beat down past my ear drums, busted though my mind and was making its way though to pierce my heart at the pin point where the main blood line is. She looked at me and knew right away that something was wrong. By the time she asked me, the shock found the main artery and my heart stopped as I fell to the floor. When I came to, I could remember one tear falling from down from my right eye and it felt like a snowball. It was so cold and heavy leaving my cold lifeless body. When Febe asked me what was wrong, I told her what Mone’ just shared with me but when I was telling her I couldn’t hear myself telling her why the house was now under distress. There was a ringing sound in the atmosphere. Everything to me was happening in slow motion. It was like you can taste the sorrow and grief in the air. Then it gets dark from the dark cloud that was making a permitted stay on my soul and my household. Every breath that I took I could smell hurt. I had to remember I had to try to pull myself together before the others children got home. But it was too late to act like I had a perfect home, my home was turned completely upside down. How could I put on a smiling face when Satan just stole my joy? I was so used to being the peace maker, I had no idea what to do next, but I did know one thing: I wanted to die. I had fought all of my life, this battle could have passed me by. This was a test where I didn’t care to see the answers. tennaya layout powered by HOT FreeLayouts.com / MyHotComments..
